If we must suffer
Why not choose how we suffer?

I knew as soon as my emotions
Began stirring
Talking to you
What was bound to happen

This is how I choose to suffer.

It will hurt, yes.
But wounds heal.
With what fleeting time I have with you
If suffering is the cost... where do I sign?

Never before could I open up
To someone I immediately gravitated towards.
With you all those troubles, worries, and anxieties
They don't have such a hold over me anymore.

Again, this is how I choose to suffer..

What I think is special
When we say our goodbyes
We will part with much less Emptiness inside
Than when we first met.

Life is suffering.


...And I will suffer well..

I never got to tell you
I did in fact pick a star out
For you...
I took my time, and found a real gem.

I told you mine was Sirius.
You said you never picked your own star.
Even though I said the next time we saw each other
I'd have one picked out, I never told you what it was.

I wanted to wait till Spring
When we could actually see it
And I could point it right out to you
And say, "That one's yours."

I was really starting to like you.
And I can only imagine that that was why
You stopped talking.
Because I readily gave too much.

I'm not mad.
Just terribly hurt.
Just like with every other girl
I shared myself with.

Antares...
Your star was going to be Antares.
The heart of the Scorpion.
I'll save it for someone who's worth giving my heart to.

Even in the face of all your laudations
Almost tear inducing words
It will be so terrible when you find out
What happens next..

Such praise surely would
Have tempted this man from walking off.
At least everyone in their right mind
Would have concurred.

... But that is just not so in the mind
Of someone so bull headed.
So rigid in thought.
So unyeilding in person.

Like any branch
It will let out such
An unnerving snap
When the stress proves too much.

And no one will be ready for it.

You've made so many enemies
With so many wolves.

All because you chose
To shun one of them away.

They don't even know your name,
But they bare their teeth all the same...

Seemed as if we were both reading the same book.
I knew one of us would outpace the other.
..Most likely it would be me.
I guess I am too eager to see what unfolds on the next few pages.

But for whatever reason, and with no warning, you put your book down.
The rest of the pages in my book become empty.
Flipping back and forth doesn't help.
As soon as the pages start to tear I realize I have to put mine down now.

This isn't the first story I've found where the words just disappear.
No happy ending.
No ending at all..
Just another unfinished adventure...

It's difficult for me
To keep my emotions
From running off,
And to keep my troubles
From catching up
When someone like you
Shows up.

You came into view
And I couldn't hold back the tears.
I embraced you with everything I had.

There wouldn't be much time if any.
I knew I was dreaming,
And I desperately wished I wouldn't wake up.

My sobbing turned to tremors.
And yet you were calm.
At peace.

Felt like you knew I needed to see you again.
To tell me it was okay you were not here anymore.
The tears still burn my face as I write this all down.