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alavandala Jul 2014
break me down
take the color out the world
the water out the ground
it's so much closer now
i can feel it closing in
you taste divine like heaven
but your very nature's sin
alavandala Jun 2014
i made it through the winter
not once did a single echo make it back to me
never did sound pass the confines of my tired mouth
any hope would have been ill-fated
trying would have been futile,
fruitless
my efforts were solely focused on making it to this moment
aimlessly i drifted through this atmosphere of doom
every breath one step closer to my annihilation
but that never phased you
you knew where you would wind up
among the sounds of this midsummer's morning
us, together flying in concentric circles
the head of the girl i lead at the center of it all
quite aware that the echoes coming back to me (to her) [to us]
are your finite fabrications meant to keep me awake for just a moment longer
so you can [try] to break my wings
again - i find this
infinitesimal and perpetual
predictable - i know what's headed my way
i get it. i get you
i dawdle a bit. slow the trite movement of my delicate arms,
always reaching out to take me higher,
giving you an opportunity to pounce
on the only thing you've been grappling for this whole time
but today, i'm not lost or looking for home.
my mind can only regard this as farcical now
and i can feel nothing but the monotonous beating of my weary heart
i'm numb.
i sense the sun coming up over the horizonĀ and my energy's abating rapidly
i gather the state of my anticipation
or the lack of interest in participating, in trying to escape
has led you to save your trials for another day,
i'll be expecting you.
i quietly diffuse back into the girl i call home
allowing my thoughts, my words, my echoing voice
to be expressed once more.
alavandala Jun 2014
the moon, never will it disappear
it waxes and it wanes
backandforthandbackandforth, not a sphere
but the darkness it feigns

the sun sets, it does not
the earth turnsTHE EARTH TURNS
and while you're facing oblivion, ought
the sun, on fire, it burns. It burns.

the souls are not stuck in hell
they breathe they leave they die
and then go on, in time, to dwell
amidst the never-ending sky
alavandala Jun 2014
this is death
the irreversible-you're-not-going-to-make-it-out-of-here-in-one-piece­ kind
the "we're going to break you down until there's nothing left to break"
"but bones"
"and then we'll break them too"
i swear! i paid the piper
i paid the piper
i paid the piper
but Piper doesn't care-
he wants more tears
more lies, more lives
more fear
the piper wants you dead
and no blood on his hands
i am not the willing henchman
but my hands are caked in dirt
and i couldn't stop digging these graves if i wanted to



or is it just the truth?
alavandala Jun 2014
you are
a rainstorm, interrupted
by the most elegant light show
to ever arrive in this washed-out,
faded town
orchestrated just so
allowing me, if only for an instant,
to admire it with my usually-downcast eyes
alavandala Jun 2014
wrap your arms around me softly and i'll learn to fall slowly, dropping
from heights too far to comprehend
is this the beginning or is it really the end
listen to the beating wings of the bee: he's singing
people are running 'cause they're 'fraid of the stinging
i hold out my arm and pray that it hurts
life will only get better after it gets worse

"please don't save me anymore,"
i'm screaming as i fall to the floor
alavandala Jun 2014
you weren't the way i imagined you to be

you were *****
and rugged
and raw

with freckles on your cheekbones
and scars on your heart
fingers that moved
and eyes that knew pain

you had words that ached

words with no appeal
but that were filled with allure
captivating and charming and graceful
if only to me

words that made people feel
words that made people
look away
try to forget
that made them sweat
and scream at night when they were supposed to be
all cozy and warm tucked into their beds

words that made people know
that inside, they were alone
in their perfectly put together minds
always dismissing and letting go
anything that didn't matter
or that they didn't accept

your words
they told people of the darkness
how even though the light could overcome
there would always be too much to conquer
too much to get rid of
because time was moving rapidly and light
would never be able to contend

how one day there would be









so









much









space









between the stars
the speed of light wouldn't even be enough
the fastest speed would be deemed
unfit to travel
(imagine that)
one star wouldn't be able to observe another
let alone fathom one's existence

and how it was a travesty but, then again, it was all we were given
all we would ever know
here in universe X

that time is just
a blink of an eye
an exhale
a crashing wave
the end of the story

because once time begins
it is destined to end
and we exist in time's trajectory.

in The Void
time is but a faint paradox
a word
used to mask a concept
we only begin to understand
when it's too late

when the shops are being boarded up
and the hurricane's about to come ashore
-you've got fifteen minutes
but is that enough time?
to hammer the nails and
cross your t's
dot your i's
get home to your family
make sure they're
safe
and
all warm and cozy, tucked into their beds
before the rain starts to fall
and the wind starts to blow
harder than you've ever known
intense and without remorse
without feeling but with force-

you told them
you told them but they didn't listen
they didn't understand
they were too worried about
closing early
leaving late
making it home on time

too worried about getting it right and not enough about
living
the only task they were given
and they couldn't even
figure it out

but now this is me talking and no one was asking you to figure it out
they were just asking you to be
to just
be

to feel the sun
to feel the pain
to guess, to smell
to feel the change
to feel the rain
dance on your skin
to laugh
to breathe
to dream
to sin
to see the sunrise now and then

to stretch
to make
to break
to cry
to watch the clouds
go floating by

to give your heart
never refuse
to wonder
yell
and look
and lose
and if you're lucky, get to choose

you can hate and love and be in awe
paint and write and even draw
(but that's not all that you can do)
it doesn't matter, here's a clue
now is your time for passing through
it's all been done in this Royal Blue
the only difference: your point of view
so cheers 'cause now you're coming to
and with that, i bid adieu
~
your words
they moved mountains
the mountains in me
they were all you had
and they were everything


you were ***** and rugged and raw
but you
you were real
and that was more than enough for me

together, we were chaos
harmony was never our concern
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