I started wearing hoodies a lot more,
The kind that hide me,
Cover me from the world,
It went unnoticed,
It’s okay, it’s cold anyways,
The warmth is more than just physical—
It’s a shield,
A way to feel safe,
To be invisible.
I stopped finishing supper,
Pushing food around on my plate,
I stopped eating like I used to,
It went unnoticed,
And I wondered,
Did you see the change,
Or were you too busy,
Too distracted with your own lives?
I sat there,
Trying to convince myself
That it wasn’t a big deal,
But it was,
It always is.
I always get hot chocolate as it gets colder,
It’s the one thing I can rely on,
But when I asked just for water,
Why didn’t you notice?
Why didn’t you see the difference?
The quiet shift,
The subtle way I started to shrink.
I clench my stomach,
Fighting the gnawing emptiness,
That went unnoticed too.
I went from straight A’s to barely passing,
The grades slipped,
But you didn’t see it,
You didn’t ask why,
Why did you not notice?
I became a shadow of myself,
But the only thing you noticed
Was the slipping report card.
Not the silent struggle,
Not the quiet breakdowns,
Not the tears hidden behind my eyes.
You claim to always love me,
To care about me,
But love isn’t just words,
It’s not just promises,
It’s action,
It’s seeing the changes,
Not waiting for the crash to happen.
Parents are supposed to say that—
I know it’s what you’re supposed to say,
But it doesn’t mean it’s true.
It doesn’t mean I feel seen,
Or heard,
Or understood.
So, why didn’t you notice?
Why didn’t you ask?
Why didn’t you see
That I was quietly slipping away,
Hiding behind my hoodies,
Behind my silence,
Behind everything I pretended to be.
It’s okay,
I’ll find my way,
But I wish you would’ve noticed.