a jealous shadow
from the dark side of my mind
creeps its way through the crevices
eager to remind me
that i’m not and never will be
worthy of your time
i’m just a filler for any other thing
the next to catch your eye

it’s just a guess, i guess
that’s how it goes, i suppose
i’m feeling older, older everyday
all this pain is here to stay
sit back and watch my brain decay
walls decorated with the frames
pictures of how we used to play
my back protests, my knees complain
dusty boxes all my toys are in
i’ll never be that boy again

the side ended and i let it
sit in silence and forget it
til death its me and my regrets
the tidal violence that i’m left with

no one tells you
no one warns you
that your brain
will outrun you

pin me down like a butterfly
dissect me and search but all you’ll find
behind my pendulum of chemical tides
is more grey skies and a fabergé smile
i will never be the porcelain me
you have in mind