when my heart is done aching
the pain moves to my head
the feelings swarm to my mind
because simmering in my heart
does them no good
at least when they make my head ache
they are allowed to boil over
and be released all at once
captured in headache tears
that once were heartache feelings

I used to bruise easily
both on the inside
and outside
words used to grab
me like a vise
and leave bruises under the skin
mottling my confidence
with their ugly black hue
fists used to bruise
my eyes, my legs, my arms
on the outside of my skin
leaving marks for all to see
but over the years I built up tolerance
nothing bruises me anymore
nothing can cut me anymore
nothing can hurt me when I don't care
anymore

If I were to leave tomorrow,
would you ever remember me?
would you visit my grave -
Is that how you'd remember me?
Or would you turn me
into a poem of yours,
and keep me alive through you?

After breaking everything,
all one can do
is rebuild-
brick by brick.

we sat-
not in silence
but in words
and tears
"I have to leave.
She's making me crazy."

You had better not leave me.












"I won't."

i give up.
i give up.
im done,
i tried,
i did what i could,
i hate this,
i give up.
who cares?
i give up.

If you saw me

unvarnished,

unscripted
would you stay?

You'd know the cost
of loving someone
who's learned to disappear
before she's left.

You might step back.

or worse,

what if you stay?

and see me crumble

in your kindness

I don't know
if I could survive

being loved like that.

This phase in my life,
It's something like a blackout.
No light in sight.

But still...
searching for it.
And gasping,
Gasping for...
air.

I was sitting at a table in a café when she walked in.

I said, “Hey, good-looking stranger— would you like a cup of coffee?”

We were laughing, drinking coffee—

when suddenly, she caressed me.

We were heading straight to the wedding—

then I woke up, needing coffee.

The heart always speaks -

but do we always understand?