Thousands of
Missiles
Are aimed
At my heart,
But yours
Was the first to
Strike.

The sky goes grey
As it rains blood.
The screams of angels
Roar like the wind.
As the angels finally fall.

You words,
Once so sweet,
Are now like
Knifes that make me
Bleed.

His words screamed louder than her demons,
But what she didn't know was that he would leave her
And let her demons destroy her.

Before we continue
Playing this game of
Love,
There is something you
Must know.

Before we continue
Falling for
Each other,
You must know that
I am only going to
Break your heart.

Before we continue
Writing sweet things for
Each other,
You have to know
That you can't love me
Because no one can love me.

Before we continue
On this
Path,
You know that
I will always love you and I am sorry.

My mind
Is a
Dark place
Where thoughts of
Death
Are common.

I'm screaming,
But no one hears me.

I'm screaming,
But no one cares to save me.

I'm drowning,
But no one sees me.

I'm drowning,
But no one will save me from myself.

People think that my life is perfect.
My smiles are real.
My cover wrists aren't scared.
My eyes don't shed a tear.

People are wrong.
My smiles are fake.
My wrists are scared.
My eyes shed thousands of tears.

People think that my life is perfect.
My parents are sweet and nice.
My body is only bruised because I fell.
My spirit isn't shattered.

People are wrong.
My parents are monsters.
My body is bruised because of them.
My spirit is completely shattered into a million pieces.

Grief
Anger
Madness...
It's all spiraling down on me,
Resting on my shoulders,
Silently crushing me
As my cries for help go unanswered.

I sit alone in the dark crying.
We broke up,
But I still love you,
And yet you love another girl.
I got another guy to try and replace you,
But I cant.
So again I sit in a dark room,
As tears create another river of sorrow and loss.

I don't know what to say.
I can't speak,
You have taken all my words.
I can't find the words to describe you
And how you make me feel.

There is only one thing I can say:
               I love you.

I'm drowning.
And no one cares enough to save me.

Run
Hide
Be found
Cower as you wait for the first hit.

Welcome to my life.
Are you sure you want to hang with me?

"Amber, you're ugly."
"I know, Mom."
Please stop reminding me.

"Amber, you're fat."
"I know, Dad."
Can't you see I'm trying to be skinny?

"Amber, what is that on your wrist?"
"Nothing, Mom."
You wouldn't care even if I told you the truth.

"Amber, you only hurt yourself to get attention."
"I'm sorry, Dad."
No, I'm not trying to get anyone's attention.

"Amber, you are so pathetic and lazy."
"I know, Mom. I'm sorry."
I'm trying to please you by doing what you want me to.

"Your only here becuase your mother ***** me."
"You have already told me that, Dad."
I'm sorry I'm here.

"Don't call me your mother."
"Yes, Ma'am."
I always knew you hated me, but don't worry, I hate myself too.

"Why are you even here?"
"Becuase of Mother."
I honestly don't know becuase I should be dead.

I have a stalker.
But the thing is,
I know who he is.

He is my 'friend.'
Or at least I thought he was.
Spencer...

Grab me.
Follow me.
Watch me.

I want to tell you stop,
But you won't listen.
You won't stop.

I loved you so much
But you still left me.
For a girl who would give you what you wanted.

I cried over you
But you never shed a tear over me.
Because you were too bust being 'entertained' by another girl.

I cut over you
But you only smiled at the scars they left.
Because you started to 'love' your new girl.

Shattered screams fade into the background
Seconds pass, though it feels like hours
I can't seem to remember your smile
The sweet sound of your laugh, ringing out through the room
The way your eyes glowed the perfect hue
The way your hair flowed in gentle waves
The way you lit up the room just by walking in
Your presence was not loud
But it called to me
I was captivated by you
Our moments spent together, our silent song woven together
It was not enough
I was not enough
Now all that is left of us is in shattered memories
The shards laid bare with no one left to see
As my memory fades into the night
Maybe those shards of memory might help me to find my way back to you

Words, thoughts
Tangled together in my mind,
Waiting for the one little push
That makes me fall off the edge.

I always wondered what you would do
If I walked away from our  friendship.
But now, I don't have to wonder.
You walked away for me.

I'm lost.
I don't know what to do.
People scream at me.
Tell me I'm worthless,
I'm a horrible person,
That I need to change.
But I can't.
I've tried and yet you still say these things
What am I doing wrong?
What can I do to become the person you can love?
What can I do to become the girl people won't hate?

No
One
Cares
That
I
Am
Slowly
Dying.

I've run out of words to say,
The pain is taking over,
All I can do is feel,
And I can't speak at all.

Fade.
I'll fade away from your memory.

Don't worry.
You barely even remember me now.

As I sit here, watching the sun set,
I can't help the flow of memories that come to haunt me.
I can't help but think of the times we watched the sun set together.
I used to be sad every time I sat on this roof,
But now, it is the safest place for me.

Helpless against you,
I can't do anything, but wait.
Wait for you to say something,
Wait for you to tell me that you still care.
But, I know that I am waiting on nothing.

What did I do to deserve you?
Are you blind or stupid or crazy for sticking around?

What did I do to deserve your love?
That's right, I don't deserve it.

What did I do to deserve your attention?
I don't deserve anything from you.

Please tell me what I did!
I need to find out.

What you never knew
Ultimately destroyed me
And my whole life.

What you never knew
Was that I am a monster
That can't be controlled.

What you never knew
Was how I torture myself
Trying to be good enough to be a daughter worthy of you.

When push comes to shove
You will know that you deserve what comes next.

When push comes to shove
You will know what you did to me was wrong.

When push comes to shove
You will remember all the pain you caused.

And when push comes to shove
You will know that you won't survive.

All because of what you did.

When this poem ends and is posted,
I will be gone.
When you feel my absence
Listen to the wind and hear my laughter.
Look up at the stars and know that I am happy.
When you feel the sun on your back know that I am there.
When you feel peaceful know that I am watching you.
When you feel like flying know that I am lending you wings.
Listen and you will hear my voice.
Look around and you will see me in everyday objects.

I will never truly leave.
So when you feel my absence
Listen
Look
And feel.

Where's the fairness in life now?
I loved you,
But you never loved me.
I needed you,
But you said "*******."

Why do you insist on saving me?
Can't you see that I can't be saved?

Why do you invade my thoughts?
I keep trying to push you out of my mind, but I can't.

Why can't you leave me alone?
I don't want to hurt you.

Why can't you just hate me like everyone else?
It would be easy to.

I am a poet because
I have seen many things.

I am a poet because
My voice has been silenced.

I am a poet because
Poetry is my voice.

I am a poet because
I am screaming, if only you would listen.

As I sit here,
The words pour out.
Shining, shimmering.
Decorating the page with beautifully painful words.
A deep, scarlet red.
The words soak into the page,
Leaving their imprint on the readers.
Letting the readers soak up the emotions off of the page.
The pain,
The happiness,
The joy,
The amazement.
The words are pouring out of me
And I hope that they can help someone.

You.
Oh, how I despise that word.
Because of what you did to me.

You poisoned me a thousand times.
All without me knowing.
Because I was in love with you.

You made me blind
From the rest of the world.
Because you played me for a fool.

You are a monster.

There was once I time I cherished being with you,
But then I realized what you really are.

You are a monster.

I'm waiting for the day you finally say why you put up with me
And **** me.

You are a monster.

I know that now,
But I still can't escape.

You said that she was too fat,
But you didn't know that she was starving herself.

You said that she had too many scars,
But you didn't know that she cut herself so maybe, just maybe, she could feel alive.

You told her to die,
But you didn't know that she would actually try to die.

You told me that I would never survive,
But survival is my middle name.

You told me that I was weak,
But I'm still here.

You told me that I was too broken to be fixed,
But I have someone who is fixing me.

You told me that I could never be loved,
But I have someone who loves me.

You told me that I could never love,
But I have someone that I love so much.

You told me that I don't have feelings,
But I have more than you.

Zora,
Zoe,
Zoey,
Zoe Zoe.
So many nicknames,
But no matter what you were called,
You were still one of the greatest dogs I ever owned.
When my grandparents called today to tell me that you were gone,
My heart shattered.
You were with me ever since I was little.
You protected me.
You played with me.
You helped me through hard times in my life.
Now you are gone,
And yes, some people will say "she's just a dog, get over it and stop crying,"
But you were my best friend.
I can't replace you
And I feel like I can't live without you,
But I know that somehow I will manage.
It will be hard,
But I know that your spirit is still with me.
Zora,
I'm sorry I couldn't be by your side when you died.
I'm sorry I couldn't say goodbye face to face.
I knew your time was ending,
But it didn't stop my heart from breaking.
Yes, I know,
You're just a dog.
But to me, you are more than a dog.
You are my childhood playmate.
You are my best dog friend.
You are my rock.
Although I guess I should say was,
But you still are my best dog friend.
You always will be even though you are gone.
I love you, Zora.
I always will.