As the pain pierced through the murky veil of indifference that surrounded her, she felt alive again.

I think I might be in love with you
I don't know
I don't know how love feels
All I know is how I feel
And how I've never felt this before

I think I might be in love with you
I don't know
I don't know how this goes
But I'd like to find out
Please let me find out

i was sitting on a swinging bench
listening to squawks and squeaks
and i saw a little spider
no bigger than the freckle on
the knuckle of my thumb.
i asked it, "what is your purpose? what is it that you do?"
the response i heard in short
echoed above the noise surrounding me
he said it was "to live"

How much truth sleeps at the bottom of a bottle
So much soul lies with a drink in the hand
I downed shots of forget and apologies
I've drank cups full of women to whom I don't know names
These pockets run dry as my insides burn
And all my poems are written with a quivering hand.

I love you

There
I said it

But not to you, though
Because I'm afraid

I'm scared that you'll end up like everyone who's told me the same things,
I'm scared that you'll leave and pretend that you didn't just shatter my whole world when you ask me to be just friends

But I know you won't do that

I love you

There
I said it

But not to you, though
Because I'm afraid

I'm afraid you'll get to know me better and it'll drive you away
I'm afraid that maybe if I showed you my true colors you'd want to be with a different hue

But I know you're not like that

I love you

There
I said it

But not to you, though
Because I'm afraid

I'm ******* terrified that you'll realize what a mess I am, how I'm barely holding myself together, and that'll make you run away

I'm terrified of losing you before I even feel confident enough to have you

I know you're not like that

I know that

I wouldn't have loved you if you were

But that doesn't help
It doesn't make me trust myself
Loving you isn't gonna make me stop doubting myself

I love you
But I still can't say it

It's not because I'm not sure

It's because I'm afraid