It's high time
I drown my pride
open up these
ocean eyes
let the rays
shine inside

my slit throat
no longer groans
my own hands
have forged this
hope
from broken bones
to newfound
growth

Her head tilted
every so slightly
after the question
settled
as if it had been
too
long

I'm constantly tortured
by the thought
that I am an orchard
where the trees forgot
how to grow

I sew the seeds
but there's no
fruit or leaves
to show
that I've
grown

Electronic beep
signaled the beginning
words rushed past my teeth
pulsing with hope
as my heart stood tall
but three days
sloshed by
with no return
call

I guzzled down a cigarette
even though I "quit"
three weeks in
had me going strong
four weeks had me sayin'
"****, nothing makes sense"
along with a favorite song
one slip turned into
a repeat
bad habit

If I get no gifts
I'll be fine
because I spent the night
with my brother
having a grand
'ol
time

she is
the gift
that takes
a lifetime
to unwrap

Sometimes I wish
for a different place
where my memories
have been drained
you can tell my friends
and family it's better
where I am
wiped clean,
an empty
slate
.

While rummaging
through my mother's
filing cabinet
for info needed
to transfer
I came across the section
for
me
papers on applications
medical records
but tucked away in the
very back
was a folder
I opened it up
curious
out dropped a picture
that made me feel much
older,
for there I stood
long hair
white tux
with Sydney
on my arm...
it was prom
I started
to cry

Chapped lips
icicle finger tips
this is what I've become
my own eclipsed sun
it's hard to venture
on
and
on
and
on