I feel more lonely when she's around
Than I do by myself
I can't make it make sense
And I can't can it and put it on a shelf

It splits me in half and destroys both pieces
I can't answer why I stay
It's neither love nore is it fear
This is life in the gray

©2025

Life is the tragedy
That balances the more accepted comedy

©2025

I sip on a drink
My demise firmly in hand
Desperate to not think
But my demons stay on-brand

©2025

Could I answer "who am I?"
Even if I where to ask myself?
I'd surely catch myself being something else
Draped in some kind of forgotten lie

I bend and split like beams of light
Fractured through the prism of life
My personality's gone under the knife
I don't recognize myself, try as I might

Maybe it's been too long to yearn
For something that's too far gone to grasp
So are these last year's only pointless laps?
There's no familiar street for me to turn

I'm lost amongst my own false faces
And I can no longer find my own
This is my cross to bare alone
Falling out of my own graces

©2025

I sit and rot
Wishing I could turn back the clock
A thief in a thought
With a litany of failures to mock

©2025

Can you only visualize with your eyes?
How else does one view the prize?
What's the max number of tries?
What if both body and mind twist truth into lies?
Can I adopt a different disguise?
Will I have to provide my own alibis?
Or do those come packaged up with said lies?
Who attends to the styes?
Why are there so many goodbye's?
Lost in the questions as hope dies
Emptiness on the rise
Forced into the chamber where despair resides
This is what hope buys
Mama never said there'd be days like this
Days a pig flies

I yearn for a chain of moments to be myself
By myself
Just me and no one else
Why then do I put those thoughts in a jar
With no air holes
On an out of reach shelf?
And expect it not to
Affect my mental health
Solitary has it's value
While family and popularity
Can be an overvalued wealth

©2025