Hello old friend
it's time again for flannel shirts
and dead leaves
bitter coffee and cold breezes
jack o' lanterns are our totem
and 4am that knows all our secrets.
its autumn again and the veil is thin
I hope the witching hours Find you well

So I'm laying in bed, and a thought occurs to me.
With such ferocity I think if I Were standing it would have knocked me down; "**** yourself"
and I stumble for a moment but I mentally regain my footing.
And in doing so realize I regularly survive my worst enemy.
I've outlived the gulling of my own demons tailor made to bring me down and I'm still here.
How much worse could the world ever really throw at me then that?
If i can survive me (And i can) I can survive anything.

You are not distant, and your memories are not far away, but it feels so, absence makes the heart grow fonder as well as other things
the way i feel, have felt for you has always been more than ***.
though its definitely a part of it - id devour you in heart as well as body.
you give my heart a *******, a heart-on.
you make my emotions libidinous and my mouth ravenous
You give me an affection *******.

life isn't what you make of it.
its what you've made.
life is constantly living with the aftermath
of the mistakes you've made
if you're prone to making them
it's a recurring past tense result
check-sum of your most fantastical fuckups

you never think things will sneak up on you like this, that your problems will become a monster and eat you.
i blame "fine"
we parrot that, even as kids - we are taught to be "fine" - not taught to be aware that something might be wrong; that might mean something happened - no, we bathe in and wrap ourselves in "im fine"
but the truth is, were not.
**we are not fine