And the guilt consumes her
like a wool blanket on a hot night.
Indulgence tastes bittersweet on the tongue.
Drink up as you learn to breathe deeply.
He says letting go is easy, if only she’d try.
She says she never was a very good student.

And now that she’s back
in your life again I find myself
telling you that I’m happy
for you and her and everybody
but we both know I’m not.
I’ll play the part of the fool
while you stand there in the corner
using my heart as a child’s plaything.

Make conversation until it hurts
because you won't let him go.
Exchange your pleasures for pain.
What do life or death matter
when you are surrounded by light?

I wrote you another love poem today,
Full of cliches and sap, thicker than honey,
but than I thought; he loves you
and you him, so just be on with it already.
Please, forgive me if I’m too frank.

Would you take a walk with me
through the park and around the lake?
Dreams of a future lie in a purple-trimmed house.
We drink too much (coffee, *****)
while we spill our secrets,
comfortable in our vulnerability.

Stand still. Pretend for a moment
that you’re mine and I’m yours.
This time we’ll take a picture so that
later, when you go and I remain (stuck),
we’ll have something to bridge the miles
between my heart and yours.

Welcome to where you are.
Don’t you see the stars shining above?
Slow down,
Breathe in the space between our lives.
We’ve been here before.
Me living in a future that will never be,
And you, promising to hold me tight
As you say again that you’re my friend.

That night you let loose from salty lips
That you almost kissed me,
With your arm around me,
Our bodies warm to the touch,
Heartbeats in sync,
But something stopped you.
Was it that my brother would step outside
And our secret would be no longer?
Or was it the fear that suddenly I
Wouldn’t be the only one falling from a high?

That same night on the phone
You told me I had nice *****.
Well, at least I have that going for me.
Am I the only one that’s touched you in that way?
Yes! Yes, you’re the only one
The only one who’s given me goose bumps,
Sent shivers down my spine, with just a touch.
Run your fingers down my back.
Kiss my neck,
Nibble my ears,
One more time.
Yes, you’re the only one
Who’s bitten my lips,
Caressed my soft *******,
Made me wish away my life.

Do you know that you could still have me if you wanted?
That you’re still capable of breaking me?
It’s only fear, darling.

Love, love is a verb.
She was a bullet
Headed straight for my heart.
She is heavy.
She made bad ****.
Tell me something. Something more.
My life hurts.

You say
This body is a temple
And to treat it well
Because this life
It's the only one we've got
But baby's fat bracelets
And thunder thighs
Never melted away
When she started walking.
And I've stopped wishing
For these heavy legs
To work like they should.
You'd remind me that real
Movement happens within
And to not be in such a hurry
Because maybe there's a reason
This body is broken. My blue mind
Sometimes forgets that karma
Takes time to work itself out.
I just can't see how
I'm supposed to love something
That has never been the source
Of anything good in my life.

Cheap coffee and sad country songs
take her sadness and set it on stage.
She claims Texas is home now.
More than forty years forgotten
because only two matter. He is her home.
Pretend the small talk is natural. Why then,
can’t she look them in the eyes
before she waits alone in empty airports
trying to figure out where she lost herself?
And there’s no one left to have mercy on us.

I wandered from distraction
to suddenly pause where
the fellow had ventured too soon.
Dressed sheepishly in pebbles,
I listen to your morning song.

Identity is just a dream until
it becomes a nightmare.
Something that she can’t escape
and promises she can no longer keep.
Let Go and Feel Your Nakedness
outlaw Harold Norse preaches
deep inside the marked pages
of a different sort of bible.
And so she drowns her dreams
in early morning conversations
where she sleeps on the wings
of an albatross, forever in flight.

He remembered the winter
to be unnaturally full of magic.
The verses perhaps too pleasant
as the girl lay there trembling
and thinking of tomorrow
and the dilemma of her death.

Birds sing their morning songs
amidst mountains asleep in the fog
And I find I don’t have the answer
anymore. My heart on my sleeve
and my head spinning in circles.
Would you wake me when you leave?

I’m stagnant.
Rejected, but he loves me like he loves his sisters.

God Don’t Make Lonely Girls.
Oh, yes he does.

I read too much into these things.
Too clingy. Too needy. Too crazy.

Too much coffee. Purple trim house. The lake.
Butterflies make me soar. Tears flow. I feel like I can tell him anything and so I do.
I should have known better.

Stop running from your demons.

Iris. On repeat. Again and again until I drift to sleep.

Why the **** do I care?
Why the **** do I love you.
This isn’t fair anymore.

I was three years out of high school and finally getting
the chance to grow up. I’d been ready since before
graduation day. Everybody in the world was certain
that I would fail. I couldn’t succeed. Thanks for the vote
of confidence. I am proving them wrong. I’m succeeding,
maybe not thriving, but succeeding right before their very eyes.

Success is living on my own. Being able to do every household
chore on my own. Success is getting myself to and from where
I need to be in my broken down, beat up wheelchair. Success
is budgeting my money each month. Success is not getting killed
and ***** on my walk home from work in the dark. Success is
living up to their standards and way of life. Success is faking a smile.

I’ve learned more about life in the last eight months than ever before.
I’ve made mistakes, just like they said I would. What they didn’t count
on was me learning from those mistakes and picking up the pieces.
They told me I wouldn’t last more than a month, six weeks at the most.
I would ***** up, fail miserably, get hurt and hospitalized. Thank you
for the boost of self-esteem. It’s made me tougher than steel.

I may not be the perfect student, skinny blonde *****, award winning
page designer or most eloquent writer. I may not speak Spanish fluently,
have loads of extra cash lying around or a motorized, state of the art
wheelchair. Stop telling me what I need. I don’t need or want any of them.

Success is living how I want to live. Success is a productive day when I want
nothing but hot tea and soft music. Success is having the confidence to ask
for help when I’ve been told I shouldn’t. Success is making friends who can
read through my masquerade. Success is facing the consequences. Success is
found through red ink marks and piles of papers. Success is not letting those
who don’t believe in me get the best of me. Success is sunshine on a cloudy day

The television is on with the football game  
blaring from the speakers with people crowded around
screaming out plays, and insults. Jumping up and down until
the popcorn and beer a spilled and it's time for refills.

The kitchen is a mess. Packed full of chips and dip, pizza and coke.
It’s become a free-for-all. An all-you-can eat buffet.

Candles scent the air and lamps light the way
When you come, you won’t want to leave
Because it feels right. Because it fits.

Lying there in your arms on my bed
without a care in the world. Laying there
and pretending that maybe, for just one minute,
you were mine again and I was yours.

Our hands intertwined and sweet kisses
on the forehead let me know you still care. The way I
tickle your arm and nestle my head in your chest
drives you crazy. The way you wrap your arms around me
and pull me closer; the way you tickle my back makes me
melt while I'm lying in a dreamy,
semiconscious state with you.

What do you miss the most?
Oh god, everything. I miss a lot of things.
I miss the way you smiled at me like I was the only thing
that mattered in the whole wide world.

What do you miss the most?
I miss the connection we had that summer.
Me too. Me too.

If you could change one thing, do something
differently, what would it be?
I would fight like hell to see you more,
spend more time just like this.
How about you?
Hey, that wasn't in the rules.
Since when have I ever followed the rules?
I would kiss you more.

Do you remember our last kiss? I do.
I remember everything about it and it drives
me absolutely crazy.

It was hot outside, really hot, and I had to leave
but your car needed some work before you could
make it home. We said goodbye and I had turned away
to leave before spinning around for one last kiss.
God, that was incredible.

What happened to us?
And please, don't feed me any *******.

We don't even have to say a word.
You lying here with me is enough.