Last night I had a dream
I dreamt of colours that blend like marble
I watched as they swirled  in their timeless eloquence.
Whether the light to the shade
The blend to the fade
Each earthy tone seeped gently into one another
The complexion of our bleeding earth was so perfect
We were one
For a brief moment I was free
For in that moment
the world was as it was meant to be **

You fought your timeless crusade
only in search of a point of surrender
To be eased of the mindlessness
Rid of your deepest qualms
You fought almost to the death
With an army of nothingness
with invisible soldiers
who’s bullets have torn you apart
You fought valiantly
for all that you already had x

A moon milky white,
tossed shimmers to the trees.

The branches danced modestly,
As the leaves then whispered to the breeze.

Clouds lined with silver look to be sketched out of ash,
As brashly strewn sequins dance on black glass! X

Will your world finally return, once you cry out into an empty space loud enough?

Will you allow the frayed threads of your voice
not to be drowned out by the patter of self doubt?

Could its chance to be heard
only exist
in your own terrified silence ? X

My love bled for hers,
Somewhere deep, nowhere found!
All that’s left,
A child stood brandishing swords,
Defending his heart,
Giving us a breath in the space we never wanted,
I always loved her
But my greatest fear,
What if she loved me? Truly ?
Where would I run?

What is it to live?
Have our pasts become our eclipse?
The present blackened out,
Enslaved to a memory,
When will the clouds break free from the rain ?
Are we a pendulum of emotion, drunk on a tonic of pain?

What is it to live?
Is it to love?
To Finally Catch the falling blossom of spring, as you so aimlessly wandered,
Through your garden of unsayable things.
Did it slip through your fingers ?
Did you see yourself fall?
We were meant to be wild,
Tho Tormented by existence,
This beast once was a child.

What is it to live?  
Are you burdened by figments of truth?
Does your reflection only exist to disdain you?
To be taken only once by the grasp of another’s bleeding heart,
To truly taste the bitter sweetness of love,
This could be the only moment you ever have to breathe your most effortless breaths.
I hope you’ll know when its kiss feels safe enough to ask for one more!
Because If love is your captor,
your prison,
Then to die on this lonesome hill,
is the only way to survive x

Deep in the bowels of my pulsing heart there is winter,
A derelict house without doors,
A photograph battered and stained.

My fists grip thistles as I fear these tepid reaches of peace,
clutching at the last thrown thread.
But as the dead wind meekly blows I hear your voice,
I see you,
Your hands look weathered but your eyes true,
always true.
For a brief moment you’re here, and in this moment I’m free.

I crave your warm fluid love,
At war with your absence I balance on sharpened edges.
For In this winter your fire still burns,
And in this jailhouse of grief I will await my release,
To come and search the heavens to find you.

I long for your nostalgic scent,
Like the pine needles in the forest,
Like the bluebells in spring,
Your smile turns rock to rubble,
Your presence is my shelter,
The flame in my deepest winter **

For mum ❤️

I searched for your love
Down the wishing well
Every last coin
All I was worth
Tossed
Invested in hope
You went from a symphony of white noise
To plague of space in my heart
I was so thirsty for you
I guzzled you down
Tizzy and drunk on your silence
And for my thirst
It never did quench
Dry mouthed
And alone
I drowned in the idea of you x

I tripped over you yesterday,
The floor became lost,
The sky’s became dark as you spoke of your qualms,
In the night your love was tossed.

I cared for you so much that I fell in my sleep,
Down a well of pity I cried for your wellbeing,
I worried the moon with my midnight shaking of fists.

Ive prayed for your safety,
I know you play in the drain,
Ill still care for your heart forever,
However much you smirk at the pain.

Tho you scream in the hall,
Ill still care for your noise,
But from distance,  
in all of my love **