It was a dark night in November
A baby wailed as it was delivered
The mother gasped and breathed no more
Began the tale of sorrow for
And every night was darkened pain as
Hannah would have to be refrained
Caught up in her guilt
She's thinking about cutting again

But comes a rattle upon the pane
And in flies the spirit's wind
"Who dares cross this portal door
Come out I do implore"

And Hannah stepped back in fright
For it must be an attack tonight
But the spectral image of a shady form
Left poor Hannah unadorned
"Speak most devious one
Tell me where it is your coming from"

The image coalesced into physical form
That on the outside looked so forlorn
It parted what looked like lips
And uttered the word,"Chi"

Hannah was quick to know
Everyone has a chi that flows
But still Hannah was confused
And the question now arose
"Of what Chi do you speak
And tell me how it works ?"

But the only response was a hollow whisper  "Chi" , was all it said

So Hannah was quick to respond
Ran to the refrigerator and opened the door
She grabbed a can and quickly returned
To the entrance unconcerned
With a can of five hour Super Chi

She popped the top and poured it down
Into the spatial beast
It shook at first then burpped at last
Wiped it's mouth and passed some gas
Then it said , "Chi that was great !"

Parched throat
Dry lips
Skin stretched
Over bony hips
Prominent collarbones
Sunken in eyes
Irises the color
Of Pennsylvania skies
Atop her shoulders
Rests her head
She's very much alive
But looks so dead
Her breath escapes
In shallow pants
Her slender fingers
Comparable to spiders
Crawl over her hair
Of black, silky webs
Effortlessly perfect
Yet endlessly hurting
You'll always be worth it
So don't you worry
Beauty truly is
A burden of it's own
Beauty can't survive
Being alone  
The unlovely
Make beauty
Beautiful

I cannot tell a lie
And I will not lie back
To watch you *deny the truth
I never really loved you
I only ever felt affection
For all the abuse
That I knew I deserved
You may think it absurd
But how could I possibly
Love someone else
When I have yet to learn
How to love myself?
Or even live with myself?

Show a smile based on a lie,
Or a frown based on the truth,
Which would you prefer?
I'd like to smile
Once in a while
But I cannot tell a lie
And I will not lie back
To watch the truth die
In the soulless eyes
I see in my mirror
That girl whispers to me
But I cannot hear her
So she fades away
Silently

Yet, I know
This cannot be my destiny
Lies of smiles
Truths of frowns
It's bringing me down
I could think of a million lies
But only six eyes
To help me smile
More than just
Once in awhile
I cannot tell a lie
And I will not lie back
To watch you steal my smiles
My truths
My everything

I will stare in your eyes
While you spout all your lies
And watch you crumble
And Fall
While I smile
Standing tall
Staring down at your frown
Wishing you knew the truth
That I cannot tell a lie
And **I never really loved you

I told her to back up,
to back up to my parted lips
& she said
she only wanted to go forward,
yet, she knew better.
Always the trendsetter,
she giggled
in her ecstacy
& mine.

Fourteen years ago when I held you in my arms, it seemed surreal. So fragile you were and like a tiny doll. Only God knows how much I miss being able to pick you up and hug you tightly close to my heart whenever I feel depressed.
And yet I love you now all the more. You are so special to me and always shall be. Our family has shared so many joys and so much heartbreak through the swiftly passing years.
You are sunshine and daybreak and iridescent rainbow hues.
The baby has been replaced with a very special friend.


Happy Birthday Sweet Daughter!


Much Love,
From Your Mother