My pain irks me,
Sends me flying into my bed.
Under the cover of darkness.

As I cry myself awake,
Unable to sleep.
I ask myself..
Why?

Why am I such a ***** up?
Why do I make mistakes,
Knowing my parents will be angry?

My tears intensify,
My claws take my skin,
Leaving ****** marks...

I scream in my head,
Rocking to the beat of my music,
That sings in my ear bud.

Evanescence,
Rascal Flatts.
Plumb.
Crossfade.

I cannot find peace..
All I feel is that pain.
That has ****** me over for,
Five years.

I'm only a teenager,
I only can take so much.
Until Its over.

I've already tried once...
What makes you think I'll try again?

Dad,
What makes you so ******?
Taking it out on me,
Because I don't listen?

Why can't you and my step mom,
Just realize..
That I'm only Seventeen..

And so it says,
My title will always stay.
Lone wolf forever..

I cant be perfect,
It's just not my style.

My life is so different,
I cry even harder.

Mistakes,
Promises broken.
Two faced liars..

God,
Why aren't you here?
I need you..
And I need you now..

As my pain intensifies,
All I see is the cascading shadows.
Watching my every move...

My music doesn't help anymore..

The news.
How grave it is to hear,
That a deadly cancer.
May be here..

My grandmother,
You must be brave..
Your the last grandparent I have..

Of course you won't tell me,
I already know.
Just I won't say anything..
Not even a word.

My heart is breaking,
If you die I swear..
It will release that being..
The one who wishes not to be here.

As days blur,
I see the pattern...
Grazing, sealing, purifying.
All that is hideous.
To make it seem beautiful.

I hide,
Behind a mask,
A shell..
A force field.

What seems beautiful,
Isn't true for the beast.

The Beast,
That is hideous.
When she's angry.

So as the pattern lays flat,
These days turn into weeks,
Weeks turn to months.
Months turn to years..

Not a lifeline goes by,
When a monster is involved.

And when it's involved,
It seems the sands of time,
Are frozen still.
Even in the wasteland,
Of Hell..

Pain...
What carries a burden.
Of stone cold sorrow.

It leaks into the pores,
Severing every contact from the mind,
To the soul.

You walk numb.
Relentless to break this hold.
You knew this would happen.

That he.
Would break the chain.
The bond.

No contact,
Nothing..

Time to move on...