i have a bad feeling
about never seeing you again
little child whining
right over your head
big girl pining
in my big girl bed

i miss walking home to you
even tho you were never inside

there was you in the moon
from my window
when i stargazed the sky

there was you in the pages i wrote
with the intention
of getting you out of my nights

there was you in the bedsheets
that held a shivering body
full of “neverminds”

there was you in the keys of my piano
that caught me hum through the cries

i felt you everywhere
cause there was you in my mind.

loving you is a constant ache
a constant shiver
and a constant wake

loving you is as hard as crying in silence
as running forever
as running in water