with detachment, he stole my world.
the very breath from my lungs,
leaving only the hollow ache in my ribs
and mourning holding my bones on fingertips.
our room is silent now. and you told me it
would no longer be ‘our’ room. but only
after you stained it red with hollow intentions
and empty promises. the memories, your
voice is a deafening numb that pulses through
my ears constantly reminding me of the weight
of your absence. the dark shades that hang
from my eyes rock me to sleep as your
voice sings Moon River.  
memory has never failed me until I try
to recall our last kiss, the last truth from
your lips. because I can’t remember how
your smile tasted or the gentle glide of
your hands but their scars are all over
my body and they won’t let me rest.

eyes meet
no way to escape this time
no constructed lies
all I ask is
to cut loose before your word falls through
before their demise
please just leave.

here’s to the grey-lit sunday’s
and the hours you called me on the phone
and here’s to the nights together
where it finally felt like home.
here’s to all your new lovers
and how they all look like me
and here’s to my shattered bones,
how they refuse to break cleanly.

you took what you came for
with no regard for the pain
it was never of your concern
you just came here to ****.
you drug me through circles
till there was nothing left of me
I’m left with an unrecognizable shell
you took everything.

I’ve been holding, breathing in your skin
Breathing your words, breathing your sins.
When you’re walking your shadow away from me
Knowing you’ll be there tonight in my dreams.

But this time I have decided
You’re not longer welcomed in my head
No longer tangled in my words
No longer hoping for the worst.

I’ve been holding your bones along
To the words of this tired song
Stuck in circles, stuck in replay
Time to move on but I’m oh-so afraid.

And it has been decided
To leave these thoughts in my head
You need’ t hear the words left for dead
My love is for the broken
My love is best unspoken.

And it has been decided
I’m no longer your wanted sidekick
No longer the girl you write of
No longer the girl that you loved.

There is no way you could love me if you knew me.
It is not possible to be so self-inflicted
These wounds you dig yourself
But your blood is under my nails.
There is no way you could love me
Love this disease that is in my head
Selfish, consumingly distain my mind
Don’t kiss my scars
You’re only opening them again
Don’t tell me they will heal
Because time has never been my friend.
Don’t love me.
Don’t destroy yourself like this.
Don’t let me do this to you.
Leave while there is still color in your mornings
And cramping smiles in company.
Leave while you can still taste food
While you still have a reason to be awake.
Don’t let me ruin you.

I learned to never really talk about it
to take what I can and hide from the light
to feel my face crack beneath my skin.
drunken words escape from half shut eyes.

smoke settles in your shadow
but only I know
about the face behind the mask.
consuming fires were never meant to last
burnt out cause we were the perfect match.

stuck in an endless circle
having no interest in the destination
yet here I am, moving forward

I wish I had the courage
to choose myself.

there is bravery in normality
but for me, I am just
blending in.
I don't want to make a fuss.

you don't need me the way I need you, love
your heartstrings don't strain with time.
you don't need my taste in your mouth
but I need yours in mine.

so early we caught fire, as if we were one
you run through my veins like disease
but I can tell your lungs don't collapse
like you can't breathe
with every step you take from me.