Sometimes I forget
The way my heart raced rapidly
Or the way my stomach turned
Sometimes I forget
The way I couldn't do anything
Or go anywhere
Without thinking of you
Or talking to you
Nor did I want to
I didn't want any second
To be spent apart
Sometimes I forget
No matter what time of day
Dawn, afternoon, night
We would get so wrapped up
In each other, in the lust of it all
And completely give in
To a time of sin
It was so blissful
I felt it, it was so strong
Sometimes I forget
How much you'd need me
And how much I'd need you
There was such a yearning
And longing between us
You were my oxygen
My drug of choice
Sometimes I forget
The smile on my face
That would never leave
Everyone would wonder
Who or what
I was so wrapped up in
Little did they know
It was someone I loved
More than I had loved before
And these are the reasons why
It's impossible to ever forget you
You're always in my heart
Always occupying my mind
The presence of you
Will always linger
You were a part of me
And you forever will be

I'm thankful for God
I'm infinitely blessed
And without Him
I'd have no strength

I'm thankful for my family
They're my pillar in this world
My support system
My purpose

I'm thankful for my dog
I've never known such an unconditional love
My dog is my light
An extension of me

I'm thankful for my friends
The ones that have my back
And tell me the truth
We laugh together, think together
Expanding our minds

I'm thankful for the boy
Who gives me his whole heart
Says I'm his saving grace
He makes me feel worthy
Of the world

I'm thankful for my university
The thing that gives me hope
Makes me feel like I have direction
And a fighting chance in this society

I'm thankful for the mistakes
For they taught me how to grow
And better myself
Be the real me

I'm thankful to those who have wronged me
The liars, players, cheaters, and users
They've shown me what I really deserve
And what not to tolerate

I'm thankful for nature
Where I find peace in solitude
The flowers, the sun, the moon, and stars
They're my guide to faith and positivity

Lastly,
I'm thankful for my poetry
Even though I'm not the best
It's given me a place to express myself
When I had no where else to go

A person like you should never have to go through what you have
No one deserves it, but especially someone like you.

I talked to you for 15 minutes and by the 8th minute I had tears rolling down my cheeks and my heart pulsated so sharply I thought I could see it through my shirt

God, why.
Mom. Cancer. Rehab. Chain. *******. Smoker.
Depression. Anxiety. Body dysmorphia. God, I am so sorry.  

All the cliches in the entire world could not amount to the things I wish I could say to you, and one day make you believe.
All the times you saved me from my worst self, only to realize that while you had saved me, it was your own self that was delving deeper and deeper into its own defeat.
God.
Every time you would come up and give me a hug even when I barely knew you.
When I had no idea what you would mean to me, and how much your life would impact mine.
I am so sorry.
Sorry that your parent's were **** to you. That you didn't get the family you deserve, but made yourself such a strong, completely marvelous person.
I'm not romanticising any of the things you went through because I would never shed a good light on things that caused you so much suffering.
No, that's not it at all.
All the stories you told me tonight seemed too unbearable to be real.
But those stories are your harsh realities and I would trade everything I owned, all the money in my bank account, for you to stop what you do to yourself and the undo the numbness you've trained yourself to feel
you are NOT sad personified
you are NOT just *** appeal and sweet heartbreaker
you even know that my heart breaks, literally I can feel it, when you tell me, show me, paint ******* pictures for me of all the things you've dragged yourself through
I can't pick your feet up and carry you through, though.
God, how I wish I could.
You have to do it on your own, I know you can.
But I just ******* hope you'll follow through in your terrifying, mystifyingly horrible promise of, "Maybe I'll stick around until then"
.
.
.

what is our relationship?
are we best friends? friends?
we hang out on weekends sometimes, are constantly around each other during the school day, and  have similar experiences and feelings about important things.
and yet, i still don't really know you.
the story of your life still remains a shrouded cloud of mystery that has yet to clear.
we are both "understand"ers
I understand a lot about you. Feel the things you feel and let unspoken things be said through a look. You understand a lot about me. You tell me things that I need to hear and offer me comfort unlike any friend because you recognize a lost but searching soul.
I remember when we first started really talking.
I don't know if I made this up, but I swear to God... every time we would talk, your eyes would light up and I would smile, because we both knew each other without really knowing
That glimmer would literally cause me to smile so big, and cause something inside me to grow a little bit each time it happened. It was a rare thing and I cherished it.
We both thought the other was exciting and it was like we shared a thousand unknown secrets just waiting to be told.
I still see that spark sometimes. It's not there in the way it used to be, but it's there. If I tell you something brave I did the previous weekend, or you talk about music or something you love, I see it come back. But when we talk about C, M, or H,  the flame is dull. I hate that; I wish it didn't have to be put out like that.
So what is this?
Sometimes I feel like whatever spark you thought you saw in me, isn't as exciting or secretive as you thought.
I hope that isn't true, because just as I don't truly know your life story, you don't know mine.
I didn't know you freshman year, or most of sophomore. Junior year, who can even say what happened. But I hope that during this summer, even if I'm not in your life as much, that flame will grow. I really hope it does, because the small glimpse of it that I was lucky enough to witness was one of the greatest, purest, most extraordinary things I have ever seen.
I didn't want to tell you about my depression, or the years I went to therapy..."counseling".
Or when I thought I had anorexia and later tried to make myself a bulimic.
When you told me on the bridge that you had tried to make yourself throw up, I understood. So much.  But I couldn't say that and make it about me.
I didn't want you to worry that I would become like her . And I know that's awful to say, but when you talk about her, and I hear the pain in your voice, and didn't want to be another cause of that.
Now I feel like I should tell you because unlike a few months or weeks ago, I'm okay with myself. I wasn't then,  but I am now.
So there's a little more about me, but this isn't what this is about.
This is a long *** who-knows-what-whatever about I don't even know.
U Rock

love is an art form and our technique was lost in the brush strokes
the calming blue and fiery red melded into a sleepy gray on an altered canvas
our melded color wheels spun together defying gravity and the stars around it
the secret images in our minds danced across our eyelids as we slept in a blanket of white comfort
our dreams did not cease when our slumber did, but awakened themselves through the next visit to the big tree in the field
the dilapidated branches grasped our waists,
taking us as high as we wanted to go.
overcast clouds eased our minds and stirred something so deep from within, that only  a light breeze could evoke it's depths

And I wish your smile
was meant for me.
I wish
that we'd stare*
into each others
eyes,
knowing that
the reason they
light up,
was because of me;
because of my effort,
the effort that I
try so hard
*to hide.