The White Lights On The Christmas Tree,
Replace The Summer Sun,
I Remember Our Summer Together,
It Was Probably My Best One

I've Cared For You--Smiled While I Was Down,
Just So I Could Be Happy With You,
And You--You Just Snarl And Snap,
Make Me Happy You Demand,
And When I Try--You Say I Let You Down,
And As I Write This Tears Climb Up My Throat,
And Blur My Vision,
And I Know--This Isn't Right

I Was So Excited For The Snow To Come,
Fantasizing About Buliding Snowmen,
And Silently Sipping Hot Cocoa While Snuggling,
But Now, As The Snow Piles,
2-3--And Now 10 Inches,
I Somberly Lay With Paled Skin,
The Last Remnant Of My First Happy Summer Gone,
And With Lips Straight And Firm,
Hair Black As The Coal Eyes Of The Snowman Frosty,
I Wonder--Why Am I Losing Hope For Us?
Because You Ignored Me On Our Anniversary

give not a sound

      trembler

the knees knocking crane
'oer a lathered thing rising

by mute unsound

       fumbler

the crook pierced open vane
by jeweled petal (a poppy smiling)

creeply warmth unbound

        tumbler

a flower blooms in sullied fane
inch by eater -- becomes silver stung

In the worlds eyes I am
a *****, wasted
sickly, girl
ruined by the world
people

but in your eyes
I am a high priestess
pure, as ****** snow
clean with no flaw

I will always be wasted, ruined
in the worlds eyes
but in yours I'm whole

"I'll be stopping by tomorrow with something"

I ask if it will explode when she leaves.

"No not  a bomb, just a box"

I wait and worry regardless,

"I'll be there in ten"

I brace myself as the blue Toyota pulls up.

"I don't think we should talk for a while"

I struggle to respond as her tears begin.

I am helpless to stop them.




She walks off and the car drives away.

I open the box and it explodes,

In it is every gift and every card I'd given her.

"How can you be hurt? You broke up with me."

Maybe she was right,

Maybe I didn't know the pain she felt before



But now? Now I know.

"I couldn't bear to see these around my room"

How the hell am I to live with them?

A necklace I had crafted,

Her favorite candy,

All gifts to her, now punishment to me.



But the bomb,

The true explosion,

Hits me with a blast I dare atoms to match.

An insignificant little plush toy.

A beautiful little Orca,

Soft as her caress once was,

Silky as her hair in my fingers,

Murderously painful like a knife in the gut.

The little card dangled innocently,

"Happy Anniversary Honey! XOXO"

It would have been today.