i wish i was a black poet
or a woman with a twisted ankle
even a teenager filled with brooding angst
because then my poems would hold more weight
people would listen
i could recite them with my eyes closed
brow furrowed, talking with fists
my throat swollen with passion
i'd get applause -- an ovation even
for spitting on the microphone at poetry night
blowing the roof off
destroying walls
seeing all rooms at once
instead of despondent laughter
in an empty bar
the clinking of glasses
and the obligatory whisky after.

but i'm white
and only in my twenties
living in a vaccuum
nothing terrible has ever happened to me
sure, i have problems

but who the **** wants to hear about
not learning how to tie my shoes until i was 9?

quitting every sport, not because i was bad
merely because i wasn't the greatest to ever play
and no longer saw the point?

adhd and couch surfing in new orleans?

how hard it was to learn to roll the perfect joint
when i was 17?

the fact that i had an itchy ******* last month
but switched to organic detergent
now it's a field of velvet daffodils down there?

no one's posting youtube videos about
doing laundry on a tuesday
not meeting a pretty girl at the laundromat
instead teaching a mexican boy multiplication tables
and a couple jokes, then leaving with
half your clothes still ***** because you gave the boy
the rest of your change to buy a girl he likes
a pack of her favorite gum tomorrow
or
losing your cell phone until thursday afternoon
then the bill collectors start calling

i have good credit
i bought a used honda last year
at a good interest rate, i haven't missed a payment
i'm never bothered at airport security
i live alone, take my coffee black
or with cream and sugar
write checks and balance a budget
on sunday mornings
hate cats, never vote or testify in court
i went swimming yesterday
laid down in thatched grass, alone
don't smoke anymore
quit drinking too
don't own a boat
time moves so fast
i cook, sometimes with wine
friends seldom visit
i stand on the balcony, naked
my house is quiet
except when it isn't
and jazz floods the kitchen
i dance through the hallway
with an invisible lover
and she drifts silently away
uninterested in my melancholy poem
as i slosh sweetened tea on my bare chest
i hang on
she hangs up

So much  things we learn in the process of  
**Aging

I remember how fast it went.
how everything changed when I started to fall for you.
I think it was a Tuesday that I first realized that I wanted to be around you more
it was the next Wednesday that I realized  liked you.
a month later I thought I was in love
in a year you made crash in burn in depths of the earth
you made me cry
you made me laugh
and to this day I still say your name when I'm thinking about him
its scary how similar you guys are
but you
you were completely different from everyone else
you made me feel different
and that scares me to the depths of my soul.
because you were my biggest regret and my hardest fall.
and you never once said I'm sorry..

The itsy bitsy spider crawled from your darkest dream, caught a fly in his trap, life isn't what it seems.

Up came the sun and washed out all the fear, off flew the fly, kept safe in the web, unlike the gracious spider, who ended up dead.

I've always been amazed at how some people can glide
their fingertips over the surface of a flame without being burned
Whenever I was asked to dip my skin into the heat, I denied.
I never liked to play with fire.
But then,
I met you.

i shook your petals once
watched them fall to the floor.

i shook your petals once
but now i shake them no more.

I should have known
that every smile,
every laugh,
and every joke
was just some false representation.

I should have known
that when you looked at me
it was just a simple, and brief
desire.

I should have known
that I was not someone
who could experience lust
in the way that those
other girls did.  

I should have known
I was only temporary
that even though for those
few moments
when we were inseparable
in the end, for you,
it was like it never happened.  

I should have known
that as soon as
someone better,
someone prettier,
someone more worthwhile
came along,
I would be forgotten.

now I know..