I always have this feeling.
That there are these following
Eyes always on my back
Or on the top of my head
Or in my black blood. . .
Do you know what I mean?
It is in a sense, comforting?
And completely sickening all at
Once and I have nothing left
To speak at all.

But one time, sometime ago
I felt a strange relief.
No more eyes on the back
Of my head or your head on my
Spiny back; crooked teeth
Straightened back out
By the cold streets
Of those bizarre,
              ******,
and draining
cities.

Saint Pete, Oh Saint Peter!
Where are you now?
Your smooth shadiness and weird wilderness
Covered up my sins but only for a little bit
A moment in a movement inward
Inside my lungs, I breathe you in
I’m going outside and out of my mind
They forgive me for my sins. . .
But, I still love you.

Saint Augustine, Saint Augustine!
I will be back to you
I will let your silly green water
Take me in and bring me home
I’ve been too far gone for far too long
Sliding around the other stars in this galaxy
Seeing the inside of some strange girls
In the complete capture of a crutch coma
I let you go. . .
But, I still love you.

I thank you both,
(True Gentlemen)
(Wicked Women)
For your hands

They were there
(For Strength)
(For Shade)
To cover the curse

Of these
(Dying)
(Lying)
Eyes

Oh, what I would give
To just, kiss those sweet lips
Or to
Feel her soft skin under
My calloused fingertips
And the shaking of her small hips
The pressing of her tight hands
On my sparrow chest

My God
It’s delicious. . .

The skin of her neck
Matches that
Of the skin
On her thighs
It is smooth and reflective
Just as the naughty night.

Is one kiss enough,
To bring this to life?

Or should we walk
Hand-in-hand?

And disappear into only
Into the moon's sight. . .

And suddenly. . . I was there!!!

Amazed by what I saw
The truth lies in the middle
On the road for six years
And honestly I don’t care
If I ever make it back alive.

The small stones in the road
Represent the fragments of my skull
That I left in many different
Black holes across this wicked
Universe and in this second verse.

I love when the rain falls
I feel you
I love the smell that is left
When you stay the night
I feel your fingers slide
Softly
          d
          o
          w
          n
­            
          d
          o
          w
          n
­       my back
and my head
Cannot grip this memory and keep it
Together for you
Long enough
To shake me out of the crossfire
And back into that sparrow’s nest
Of hair that I call my home, you know
Girl, you need to know what’s going on
On the other-side
Your life is going nowhere down there
Midtown is not downtown
It is the final circle of hell
And you are just getting started
I’m getting all backwards and forwards
Is ****** for good stories

Take a step, take a breath back
In and out, out and in
A little love, loves a little sin

I want you
I want you too
I want you to remember

**This

I have studied your ways
For many days now
Every move so patient
You are not like me
I am not
Calm like you are
Except when
That breeze runs through
My mind and
Then moves to your eyes
and then it likes to move
Around the other ways;
Around them,
To find
You there
I'm not there,
But you say to
Be there
So I will be. . .

You never seem to change
Like I do
Or like my mind
I should say

I see this in you. . .

&

I try and understand
The feelings that arise
Like a fire in your
Holy Wilderness.
Naked in
Times of confusion

I love confusion
I hate confusion

Its where I felt you first
and where you first
Saw my unholy wildness.
Naked in
The fire that once
Consumed the feelings
In my life

&

You could see that!

But,
I couldn't see through
The blaze
The purple haze
The strange days
That they too had
Already seen

But I think that you had
Already seen me
Coming
Going
Spiraling into my violent
Rage

So you took the time
To study me and
Seek me out
Instead of the other way
Around

You excepted my
Screaming and shouting
The twisting and turning
That I have so doubted

You are the one

&

I think I like this. . .

I don't know what
I am looking for. . .

But I found you
and you solved
that problem.

Oh tree,
Sweet tree
How you know me
How I envy your strength
Your energy rooted so deep
In the veins of my arms
And in my boney fingers
As I feel my way around
Your many alien features
&
Your sweet hair
That
Blows and leaves
Little traces of you
In the strands of stringy-like sand
Every where you are
&
Every where you are not
People will die
People have always died over
Your precious life. . .

So tree,
Sweet tree
My tree
The only one
That really knows me
Take me in your arms
Let me feel the warmth
Of your sister sun
Your spiritual entity
and my holy one
That neither one of us
Shall ever truly see
Or know
But I know
That you know
That both of us
Cannot live
Without the other
We would be ghosts
Behind the shadows

So tree,
Be the brother
That I never had
Be my father
Because I cannot look at him
Anymore, you see?
I can't look into the eyes
Of the man that has made me who I am
The mystery, the disaster, the one
Who stops for nothing
And that wins nothing
For being nothing

I am something!

But you are
You are everything
That I am not
You are everything
That they aren't
You are everything
That he wants
and wants me to be

I want to be more than that!

I want you to be. . .

My lover, my brother
My mother, my father
My tree. . . I must know
Will you have me?

Because
I know you can save me
&
Together you and I
Can save them all.

Is it I - the one
Me, who has to
strangle on this
side of
the morning?

With the lashes
of dew still
dripping, tripping
off of the
edge of
the fire.

Reminders
left there - all curled
up and slowly
deceasing
down into
the open eye.

Fog languidly
sweeps up from
our hollow valley
and begins to
eat away

slowly and slowly
into our
lives; Built on
chaos and
disarray from

Each other.
Can
you feel it?
Can
you feel
the thunder?

The Majestic,
The Majesty
Of the
Unknown. . .
The whispering
voices.

Awakened by
her songs
in the soggy
morning light.

A crack in
the shades,
reveals a
world

waiting to
be found,
when you
decide

to be a
man and
put

your shirt
back on
and

realize that
you've
just

dreamt
that
same

old dream

again. . .

I have had to **** you dear

Deer in the forest
Woods of my life
It was the
Closest I'd ever been to love
A fleeting glimpse
Shadows about the grey tents
Words caught on a hook
That shouldn't have been spoke
Into the ears that we pierce
On the street below the balcony
Or something that was in the way

I'm tired of losing this battle
The enemy at the gates
Behind me is crying
Because I can't be saved

But,

I'm not afraid of the ghost
The ghost is not afraid of me
I am the ghost that you fear
You are the one
That I must ****, dear

I hate it
The days in between
The milestones
That have been carved
Out of my bones
I hate it

When the shade hits my back
When can we go home?

I'll phone your best friend and
Tell her that I've always loved you
But her image has since disappeared
I lost you, out in the wilderness
The memory is not so clear
Anymore

Why didn't you come back?
Was his flesh enough to fill the hole
In your little life?
The cut across my neck
Bleeds and pours and sings for more
Of the taste of rust (iron blood)
From the knife
I once gave you there

So why don't you just **** me off, dear?
Like a deer in the forest
Hiding in the woods of my lie
The creator Is nauseous
I drank too much last night

Insomnia goes hand in hand with amnesia
What was I talking about?
Again. . .