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Back and forth
My mind and heart twist and contort
I wish I fought
Harder for what it is that I desire
Having you in my life, set my soul on fire
Loving you is like being an addict
My heart and mind I cannot predict
Back and forth
Addicted
Relapsing
Recovered
And repeat
My heart and mind simultaneously meet the ultimate defeat
 16h abyss
Kalliope
Sleep evades
A restless soul
Mind replays
What once felt whole
Heart thumping
Out my chest
Shaky hands
Doing my best
Visions blur
You never touched-
So how the ****
Do I miss you this much?
0400
Could I answer "who am I?"
Even if I where to ask myself?
I'd surely catch myself being something else
Draped in some kind of forgotten lie

I bend and split like beams of light
Fractured through the prism of life
My personality's gone under the knife
I don't recognize myself, try as I might

Maybe it's been too long to yearn
For something that's too far gone to grasp
So are these last year's only pointless laps?
There's no familiar street for me to turn

I'm lost amongst my many false faces
And I can no longer find my own
This is my cross to bare alone
Falling out of my own graces

©2025
 16h abyss
badwords
There was once a child
born beneath the sign
of unburial.

She carried too much—
not in arms
but in tethered memory.
Things with no names,
only weights.

A cracked watch
that ticked in reverse.
A button from a coat
that no one had worn
in three generations.

A feather
from a bird
dreamt once
by her grandmother,
never seen again.

She believed—
as those marked by absence do—
that keeping meant remembering,
and remembering meant
nothing would vanish.

Others crossed her path,
offered to help unfasten the straps.
She refused.
They did not know
which talismans bled
and which only looked like wounds.

So she walked.
Through salt seasons,
through bone-rattling frost,
through forests with no floor
and skies that never asked her name.

The bag grew heavier.
She grew cleverer.
Silent.

And then—
on a day that wasn’t special,
under a sun that wasn’t kind—
she set it down.
Not as surrender.
As an experiment.

The earth did not crack.
The ghosts did not scatter.
Her shadow did not abandon her.

She sifted the contents.
Some were dust.
Some were still singing.
Some curled away like dried petals
and begged to be left behind.

She took a key.
She took the bell.
She left the rest
for the moss.

She walked on.

Not lighter, exactly—
but less governed
by the shape
of her grief.
 16h abyss
Shadows
Our threads pulled apart
but even in the stillness,
I feel you weaving
I never understood life.

Well, who cares –

Life never understood me either.
94
Afraid of
Losing what
I don't
Have

Afraid of
Choosing what
I haven't
Before
 1d abyss
Solaces
Calm nights accompanied by slow healing.
Split seconds of eternity run on by.
Guitar by the burning fire.
Songs of yesterday.
And songs just now written by the fire and me.

Songs of the quiet world.
And the screaming stars above.
They currently cannot outshine the moon.
Which adds a silver glowing ambience only empyreans could paint.

I'm at peace.
I have let all the storms pass on by.
And await the new oncoming ones.
I begin to pocket the stolen time.
Someone once read my words
and told me that I had this ability
to sum up heartbreak so beautifully
I laughed,
shook my head,
and wished I really couldn't.
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