As you can see,
I've never been a prodigy.
Always unimpressive, apparently.
Stressing is an everday thing.
But you wouldn't care,
You're just so unaware.
Depression has me ensnared,
But you couldn't handle my despair.
So keep your eyes closed.
And I'll do the same.
The things I think about are completely insane,
I wish the good times would never change.
But this isn't my dreamland.
It's a place where I don't want to stand.
Depression is the ocean,
Anxiety is the sand,
And I'm somewhere floating in between it all.

I am not afraid of love.
I am afraid of being hurt beyond repair.

I am afraid of giving my all to one,
Who may not always be there.

I am afraid of losing myself
And never finding my way back.

I am afraid of falling in love--
If you aren't falling back.

Reaching out,
you're reaching down
An extended hand
as I slowly drown.
Just in time
-I was slipping away
Numb from the conflict
yet, here to stay.
Forever devoted
to what we're building
But, my heart is warfare
and used to shielding
Used to fighting
or running away
Trying to live
to love another day
But, with you
I'm up in arms
caught off-guard
with no alarms
It's finding a way
to buffer our space
Learning what to say
to keep peace in our place
But you don't want peace
You just need to express
to just let it all out
no matter the mess.
So we continue the war
of express and retreat
back to the therapist
in brutal defeat.

022515 ~ 10.11a