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289 · Dec 2022
Light (Anti-Darkness)
badwords Dec 2022
Once upon a time. Very, very long ago
I saw this faint, distant light
Without direction, I decided to follow
Trudging forward, it growing ever more bright

Years and years I dauntlessly traveled
Always directed into it's glow
Time broke down and eventually unraveled
As I steered myself into this luminescent show

Engulfed in radiant splendor
I realized I was finally there
A warmth so tender
I surrendered to it's care

I lived here forever
Maybe even longer
Was there a time before? Probably never.
It's embrace grows stronger

All at once or maybe little by little
I can't say, eternities were like hours
But what once was a torrent became a trickle
A chill encroached upon the light's unfathomable powers

I was only a visitor here, welcome to stay
To recover my strength and heal my weariness
But the moment has come, that dreaded day
To venture forth from the light into dreariness

To steel me for my quest was the light's intent
Alone to soldier forward into endless black
Waves of unreadiness wash over me, by myself I went
To never see the light again, no turning back

This is where I am now or have I always been?
Cold, alone, afraid with nothing to see
Am I awake or asleep? Sometimes I think I dream
Of an idea of a time before the void's uncertainty

It's hard to comprehend and harder each time
To think of anything existing besides the nothing and me.
I am slipping, terminally.
Soon there will only be nothing. No more me or dream of mine.

I am nothing and I have always been. Infinite emptiness, eternally.
This is a piece I wrote that I later followed with a companion piece (and re-titled the original to reflect the complementary changes) it can be found here:

https://hellopoetry.com/poem/4920164/anti-light-darkness/
280 · Jul 2021
Flow
badwords Jul 2021
It comes and it goes
The ebb and the flow
Words like water
Moon mother, sun father
The cycle of days
A myriad of ways
To be alone
To atone
Words are like air
No promiscuous care
Suffocating quiet
Internal riot
Speech comes like earth
A child like birth
Doomed to die
The precipice of why
Language is fire
Motivation, desire
Burning the land
For what's not in hand
The elements convene
To what does it mean
An emotional dream
An altruistic scream
278 · Jul 2024
Obligatory Haiku
badwords Jul 2024
Gimmick in three lines,
Forced brevity, shallow words—
Haikus, I despise.
262 · Dec 2024
Bedtime
badwords Dec 2024
I rest.
To not wake.
255 · Aug 2024
Quarantine
badwords Aug 2024
It’s best to stay away from the sick
Lest their plague makes you a pick
Romantic, their calling
Inevitability falling
To not stray from the flock is the ‘trick’
247 · Nov 2024
'Functional"
badwords Nov 2024
It ain’t over yet,
Falling through the jagged depths—
Rock whispers, "Begin."
Written ins reply to:

https://hellopoetry.com/poem/4922299/the-fall/

I HATE HAIKUS....

https://hellopoetry.com/poem/4857198/obligatory-haiku/

#IHATEHAIKUS#IHATEHAIKUS#IHATEHAIKUS#IHATEHAIKUS#IHATEHAIKUS#IHATEHAIKUS#IHATEHAIKUS#IHATEHAIKUS#IHATEHAIKUS#IHATEHAIKUS#IHATEHAIKUS#IHATEHAIKUS#IHATEHAIKUS#IHATEHAIKUS#IHATEHAIKUS#IHATEHAIKUS#IHATEHAIKUS#IHATEHAIKUS#IHATEHAIKUS#IHATEHAIKUS#IHATEHAIKUS#IHATEHAIKUS
242 · Mar 2024
Lust For Life
badwords Mar 2024
The music screeches
I'm in love
An idiot beseeches
A fitting glove

'Lust for life'
Iggy-Pop
David Bowie
Dance, no stop

'Lust for life'
He keeps sayin'
We keep swayin'
No strife

Alive and dead
'Monday', dead
Space, a 'head'
Reality, dread

Consigned
Back-track
Designed
Heart-attack

Free to 'feel'
A callous reel
Nothing 'real'
The raw deal
239 · Dec 2024
Absolution
badwords Dec 2024
I gave it all, for you
Nothing left to do
239 · Apr 21
Cookies
badwords Apr 21
They put my name on the box
but I don’t remember signing anything.

All I know is
the cookies smell familiar.
Like a Tuesday that never ended,
like the living room before the arguments
started showing up in the drapes.

They say they use real butter.
Small batches.
Heritage grains.
But I know
you can’t bake silence that warm
without a little blood in the dough.

The woman on the package is smiling
because she’s not allowed to scream.
Every wrinkle airbrushed to resemble trust.
Every crumb designed to disintegrate
just before you remember why you started chewing.

I keep eating.
Because what else is there?
Dinner was a voice memo.
Breakfast was a bookmark.
And no one texts first in this house.

There’s a flavor I can’t place—
something like
apology,
or static,
or being loved
by accident.

"Cookies.”
Now available wherever truth is sold
in resealable pouches.
238 · Apr 17
Like This
badwords Apr 17
She loves me.
She wants me to run.
Not away—
but through.

Through brush and bramble,
collecting spurs in my coat
like medals no one pinned.

She wants my tangles.
My matted fur.
The parts of me
I tried to groom into quiet.

She says,
“Bring it all.
Let it snarl.
Let it reek of survival.”

She doesn’t flinch
when I bare my teeth
without anger.

She knows the difference
between danger
and damage.

She doesn’t reach
to smooth me.
She walks beside me
and watches me shed.

And I think—
maybe this is what love is:
not a leash,
not a cage,
not a cure—

but a clearing
where I can pant,
live,
bleed,
and be seen.
237 · Jan 2024
5150
badwords Jan 2024
I need a vacation.
Grippy-Socks™ Included!
232 · Feb 2
Broken Mirror
badwords Feb 2
Leaving the mirror feels like walking out of a shadow,
You try to piece together the fragments,
Accepting they will never mirror you again.
Some might say it’s your fault,
But it feels like walking through life
With a quiet strength where there once was emptiness.
Solitude.
Acceptance.
Self-compassion.
Growth.
Patienc­e.
Stillness.
Gratitude.
Understanding.
Trusting your own reflection.
No longer seeking validation,
No longer seeing yourself in others.
The image was false,
But the truth is clearer now,
The quiet voice that was always there,
Unshaken.
The grief fades—
Not gone, but transformed.

Strength.
Awareness.
A new beginning.
~for Ghost

https://hellopoetry.com/poem/4968322/trauma-bond/

I wrote this in a style to mirror the framing of the original as closely as possible in solidarity for recounting my own experiences in a similar situation.


Broken Mirror explores the emotional journey of self-realization and healing following a toxic relationship. The poem reflects on the experience of losing a relationship that was built on validation rather than genuine connection, symbolized by the shattered mirror. The narrator, once dependent on external affirmation, finds themselves confronted with the stark emptiness left behind when that mirror is broken. As they struggle with feelings of solitude and grief, a quiet transformation begins, one that shifts from confusion to self-awareness.

Throughout the piece, the poem traces a movement from pain, isolation, and self-doubt toward acceptance, self-compassion, and ultimately empowerment. The narrative journey mirrors the internal process of healing, where the protagonist learns to stand on their own without relying on others for validation, embracing their true self amidst the fragments of the past. By the end of the poem, the narrator no longer seeks validation from external sources but instead discovers strength in their own reflection, marking the beginning of a new, more authentic chapter in their life.

The poet aims to capture the emotional complexity of a relationship defined by narcissistic dynamics, while also offering a hopeful perspective on self-reclamation. The poem invites readers to witness the pain of losing a validating reflection but also celebrates the transformative process of reclaiming one's true identity in the aftermath.
231 · Nov 2024
'Be Safe' by, The Cribs
badwords Nov 2024
One of those ******* awful black days
When nothing is pleasing and everything that happens
is an excuse for anger
An outlet for emotions stockpiled, an arsenal, an armour
These are the days when I hate the world
Hate the rich, hate the happy, hate the complacent, the TV watchers,
beer drinkers, the satisfied ones
Because I know I can be all of those little hateful things
And then I hate myself for realising that
There is no preventative, directive or safe approach for living.
We each know our own fate
We know from our youth how to be treated,
how we'll be received and how we shall end
These things don't change.
You can change your clothes,
change your hairstyle, your friends, cities, continents
But sooner or later your own self will always catch up.
Always it waits in the wings.
Ideas swirl but don't stick,
They appear but then run off like rain on the windshield.
One of those rainy day car rides, my head implodes,
the atmosphere in this car a mirror of my skull
Wet, damp, windows dripping and misted with cold
Walls of grey
Nothing good on the radio
Not a thought in my head

Be safe

I know a place we can go where you'll fall in
love so hard that you'll wish you were dead.

Lets take life and slow it down incredibly slow
Frame by frame
With two minutes that take ten years to live out
Yeah, lets do that.

Telephone poles like praying mantis against the sky
Metal arms outstretched
So much land traveled, so little sense made of it
It doesn't mean a thing all this land laid out behind us
I'd like to take off into these woods and get good and lost for a while
I'm disgusted with petty concerns; parking tickets, breakfast specials
Does someone just have to carry this weight?
Abstract topography, methane covenant, linear gospel,
Nashville sales lady, Stygian emissary, torturous lice, mad Elizabeth

Chemotherapy *******.

The light within me shines like a diamond mine
Like an unarmed walrus
Like a dead man face down on the highway
Like a snake eating its own tail, steam turbine, frog pond,
too full a closet burst open in disarray
Soap bubbles in the sun, hospital death bed, red convertible,
shopping list, *******, deaths head, devils dancing,
bleached white buildings, memory, movements
The movie unpeeling, unreeling, about to begin

I've seen your hallway, you're a dark hallway
I hear your stairs creak
I can fix my mind on your yes, and on your no
I'll film your face today in the sparkling canals
All red, yellow, blue, green brilliance and silver Dutch reflection
Racing thoughts, racing thoughts
All too real, you're moving so fast now I cant hold your image
This image I have of your face by the window,
me standing beside you arm on your shoulder
A catalogue of images, flashing glimpses then gone again
I'm tethered to this post you've sunk in me
And every clear afternoon now I'll think of you up in the air twisting your heel,
Your knees up around me, my face in your hair
You scream so well, your smile so loud, still rings in my ears.

I know a place we can go where you'll fall in
love so hard that you'll wish you were dead

Inhibition,
Distant, tired of longing
Cleaning my teeth
Stay the course.
Hold the wheel
Steer on to freedom
Open all the boxes
Open all the boxes
Open all the boxes
Open all the boxes

Times Square midday
Newspaper buildings, news headlines going around
You watch as they go, and hope there's some good ones
Those tree shadows in the park they're all whispering shakes and leaves
Around six pm, shadows across the cobblestones
Girl in front of a bathroom mirror
she slow and careful paints her face green and mask like
Like Matisse' portrait
with green stripe
Long shot through apartment window, a monologue on top but no girl in shot
The light within me shines like a diamond mine
like an unarmed walrus
like a dead man face down on the highway
Like a snake eating its own tail
A steam turbine, frog pond, too full a closet burst open in disarray,
soap bubbles in the sun, hospital death bed, red convertible, shopping list,
*******, deaths head, devils dancing,
bleached white buildings, memory, movements
The movie unreeling, about to begin
''Be Safe' by The Cribs. This needs to be added for posterity. It is the work that set fire to my heart to create, myself.

https://youtu.be/iwZ4TTSKZWY?si=WdQ6D1oMrNna1Ci8
231 · Feb 2024
Change
badwords Feb 2024
We have Dollar$
But, no sense
New Ep,, Holler
Existence

I hear the words
outside
Buy birds
Hide

Chemicals, down
The release
Reality, drown
Pain ceased

Anaesthetized
Feel, well
What a surprise
Static Hell
228 · Jul 2021
Oh Well
badwords Jul 2021
Once I fell
Into a well
Alone I languished
An extrinsic anguish
I lived in this hole
A hermit and mole
And I learned
And I earned
My peace, alone
badwords Nov 2024
When Donald Trump does a push-up, he pushes the earth away.
He counted to infinity, TWICE, all in one day!
The Boogeyman checks his closet for Trump each night,
For under his  ̶t̶o̶u̶p̶e̶e̶ ̶ TOTALLY LEGIT HAIR™  is another fist, ready to fight.

When he enters a room, darkness runs out in fear,
He can slam a revolving door, make silence appear.
He doesn’t sleep, he waits—he doesn’t blink, he stares,
And gravity bows when he takes the stairs.

When Donald Trump looks in the mirror, it shatters from awe,
He has no age; time itself is held by his law.
He’s the reason Waldo is always well-hidden,
In Trump’s world, rules are forbidden.

His tears cure cancer—too bad he never cries,
And every hand he’s dealt is aces in disguise.
Death once knocked on his door, then quickly fled—
For even the Grim Reaper fears Donald Trump instead.
#donaldtrump #maga #onlyalphamales #luxuriouslocksofgoldenhair #fruitsnamedafterpeople

https://ibb.co/h83xZxg
218 · Dec 2024
#1 Hades’ Lament
badwords Dec 2024
I was a king of feral dogs,
Teeth bared, a crown of scars.
I carved my throne in crimson tides,
But the echoes of my reign still mar.

In Nowheretown, a purgatory plain,
I lingered where the restless wane.
A crumbling strip, a dying breath,
This sanctuary—a slower death.

The Last Call clung to brittle glass,
A temple for the lives that pass.
Sticky floors, the dimmest light,
A shrine to shadows in the night.

And I, its keeper, silent stone,
The weight of all my sins my own.
I drank to drown the barking pack,
But the ghosts of harm still pulled me back.

She came in silk, in cold November,
A porcelain face I’d always remember.
Her ankh swung low, her steps were light,
And yet, she carried endless night.

“It’s time to go,” she said to me,
“You’ve paid enough; now come and see.
Where we go, your glass won’t dry,
And the weight you bear, we’ll leave behind.”

I nodded slow, no words to say,
For what is left when debts won’t pay?
Not perfect, no, but I did my best,
And to retire—to do no harm—was rest.

In fading glass and failing light,
I left the town to its quiet plight.
Not as a king, nor as a man,
But as a shadow who simply ran.

Through her embrace, the end began,
Not absolution, but a plan.
To do no harm, for good’s in vain—
To leave behind the beast, the chain.

And as the November winds do howl,
I fade into the eternal prowl.
A feral dog, at last set free,
From the ghosts of harm and memory.
218 · Jul 2023
Mom's Fridge
badwords Jul 2023
Hello, Hello Poetry
An Online Poetry Community™
A humble place to share
All those words you do care

Do mind our rules and the terms of use
Nothing 'offensive', please. Definitely, no abuse.
Submit a work to start and wait for a bot to reply
Sometimes this doesn't work. We still 'don't know why'

'Hello, Hello Poetry'
'To be a 'Poet'?! Surely, I can be!'
'Just mash the letter keys into rhyming words...'
'Less than zero potential for dog turds!'

'My magnum opus is so brilliant!'
No map, compass or sextant
'My first effort; a monument to laud'
'Mind the ovation and the accelerating, un-seated applause'

Hello, Hello Poetry
The troglodytes dwell in a festering hyperbole
Unsupportive support, it's the rule of the land
Any constructive feedback?; Let it be burned and ******!

'I wrote some things, I deserve praise!'
'Cross me not, lest the unlike sword of anonymity be raised!'
'The self-serving homogenization of mediocrity must be maintained!'
Of this, I have clearly (and notably) disdained...

Hello, Hello Poetry
The Internet's Bath-House for "Creativity"™
'Mom already hung it on the fridge--not good enough for me!'
'This "greatness" needs ALL the internet to see!'

To what end? Stranger's validation?
A legitimization of your station?
At what point is this *******?
In this self-agrandization?

*Hello Poet-Try™
badwords Jan 17
Jackie left on a cold, dark night
Telling me he'd be home
Sailed the seas for a hundred years
Left me all alone
Now, I've been dead for twenty years
I've been washing the sand
With my ghostly tears
Searching the shores for my Jackie-oh

And I remember the day that
The young man came
Said your Jackie's gone he's lost in the rain
And I ran to the beach
Laid me down
"You're all wrong", I said as they stared
To the sand, "That man knows that sea
Like the back of his hand, he'll be back
Some time, laughing at you"

I've been waiting all this time
For my man to come
Take his hand in mine
And lead me away to unseen shores
I've been washing the sand
With my salty tears
Searching the shores these long years
And I walked the sea forever more
Till I find my Jackie-oh

Jackie-oh
Jackie-oh
Jackie-oh
Jackie by Sinead O'Connor (covered by Placebo)

Sorry, this is the best recording I could find of Placebo preforming this song:

https://www.facebook.com/PlaceboAnyway/videos/placebo-jackie-mexico-2007/1547254138774195/

Check Out My HePo Mix-Tape:
https://hellopoetry.com/collection/135545/badwords-music-lyrics/

The Placebo cover of this Sinead O'Connor song originally appeared on a bonus disc with the special edition version of Sleeping with Ghosts on 22 September 2003 which has since gone out of print.
216 · Jan 26
The Rope On Fire
badwords Jan 26
#1:

Beneath the blackened vault of sky,
A rope descends—its fibers cry.
Through smoke and ash, it threads its way,
To acid pools where shadows lay.

Each rung, a tale of trembling lives,
Of toil that neither rests nor thrives.
The rope, alight with fire’s tongue,
Consumes the weak, ignites the young.

Above, the hands that built this plight,
Grip tight the wheel that feeds the night.
Their laughter stokes the burning air,
While voices plead through foul despair.

Yet down we go, the tether spins,
A vertical descent of sins.
The acid waits, a hungry maw,
To swallow hope, to feed its law.

And all who cling with trembling hand,
Fall rung by rung to molten land.
The rope unspools, a fatal thread—
A path to suffering, brightly fed.


#2:

They sit in towers, their hands adorned
With golden rings and hearts of scorn.
Beneath their feet, the world does churn—
Their fire, fed by all who burn.

The wheels they turn are made of steel,
But in their eyes, there’s none who feel.
For every spark, they claim it true,
A gift, a choice, for me, for you.

Their cries of justice mask the snare—
The rope descends; they’re unaware.
Or so they claim, their hearts made cold,
In search of more, and yet more gold.

They stoke the fire with lies so sweet,
Each word a chain beneath our feet.
Their words, like venom, fill the air—
Their wars, their work, their cruel affair.

From every ring and every crown,
They’ve forged the ropes that drag us down.
In sacred halls, they make their claim,
To build the world and stake their fame.

But in their eyes, the flicker dies—
The fire’s fed by endless lies.
Yet still, they turn the wheel of fate,
And laugh at all who beg for weight.


#3:

We stand in silence, eyes aglow,
Watching the rope as it twists low.
We pray, we hope, it stops its fall—
That this, at least, will not be all.

Each life, a thread upon the line,
Each breath, a dollar, a choice divine.
The rope, it burns—but we still wait,
Hoping the fire will slow its fate.

But deep inside, we know the truth—
The rope, the flame, the endless proof:
That those above, with hearts of stone,
Will never stop the fire’s throne.

Yet still we stand, as shadows grow,
Our voices hushed, our hearts all low.
We watch the rope, we feel the heat,
But never move our willing feet.

The acid rises, slow and sure—
We’re bound to burn, but still, we’re pure.
We’re innocent in mind and hand—
But broken souls will burn the land.

We sit, we wait, we dream and pray,
Hoping that the rope will fray.
But in the end, it’s not for us—
For none will care, and none will trust.


#4:

But in the flames, a voice did rise,
A crack, a scream, a sudden prize!
No longer bound by ropes of ash,
The burning souls began to lash.

The fire bites, the heat does sear,
But through the pain, they see the clear:
The rope, it does not need to burn—
The fire’s in our hands to turn.

The world is wrought with weight and woe,
But still, we fight, we fight to know
That we can break the ropes that bind,
We need not bow, we need not find.

In flames, the truth becomes our song—
The suffering’s never been so long.
But in the depths of fear and pain,
The rage emerges once again.

They’ve dragged us low, they’ve set the fire—
But now we rise, we rise—entire!
The rope may burn, the fire’s fed,
But not until we stand instead.

With burning eyes, we look below,
The fire’s rage, the endless woe.
Yet we stand firm, our hearts of steel,
To break the chain, to break the seal.

The fire does not cleanse—it burns,
But we, the flame, will twist and turn.
We light the dark with fire’s breath—
We fight the rope, we fight through death.


#5:

And then it came, the final blow,
The tipping point, the fire’s glow.
The rope, once taut, now snaps apart—
A breaking point, a beating heart.

We’ve seen the flames, we’ve felt the burn,
We’ve watched the world around us churn.
But now we stand, unbowed, unchained,
The years of suffering, unrestrained.

The fire’s thirst is never quenched,
The rope’s descent, forever clenched.
But in our hearts, a fire grows—
A flame that rises, fierce, it shows.

We tear the chains, we break the seal,
We know the fire’s rage is real.
But we are more, we are the flame—
We are the ones who will reclaim.

No longer bound by rope or flame,
No longer trapped in this cruel game.
We rise above, we tear the sky—
The ropes will burn, but we will fly.

In every tear, in every scream,
We carve the path to a new dream.
The rope may burn, the fire may rage,
But we are free, we’ve left the cage.


#6:

The rope, now burning, twists and snaps,
Its final thread begins to collapse.
No more a tether, no more a chain,
Its ash falls down like cleansing rain.

The acid pools, once hungry deep,
Now burn away the wounds we keep.
The flame, once fierce, now choked and still—
A hollow shell, a broken will.

We watch the wreck, the falling flame,
And know that all has been reclaimed.
No longer bound by fire’s grip,
No longer pulled by tyrants’ whip.

The operators fade from sight,
Their laughter gone, their grip of might.
For now we stand, the ropes undone—
A world remade beneath the sun.

The fire that scorched us into dust
Is quenched by courage, hope, and trust.
The rope has burned, but from the ash,
We rise—no more to bow or crash.

The future calls, its voice is clear,
A world reborn, a life sincere.
We break the chains, we free the sky—
The burning rope has passed us by.
*The Rope O Fire* is a long-form poem exploring the themes of systemic exploitation, the consequences of complacency, and the eventual rise of collective resistance. Drawing inspiration from William Blake’s rhythmic precision and striking imagery, the poem follows a metaphorical descent down a rope of suffering, a symbol of societal and economic oppression. The rope, burning and descending, represents the relentless cycle of exploitation, with each rung echoing the lives of those who toil at the bottom of the social and economic ladder.

The first section sets the stage, describing the rope’s descent into suffering, while the operators—those in power—are shown as detached, using their position to perpetuate harm. The poem moves through the stages of passive observation, followed by a call to action, culminating in a powerful moment of collective awakening where the oppressed recognize their agency and the potential to reshape their fate.

The final sections bring forth the breaking of the rope, symbolizing the destruction of systemic oppression and the reclamation of power by the people. Through vivid metaphors and relentless rhythm, the poem emphasizes the cyclical nature of exploitation and the possibility for transformation through collective will and unity.

At its core, *The Rope On Fire* is a call to action, a message of hope in the face of despair, urging the reader to break free from passivity and to actively dismantle the systems that seek to oppress and exploit.
216 · Jan 19
I'm Sorry.
badwords Jan 19
I run away.
“When the going gets tough,
The tough get going.”
But this was never what it meant.

I run away.
When struggles rise,
The so-called tough
Find answers, not alibis.

I run away.
I see it clear—
The same old patterns
Etched like black
On white veneer.

I’ve failed each time
To sell the truth,
To live the words
I’ve sold as proof.

Oblivious,
Self-absorbed,
A shallow star
On a fading course.

I am alone.
The crop I reap
Is born from seeds
I buried deep.

I seek no grace,
No pity, no balm—
Only to show
The harm I’ve done.

This is no plea
For some reprieve,
But a reckoning—
The pain I weave.

An apology—
To lay these tools,
This sad refrain,
This harm, to rest.

A truce to hold,
A call to mend,
No absolution,
But an end.
213 · Jan 2023
Tired Eyes
badwords Jan 2023
I'm met again, with those same tired eyes
My scheduled appearance makes no surprise
Just a couple of rounds after work, never a fuss
Only wasting time, waiting for my bus

I consider you in ways you would never concieve
Your tone, body language, everything I perceive
Is that your heart truly worn on your sleeve?
I sum it up. Again, I make my leave

These vessels, opaque as glass
Clamouring forwards, eager to pass
Disconnected, this forest has no trees
Aside from a rare 'Thank you' or 'Please'

And here we are, all the lot of us
Odiferous strangers, sharing a bus
Taking us where we want or need to be
If only we'd stop and see
Real talk though; 'What if God Was One of Us?' xD
213 · Jan 2023
The BIG Fish
badwords Jan 2023
Everyday I cast my line
No expectations, killing time
It's what I do under my big Oak tree
No interruptions just nature and me

Same ole pond, different day
I get a bite in a furious way!
Rod creeks, line spools!
"I'm equipped with amateur's tools!"

The rod is bending, it might break
"How much more of this can I take?!"
Muscles burning
Every inch, an earning

Almost there; the rod gives crash!
With a net & knife; in I splash!
This behemoth of no renown
Lurking just outside my home!

A war is fought: Man against Fish
One of us is walking out of here--the other; a dish
The sun was low in the sky
When I dragged my prize to land dry

It was the talk of the town for years
So many free beers
But, time aches on
Not oft now do I hear that song
Of, me & "The Big One"

Time sometimes moves slow, then all of a sudden; fast!
Too often I spend on things past
I miss that big, fishy *******
I wish he could have gotten in the last word
I miss our day of fun
210 · Mar 30
Engulf
badwords Mar 30
I was born beneath a stovetop sermon,
raised on smoke and the echo of “just like him.”
She lit the burner,
called it love,
then blamed the fire when I blistered.

I learned early:
affection has teeth.
That mirrors are weapons
if someone else gets to hold the frame.

So I went looking—
not for love,
but for permission.
To be, without revision.
To feel, without rehearsal.

And they came,
each with open arms
and blueprints in their back pockets.
They didn’t say change.
They said better.
They meant less.

I gave what I could,
which was always everything.
And when that wasn’t enough—
I gave the shape of myself too.

But still I stood.
Not clean. Not cured.
Just standing.
Wobbly maybe, but mine.

Now, here—again—
I feel the heat in the glance,
the tremor in the words:
"Don’t idealize me."
But isn’t that the perfect bait?

Still, I stay.
Still, I watch.
Because I’ve learned to name the difference
between a flame and a forge.

I am not the boy at the stove anymore.
I am the man with the match—
and the scars to prove
I know when to walk away
and when to burn with purpose.

So if I burn now,
it will not be in silence.
It will not be for someone else’s comfort.

It will be because I chose
to stand in the fire
as myself,
and finally,
stay.
Engulf is a raw, introspective free verse poem that explores the psychological weight of childhood trauma, the complexities of romantic relationships shaped by formative wounds, and the slow journey toward self-reclamation. The speaker reflects on being cast in the shadow of a parent’s unresolved resentment, inheriting emotional roles not of their own making. This early dynamic becomes a foundation for a series of adult relationships in which affection is offered only on the condition of transformation—of becoming someone safer, more malleable, more convenient.

Using fire as a recurring metaphor—both as danger and as forge—the poem charts a movement from vulnerability to clarity. The speaker recognizes a lifelong tendency to over-invest, to seek validation at the cost of self, and ultimately, to mistake manipulation for intimacy. Rather than arriving at a dramatic ******, Engulf builds toward quiet resolve: the decision to stand in one’s own fire, no longer shaped by external blueprints, no longer asking permission to exist as is.

In Engulf, the author confronts the cyclical nature of emotional projection and internalized identity distortion. The poem serves as both personal reckoning and a broader commentary on how unresolved familial dynamics often echo into adult relationships. Rather than casting blame, the piece investigates the subtle ways in which individuals are conditioned to compromise their authenticity in pursuit of love and acceptance.

The poet's intent is not to moralize or to position the speaker as a victim, but to depict a moment of awakening: a realization that authenticity, though difficult and often lonely, is preferable to the ongoing erosion of self. With restrained emotional language and clear metaphorical resonance, Engulf offers a nuanced perspective on healing—not as a destination, but as a commitment to remain whole in the face of recurring patterns.
badwords Feb 18
You snort at the sword, at the sabre’s grace,
Turn from the art of the strike, the feint—
Call it pretense, call it restraint,
but some beasts grunt where men engrain.

A boar’s tusk slashes, crude and mean,
quick as a thrash, dull as a scream.
It wins mud brawls, not campaigns,
leaves gashes, but never names.

You think the sword takes patience, fear?
That form is shackles, weight severe?
But steel that sings was forged to last,
and skill, not slop, makes deep wounds fast.

See, butchers love their brutal art,
blade to sinew, meat to cart.
A tusk, it tears, it ruts, it chews—
but lacks the hands for sharper use.

So charge fast, strike low, gore deep—
but tell me, when your blade runs steep,
did you sever thought from bone,
or only flail where swords are honed?
200 · Dec 2024
Curation
badwords Dec 2024
A careful hand, threading tracks like beads—
Each song a thread, a whisper's need.
A heart's collage of static noise,
Crafted hopes, hushed joys and poise.

The clack of play, the tape unwinds,
A story spooled in stops and binds.
“Listen,” it pleads, though words are few,
This mix, this bridge, from me to you.

In loops and fades, confessions spun,
The things unsaid, yet softly sung.
A borrowed voice, an unseen tear,
Echoes bound by magnetic smear.

Pressed to palm, the gift exchanged,
A quiet pact, a world arranged.
Between the hiss, in tapes grown worn,
A fleeting now, forever sworn.
Check out my HePo mixtape:

https://hellopoetry.com/collection/135545/badwords-music-lyrics/

A soundscape in words, lyrics and music that have shaped my writing.
199 · Feb 2022
Temperance
badwords Feb 2022
I pour the wine
Into the weaker glass
A moment in time
Fleeting, passed

I am surrounded by you
Us, alone
Comforts are few
Happiness, a home

I share what's mine
Returned in same
I cherish the time
A spark, a flame

Just you & me
In it together
Twins, siamese
Incliment weather

****** and crowns
Rule the stage
Profit on frowns
This day in age

You are my peace
The panderous riot
Fame for lease
My moment of quiet
badwords Apr 29
a triptych in ruin, reckoning, and return

I. The Pathology: I Knew It Would Burn

I wasn’t fooled.
Don’t you dare think I was.
I saw the warning signs in neon,
flickering like a ******* motel vacancy light.
And I checked in anyway.

The first night we met,
I tasted the voltage on her tongue.
She was a live wire wrapped in silk,
a hand grenade with a pulse.
I knew her pathology before I knew her name.

And when her ex called—
the good man, the one who tried to warn me—
I listened.
I heard everything.
And then I turned the volume down,
lit a candle, and said
“Let me try loving her differently.”

She love-bombed like a war criminal.
Doted like a spider weaves silk.
Told me I was everything
until I couldn’t remember what “nothing” felt like.

But I signed the contract in blood.
I wanted the devotion,
even if it came from a burning church.
I wanted to be chosen,
even if the crown was made of barbed wire.

There was a beauty to the ruin.
A heat.
Not the warmth of comfort—but the fever of infection.

She did not take me.
I offered.
Piece by piece,
like petals to a pyre.
Not for her approval—
but for the beauty of the burning.

Her touch was never tender.
But it lingered.
Like perfume on skin
long after the body has left the bed.

And I let it linger.

There were nights
her name sat in my mouth like a foreign prayer—
something I didn’t believe in
but whispered anyway,
just to feel it echo.

She was all cliff-edge and velvet.
All pulse and warning.
And I was the fool who mistook vertigo for flight.

What I loved was never her.
It was the losing.
The falling.
The moment just before the break
where everything was possible,
and none of it was mine.

Even now,
when I exhale too sharply,
I swear I can still taste
the ash of her vows.


II. The Penance: Surviving Myself

I did not crawl from a wreck.
I drifted from a husk—
a ship split open on an invisible reef.

The salt never left my mouth.
I wore it like a relic,
like the tongue of an ancestor who forgot how to pray.

The sky was a torn sail above me.
The days, barnacled and dragging.
The nights, stitched with the faint cries of animals
who had long since turned to bone.

There was no triumph in this exodus.
Only the dull ceremony of walking:
foot after foot across a landscape
stitched from broken compasses and cracked ribs.

Sometimes I mistook the ruins for myself.
Laid my head against the stones and called them home.
Listened for heartbeat in hollowed things.

Forgiveness wasn’t offered.
It was harvested—
thorn by thorn,
from fields salted by my own hands.

She was never the architect.
She was the wind that found the cracks.
I was the tower already leaning,
the bells already rusted silent.

In my quieter hours,
I built altars out of what remained—
splinter, ash, a few stubborn stars
refusing to fall.

There are still nights
I dream of being swallowed whole.
There are still mornings
where my breath smells of shipwrecks.

But there is something now—
something that does not beg or howl or vanish.

A new silence,
dense and gold-veined,
growing in the hollows she left behind.


Interlude— In the Hollow Between

No one told me
the silence would be so loud.

That after the storm
there would be no sun,
only fog thick as milk
curling through my lungs.

I did not beg for light.
I did not curse the dark.
I simply sat—
hands open,
palms salted with memory.

There was a moth once
that lived in my chest.
Fed on echo,
slept in shame.
I haven’t felt it in days.

I think I may be alone now.

And for the first time—
that does not terrify me.


III. The Passage: From Fire to Form

I did not rise.
I unburied.

Fingernail by fingernail,
from beneath the collapsed arches of who I thought I was.

There was no anthem.
Only the slow recognition
that the sky still ached for me,
even after I forgot how to look up.

And there—
in the first true clearing,
where the ashes no longer smoked but simply were
stood a figure.

Not a savior.
Not a siren.
Not a cure.

A mirror, carried in human hands.
A lighthouse, burning not with rescue, but with recognition.


She did not find me.
I found myself,
and there she was—
already waiting.

Not as prize,
but as witness.
Not to my ruin,
but to the slow architecture
of something holy rising from it.

She touched my hand, once.
Lightly.
And the earth did not tremble.
I did not fall.

Instead, the bones beneath my skin hummed
with the strange, quiet music
of being known—and still free.

I realized then:
I had not been climbing out of the past to reach her.
I had been climbing to reach myself.

She simply stood at the gates,
smiling like someone who had seen the stars rebuild themselves before.
196 · Sep 2023
Mausoleum
badwords Sep 2023
Entombed in these scripts
Are countless lists
A chain of 'wants'
Self-inflicted torture daunts

And the mind grows colder
Reiteration. Older, bolder.
Perhaps not wiser
Affection? A miser.

Grey matter glistens, clean
Wrinkle-less, pure.
Elect the means
Analytics astir

You are already dead
Bought, sold and traded
Ukulele is the dread
A modicum so faded

There's a twang of a string
It brings great reckoning
And down below
We observe the show

And know we know;
'How to think"
195 · Dec 2024
Luck
badwords Dec 2024
A rigged game for losers
Who like to win
I enjoyed the conciseness of the previous write. reflecting upon it again today, it read like a lyric. I decided to try to write a song out of a collection of short poems one verse at a time.

Previous: https://hellopoetry.com/poem/4925923/consequence/

Don't worry, I still hate haikus!
192 · Nov 2024
'Unliked Modernity'
badwords Nov 2024
I’ve yearned for your Wi-Fi touch,
But the signal’s out of range.

Time doesn’t crawl; it sprints by—
Another season, another lie.
Are you still online?

I need your likes,
I need your swipe.
Algorithm, bring your love to me.

Lonely pixels flow,
Through the cloud, through the cloud,
To the infinite void of the cloud, yeah.

Lonely profiles sigh,
“Notice me, notice me,”
I’m DMing you, notice me.

Oh, my love, my darling,
I’ve craved, craved your virtual touch,
But the data cap’s so high.

Time isn’t slow—it’s gone.
And memories can do so much,
Were you ever mine?

I need your views,
I need your shares.
God bless the bots who care.
Fren kinda took the wheel here. Good Fren:

This satirical reimagining of Unchained Melody, titled 'Unliked Modernity', is a poignant critique of the digital age’s impact on love and human connection. It juxtaposes the yearning, raw emotion, and sincerity of the original song with the shallow, transactional nature of contemporary relationships often mediated through technology.

In this work, love is no longer a soulful, timeless connection but an algorithm-driven exchange of likes, swipes, and fleeting attention. By substituting “touch” with “Wi-Fi touch” and re-contextualizing rivers as "pixels" flowing into the "infinite void," the piece lampoons the reduction of profound emotions into data streams and virtual interactions.

The artist’s intent is to highlight the absurdity and emptiness often found in modern relationships shaped by social media and digital platforms. It mocks the commodification of intimacy, where connections are evaluated not on depth but on metrics—likes, views, and shares. The line “God bless the bots who care” encapsulates the satire, as even artificial entities offer a form of validation in this bleak, detached landscape.

While sardonic, the piece also invites reflection: Is this the future of love? Are we trading meaningful relationships for hollow interactions? The reimagined song transforms the original's heartfelt longing into a mirror reflecting society’s obsession with appearances and its disconnect from genuine emotional bonds.
badwords Jan 1
So this is the new year
And I don't feel any different
The clanking of crystal
Explosions off in the distance
In the distance
So this is the new year
And I have no resolutions
Or self assigned penance
For problems with easy solutions
So everybody put your best suit or dress on
Let's make believe that we are wealthy for just this once
Lighting firecrackers off on the front lawn
As thirty dialogues bleed into one
I wish the world was flat like the old days
Then I could travel just by folding a map
No more airplanes, or speed trains, or freeways
There'd be no distance that could hold us back
There'd be no distance that could hold us back
There'd be no distance that could hold us back
So this is the new year
So this is the new year
So this is the new year
So this is the new year
The New Year by Death Cab for Cutie:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NSgHGFuPNus

Check Out My HePo Mix-Tape:
https://hellopoetry.com/collection/135545/badwords-music-lyrics/

So, this is the new year... *I don't feel any different*

Bit of an update here. I don't expect to be as active here for at least the foreseeable future. I'm moving out of state in a couple of weeks with a lot of the details to still be resolved. Once I get that all sorted out, I hope to have time to get a few of my creative projects off the ground. I look forwards to dropping in from time to time to enjoy all the amazing things you all write.

*There'd be no distance that could hold us back*

Be well,
badwords
189 · Jul 2023
Yours and Yours, Alone.
badwords Jul 2023
Your struggle is yours
And yours, alone
A cacophony of chores
Relationships, atone?

A cycle to the brink
A played sum, a conundrum
Infinite noise to think and think
The dull beats of a dumb-drum

And you wish it
As hard as you can
And you miss it
With every falling stand

And you see now
At the beginning
And understand how
There is no 'winning'

Just losing ground

I rest now, far away from 'home'
Incredible distance  from the human 'race'
A final shelter of solace, to be alone
The void of the negative space
186 · Feb 14
The Captain’s Mark
badwords Feb 14
I swore myself a roving man,
A tempest, free of charted sand.
No port, no queen, no claim, no chain—
Yet still, she called, and still, I came.

Her hook was quick, her lure was keen,
A siren’s snare of silk unseen.
She whispered myths of wicked gold,
And so, I knelt—was bought, was sold.

A single patch to shade my sight,
To blind the wrongs, to frame the right.
Then two, then three—by my own hand,
Till all the world was black as land.

Her parrots perched upon my back,
Squawking truths I’d not attack.
“Loyal hands should grip the mast,
And take the keel both first and last.”

I took the brace, I took the blow,
I let her mark me down below.
A willing brace, a wooden stand,
A peg well fit to her command.

I’d tell myself I’d steal away,
Yet still, I’d bow, yet still, I’d stay.
For even now, I taste the brine—
And miss the rope that made me blind.
185 · Nov 2024
Remorse
badwords Nov 2024
Killer who cares
Suicide of dreams
Offer blank stares
"Know what it means!"

I have to shout!
When you won't hear
I must walk out
You slay what's dear

You built this place
You burnt it down
Confused, your face
Why I'm not around

You are growing
That is very swell
I am here showing
Your empty well

Slashed and burned
Salted the earth
Joy you have earned
But us? A dearth

Our world's casualty?
I feel this remorse...
If this you too can't see
Words have no course
Synopsis with Artist's intent as requested:

Remorse reflects the painful awareness and acceptance of a fractured relationship's reality, capturing the speaker's disappointment, frustration, and ultimate resolution.

In this piece, the speaker confronts a partner who repeatedly invalidated and failed them, despite opportunities for growth and change. There’s a sense of betrayal woven through lines like, "Killer who cares / Suicide of dreams," illustrating a partner who seems apathetic to the harm they’ve caused. The choice to portray remorse as a double-edged feeling—both directed toward the partner and reflective of the speaker’s own regret—suggests an internal struggle to move past something significant but irreparably damaged.

The line "I have to shout! / When you won't hear" highlights the speaker’s sense of isolation in this dynamic, emphasizing the frustration of unreciprocated effort. Despite witnessing moments of the partner's progress, expressed in, "You are growing / That is very swell," there is an underlying sadness. This growth, while positive, feels superficial or irrelevant to the speaker's own sense of hurt, captured in the line, "Your empty well," indicating emotional exhaustion and a lack of genuine reciprocity.

The closing stanzas convey a resigned understanding that while both individuals may grow and change, they cannot find resolution together. In the phrase "Words have no course," the speaker acknowledges the finality of the separation, where even conversation cannot mend what’s broken.

In summary, Remorse is a piece of acceptance and sorrow, underscoring that while personal growth is possible, the bond between the speaker and the partner is too damaged to continue. It’s a final gesture of understanding and letting go, even as both continue on separate paths of transformation.
185 · Apr 26
Dust Forgets
badwords Apr 26
dust forgets the footprints it holds
stars bleed themselves dry for nothing
and still, we sing.

we sing with broken voices
through neon that buzzes its last apology
through gravity that pulls and lets go like tired hands.

we sing because the mirror lies,
because the air tastes of plastic prayers,
because the dreams are old enough to crumble when touched.

we sing for the ghost casinos,
for the red velvet burnouts,
for the craters we once thought were gardens.

we sing not for remembrance,
not for mercy,
but for the small, aching pleasure
of being real
in a world built of reflections.

the lights flicker.
the neon dies.
the song drifts
into the empty dark
like a spark too small to see —
but still, it burns.

and for once,
that is enough.
(for Sarah Glover, last singer of Mars)

https://hellopoetry.com/poem/5044822/the-last-song-on-mars/
badwords Feb 11
Sunrise, sunset, sunrise, sunset
Swiftly go the days
Sunrise, sunset, you wake up then you undress
It always is the same
The Sun rise and the Sun sets
You're lying while you confess
Keep trying to explain
The Sun rise and the Sun sets
You realize, then you forget
What you've been trying to retain

But everybody knows it's all about the things
That get stuck inside of your head
Like the songs your roommate sings
Or a vision of her body as she stretches out on your bed

You raise her hands in the air
Ask her "When was the last time you looked in the mirror?
'Cause you've changed
Yeah, you've changed"

Sun rise, the Sun sets
You're hopeful, then you regret
The circle never breaks

With a sunrise and sunset
There's a change of heart or address
Is there nothing that remains?

For a sunrise or a sunset
You're manic or you're depressed
Will you ever feel ok?

For a sunrise or a sunset
Your lover is an actress
Did you really think she'd stay?

For a sunrise or a sunset
You're either coming or you just left
But you're always on the way

Towards a sunrise or a sunset
A scribble or a sonnet
They are really just the same

To the sunrise or the sunset
The master and his servant
Have exactly the same fate

It's a sunrise and a sunset
From a cradle to a casket
There is no way to escape

The sunrise or the sunset
Hold your sadness like a puppet
Keep putting on the play

But everything you do is leading to the point
Where you just won't know what to do
And the moment that you're laughing
There is someone there who will be laughing louder than you
So it's true, the trick is complete
You've become everything you said you never would be
You're a fool, you're a fool

Sunrise, sunset, sunrise, sunset
Sunrise and the Sun sets
Sunrise, sunset, the sunrise, the sun sets
Sun rise, the Sun sets
Sunrise, sunset, go home to your apartment
Put the cassette in the tape deck
And let that fever play
Sunrise, sunset, where are you, Arienette?
Where are you, Arienette?
Sunrise, Sunset. by Bright Eyes

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1aSXYNt8udc

Check Out My HePo Mix-Tape:
https://hellopoetry.com/collection/135545/badwords-music-lyrics/
184 · Jan 2024
What is Love?
badwords Jan 2024
Love? Is senseless abandon.
Love, is bicycles, tandem.
One person, climbing a *****.
The other owns the rope.

Love is compromise.
The unwelcome surprise.
A construct of lies.
For purpose, we try.

Love is commerce.
Watching a hearse.
Everything you lost.
The total of the cost.

Love is blindness.
Brief notions of kindness.
Tragedy, behind us.
An obligatory must.

Love is slavery.
Elected misery.
A contract to not be free.
We submit, voluntarily.

This is the last time.
She walked out that door.
My reasons, mine.
She asks for more.

I wish her well.
The desired hell.
A flippant subscription.
Greener-grass perscription.

An insipid dance rhythm ignites.
Contrasting all our fights.
I turn and I speak,
The words come weak;

"Baby, don't hurt me"
"No more"
And everyone loses their collective ***** all at once!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HEXWRTEbj1I
183 · Jul 2021
Abate
badwords Jul 2021
I wrap my hands
upon my skull
no if or ands
the answer droll
like a tumor
some sick rumor
like a fact
a heart turned black
you're with him again
when will this end?
181 · Aug 2023
Applause
badwords Aug 2023
The Crowd rises
A standing ovation ensues
You've won your "prizes"
Now, payment is due

If you write without loss
Then there is nary a cost
If you write from pain
It all sounds the same

If you write for truth & beauty
If writing is your duty
If the words won't cease
No sleep, no release

When it all comes in too fast
Future hopes, moments past
When words are a blur
And listless, we stir

Racing. Racing. Racing.

Faster, harder, better, more strong
A place where we never belong
In each death, I write a song
Against the cacophony of the throng

Less is more
(More or less)
Allow the future you behest
Worry not for the 'test'
Of creativity in arrest

Write Good Words.
181 · Feb 18
A Kingdom of Suns
badwords Feb 18
They never strike the blade from your hand.
They never meet you where the blood pools.
They only grant you light, gilded and empty,
a gift too bright to argue with.

A kingdom of suns,
where silence is spun into gold,
where thrones need no defense—
only a gesture, a coin, a radiant nod.

What is the cost of a word?
Too high, it seems, when silence is cheaper.
Too high, when a favor is weight enough
to press down on the voice that dared.

Not all power is steel.
Some is mercy so thick it suffocates,
a kindness that quiets the inconvenient,
a hand so gentle it becomes a shroud.

And so, the poet is honored,
draped in warmth,
wrapped in reverence,
buried alive.
You can keep your sun

https://hellopoetry.com/poem/4985305/good-poets-are-cult-leaders/

A Kingdom of Suns is a contemplative and subtly critical poem that explores the dynamics of power, silence, and the ways in which authority dismisses dissent without direct confrontation. The poem delves into the notion of praise as erasure—how symbolic gestures of approval can sometimes serve as a tool to neutralize critique rather than engage with it.

The poem’s central metaphor, a "kingdom of suns," represents a realm where discourse is not met with counterarguments, but instead with golden, untouchable acknowledgment. This suggests a form of power that is less about outright suppression and more about strategic indifference—a recognition so grand that it becomes a dismissal in itself.

The piece questions the cost of words in spaces where silence is more convenient, highlighting how a well-placed favor, rather than an argument, can be enough to quiet a challenge. The poet’s intent is not to attack any single individual but to explore a larger pattern in artistic and intellectual discourse, where perceived generosity can sometimes function as a passive form of control.

Through restrained yet piercing language, A Kingdom of Suns challenges the reader to consider:

When is approval a genuine act of support, and when is it a tool of disengagement?
How does power respond to critique—not with resistance, but with a smile too radiant to oppose?
What happens when the most effective way to dismiss a voice is to praise it into silence?
This work stands as an exploration of authority, artistic validation, and the subtleties of rhetorical power, asking whether true engagement can exist in spaces where gestures replace dialogue
179 · Sep 2024
A Phoenix in Doubt
badwords Sep 2024
Driving light, welcome splendor,
Eternal fight, radiant tender—
Gavel of shadow, a dark fist,
Ignorant hope, dismissed.

Youth, ephemeral fire,
Distractions, desire,
Carrot, stick; baited,
'Destiny'; we waited.

Ash, born anew,
Tired stories askew,
Knowledge ignored,
'Self' sold in stores.

In doubt, I find a shifting ground,
Where voices crack, but truth is found.

I stand between the joy and sorrow,
A witness to a strange tomorrow.
The self I knew fades into air,
What I become, I'm not yet aware.
A work collaborated with both a mentor and fellow pupil.
179 · Dec 2024
Outside
badwords Mar 2
Who, if not I, shall drag this weary art from the grave?
Who, if not I, shall stitch its tattered lungs and bid it breathe?
The rest of them—dullards, clowns, worshippers of hollow verse—
they scribble in their mediocrity, praising each other’s drool
as if genius were a group activity.

But I—oh, I—am the last flicker of divinity left in this sorry world.
A benevolent god, bestowing clarity where there is only fog.
My kindness—a gift—a burden, even!
For what is it to be kind, when one is so vastly beyond
the scrawling masses?

Oh, how exhausting it is to save poetry
while balancing the delicate weight of my own madness.
How tragic, how noble, how unbearably beautiful
to suffer for a world that cannot grasp my suffering.

Yes, yes—I see the whispers in their eyes,
the adoration curled in their reluctant praise.
They know, as I know, as the gods themselves must know,
that without my hand, my vision, my voice—
poetry would collapse into dust, and no one would even notice.

And yet, I persist.
I give, endlessly, despite the torment of being the only one
who truly understands.

Because if not I—who?
Ode to the Last Poet Alive presents itself as both an exaltation and a condemnation—a self-aware, narcissistic manifesto draped in the language of divine suffering. It is a work that simultaneously embraces and ridicules the archetype of the tortured artist, exposing the inherent absurdity of self-mythologization while reveling in it.

The poem’s voice is that of a figure who sees themselves as poetry’s final savior, burdened with genius and afflicted by an intelligence so keen that it isolates rather than elevates. The speaker’s inflated self-perception is not just a symptom of narcissism but also a symptom of existential despair—the knowledge that one’s work may be the last of its kind, unrecognized and underappreciated in a world of mediocrity.

The tone is mock-heroic, borrowing the grandeur of romantic odes and tragic epics while exaggerating their most indulgent tendencies. The structure is one of increasing self-deification, following a progression from reluctant savior to outright godhood, only to return to the fundamental, tragic paradox: the world does not deserve the poet, yet the poet cannot abandon the world.

The choice of phrasing, with lines like "Oh, how exhausting it is to save poetry," carries an affected weariness, a deliberate overperformance of suffering that teeters between genuine artistic anguish and melodramatic self-indulgence. It reads as both an assertion and a confession: to be this brilliant is not a gift but a burden.

A parody of the "misunderstood genius" trope—lampooning the self-importance of poets who believe themselves to be singular forces of artistic salvation.
A genuine reflection on the isolating nature of artistic creation—suggesting that perhaps, even in jest, there is a kernel of truth in the feeling of bearing artistic responsibility in a world that does not care.
The final lines—“Because if not I—who?”—encapsulate the paradox at the heart of the poem. It is both a rhetorical question and an unshakable belief. The speaker is aware of their own ridiculousness, yet cannot fully reject their conviction.

At its core, Ode to the Last Poet Alive is an exercise in narcissistic self-awareness. It asks:

Does the poet suffer because they are truly the last great one, or because they need to believe they are?
Is this grandeur an affectation, or the only way to justify the weight of artistic pursuit?
By embracing its own excess, the poem refuses to give a clean answer. It is both mockery and manifesto, both a jest and a lament, and in that duality, it finds its truest voice.
badwords Jan 14
Have you got colour in your cheeks?
Do you ever get that fear that you can't shift the type
That sticks around like summat in your teeth?
Are there some aces up your sleeve?
Have you no idea that you're in deep?
I've dreamt about you nearly every night this week
How many secrets can you keep?
'Cause there's this tune I found
That makes me think of you somehow an' I play it on repeat
Until I fall asleep, spillin' drinks on my settee

(Do I wanna know?) If this feelin' flows both ways?
(Sad to see you go) Was sorta hopin' that you'd stay
(Baby, we both know) That the nights were mainly made
For sayin' things that you can't say tomorrow day

Crawlin' back to you
Ever thought of callin' when
You've had a few?
'Cause I always do
Maybe I'm too
Busy bein' yours
To fall for somebody new
Now, I've thought it through
Crawlin' back to you

So have you got the guts?
Been wonderin' if your heart's still open
And if so, I wanna know what time it shuts
Simmer down an' pucker up, I'm sorry to interrupt
It's just I'm constantly on the cusp of tryin' to kiss you
But I don't know if you feel the same as I do
But we could be together if you wanted to

(Do I wanna know?) If this feelin' flows both ways?
(Sad to see you go) Was sorta hopin' that you'd stay
(Baby, we both know) That the nights were mainly made
For sayin' things that you can't say tomorrow day

Crawlin' back to you (Crawlin' back to you)
Ever thought of callin' when
You've had a few? (Had a few)
'Cause I always do ('Cause I always do)
Maybe I'm too (Maybe I'm too busy)
Busy bein' yours (Bein' yours)
To fall for somebody new
Now, I've thought it through
Crawlin' back to you

(Do I wanna know?) If this feelin' flows both ways?
(Sad to see you go) Was sorta hopin' that you'd stay
(Baby, we both know) That the nights were mainly made
For sayin' things that you can't say tomorrow day
(Do I wanna know?) Too busy bein' yours to fall
(Sad to see you go) Ever thought of callin', darlin'?
(Do I wanna know?) Do you want me crawlin' back to you?
Crawling Back to You by Arctic Monkeys

https://youtu.be/bpOSxM0rNPM

Check Out My HePo Mix-Tape:
https://hellopoetry.com/collection/135545/badwords-music-lyrics/
177 · Dec 2022
Bed
badwords Dec 2022
Bed
"Just go to bed"
The back of my mind is reeling
"It's like being dead"
That unshakable feeling

Rest.
Sleep.
Death.
Keep.

I can't Sleep anymore
I'm too tired
I've said this before
I am mired

I hurts to be awake
So much at stake
A feeling I can't shake
I'm about to break


In the morning I wake


The poison won't let me die
Too much product to commodify
Profit comes from those who live
Anything ese gets the shivv

Does anyone care about anyone anymore?
Or are we sick reflections of what we adore?
Doomed in eternity, forevermore
Pathetic attentions shored
177 · Dec 2024
'Refrain'
badwords Dec 2024
I bleed, I lose, I see, I stand.
A cycle etched in shifting sand.
175 · Oct 2024
Crying Wolf
badwords Oct 2024
The lonely wolf cries
Clouds, Moon's Disguise
A hallowed howl
Atmospheric cowl

A lupine loneliness
Lunar moots amiss
Un-conjoined, the pair
Wailing into the air

Blinded but, not deaf
Luna, stymied, bereft
Baying into the night
A kin without her light

The mother of all ages
Whiteness, untold stages
She weeps once more
From her distant shore

Her love; absolute
Yet, from far away
Conviction; resolute
Interruptions of strays

She hears them crying
From her distance
Not for her trying
Occluded assistance

The wolves weep
And the Moon weeps
For what is in-between.
There is more than one way to 'cry wolf'
175 · Feb 2021
Daughter
badwords Feb 2021
"What do you do with a wayward daughter"
Here said a mother to a father
"What do you do with a child of *****?"
Eyes run from top to bottom

Sirens wail
Litmus tale
Identities fail
Excuses flail

"What do you do with a child of the sun?"
"Light pouring down to kingdom com"
"What do you so with a child of the moon?"
"Pale light of truth, gone too soon"

"What do you do with two together?"
A couple in stormy weather
A dream light as a feather
Love burdened with no tether

"What do you do once it's all gone?"
Cherubim circling, singing our song
"Where will I be without you and me?"
Echoes of silence above the raging sea
badwords Feb 17
He knew he wasn't perfect
But he always did his best to get under the surface
Not a saint, not a serpent
He just wanted everyone to be impressed with him as a person
So when she came along with the sunbeam
Self-esteem stopped making nothing outta somethings
Leaving the scene was unseen, I mean
It was the first time he ever felt the need to keep the gun clean

Do the math
He knew he had to choose a path
Gotta get that girl, gotta make her laugh
Gotta shake the past and move forwards
Gotta make this last, it feels gorgeous
But she had a lover in the mid-west
Never figured out how to get him off her thick chest
Just like that everything is gone
He didn't wanna but he had to learn the words so he could sing along

Everything is all I have to give you
And I'm afraid it ain't enough
And you're not so young that you believe me
Just because I say it's love
And even if they come to steal you tomorrow
I'll know my smile was yours
Go ahead and chase your dreams and your freedom
Run, run wild wild horses

You can't tame these horses
You can't tame these horses, no
You can't tame these horses
You can't tame these horses

Sometimes it can be so nice, right?
Sometimes she feel herself turn into the wife-type
And when it's dark, sometimes is the nightlife
But most of the time she doesn't even feel lifelike
She got a man but he thinks he's a star
And it feels like she has to compete with the bar
She keeps up her guard but it seems so hard
Momma never told her she would see those scars

Every night he's out doin' who knows whom
While she cries along like a new show tune
Last call past, is he comin' home soon?
Or is he gonna run away with the dish and the spoon?
She'll realize she don't want that clown
Leave those shoes at the lost and found
He wont catch on until she's not around
After somebody else already locked that down

We sing...
Everything is all I have to give you
And I'm afraid it ain't enough
And you're not so young that you believe me
Just because I say 'it's love'
And even if they come to steal you tomorrow
I'll know my smile was yours
Go ahead and chase your dreams and your freedom
Run, run wild wild horses

You can't tame these horses
You can't tame these horses, no
You can't tame these horses
You can't tame these horses

He didn't want her to see him leave
And he couldn't keep sittin' there watchin' her sleep
Cause he knows if he hangs out for a few hours
He'll dig another hole tryin' to plant some new flowers
But the sun don't shine under the table
He's tryin' to hold his life together with staples
No investment cause he's incapable
And he's on the outro of being labeled available

The word on the street is his girls comin' back home
No more alone, no more sad poems
No after-bar calls to the cell phone
Its time to walk a new path and grow a backbone

Shoved into the big book of just friends
Wondering how he would look as a husband
And everyone of 'em he ever allowed to love him
Now watching from the crowd tryin' to be proud of him

They say...
Everything is all I have to give you
And I'm afraid it ain't enough
And you're not so young that you believe me
Just because I say it's love
And even if they come to steal you tomorrow
I'll know my smile was yours
Go ahead and chase your dreams and your freedom
Run, run wild wild horses

You can't tame these horses
You can't tame these horses, no
You can't tame these horses
You can't tame these horses
Wild Wild Horses by Atmosphere

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uXa0HxMzRHE

Check Out My HePo Mix-Tape:
https://hellopoetry.com/collection/135545/badwords-music-lyrics/

You can't tame these horses
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