spiders crawl through holes
in my skin.
i spray repellents, but
they still get in.
skating patterns below my flesh-
so very thin.
leaving residual paths of terror,
i can't tell where they're going.
but i itch, scratch, tear at where they've been.

is it cold without my love to wrap around yourself?

Dust I am

star home from the sky
now burned I lay, ash.

Dust I am

carved in stone
slain in soil.

Dust I am

and dream to ride
astride the breeze.

i guess i forgot
that underneath your muscles,
your lean, mean attitude,
you are merely flesh and bones.

i guess i forgot
that behind those wary eyes,
the ones that saw me for me,
there are tears, waiting to fall.

i guess i forgot
that i had any weapons
which could pierce your toughened heart,
and i used them in the cruelest way.

i guess i forgot
that you aren't going to call,
but i know, before i even dial,
that you aren't going to answer.

you asked me what love is today, little one.
I smiled and said,
love is your mummy and daddy smiling.
love is how we care for you.
love is the way we kiss.

I wish I could say that love
is always made up of comfort
and warmth
and a cherished feeling
spreading through your veins.
but it's not.
love is the tears stained into your cheeks.
love is the constant feeling of jealousy
because you can't bear anyone taking away
the only person who makes you happy.
love is sadness
love is broken
love is a knife
that twists in your stomach
every time he doesn't reply.

I wish I could say love was easy, little one.
It's not.
But it sure as hell is beautiful.