looking into
your eyes,
i wouldn't think
of getting lost
in them.

instead,
your eyes
are a getaway
where i find myself.

with ice stretching
up the window
and the sun’s reflections
dancing on car hoods
i told you
when the warmth returns,
we’re going to
stargaze.
you tilted your head
as a puppy would,
questioning the spontaneity
of such a wish.
i had said i was just thinking.
but i lied
because every time
i fall into your eyes
i gaze at the universe inside,
brimming with possibility,
every time
i lose myself in your eyes
it’s because
i’m too busy stargazing,
diamonds of wishes
that never could be,
remnants of dreams
that could each set me free,
the sun and moon
bold and stark
against the universe,
you ache to give me it all.
but for once,
i wanted you to see
what i fell in love with
so easily.

She was a thrifted sweater and denim and jersey knit sheets
Pizza breath and red wine and toothpaste
Alabaster skin and knotted hair and freckled shoulders
A tangible dream and my favorite good morning
She agreed to let me kiss her and I agreed to let her slip my shirt over my head before she became
Blood and tears
"I trusted you" and "I’m sorry"
Midnight poems and a drunk "I need you"
I’m afraid I loved you like the way I wrote

oh honey
we’re meant to be
don’t say
i don’t love you,
i know
i will win this raging battle inside,
but i also said
i would win over your heart,
my truth is
i can’t wipe my memory clean of you,
can’t wash your touch off my body,
i can’t warm my hands where yours used to be,
i just can’t let you go that easy.

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