I am a protector,
I protect those I hold dear.
But... I sacrifice myself for others,
I have no time for myself.
I lose who I am,
But I protect those I love.
They say that I am too
Brave,
Fierce,
Wise,
And protective.
I am like a treasure map but without the X
I am useless without who I really am,
But I am useless without the people I care for.
So I gave myself up for them.

I love to write poetry
But I’m afraid
I’m afraid of what they’ll think
I’m afraid they’ll think my poetry will **** because of my age
But I’m most afraid of people I know reading my poems
Because then they might see through my walls
Into my broken
Shattered
Messed-up
Crazy life
I don’t want anyone to worry about me
Or to try and protect me
Or fight my battles
Because that’s what I’m supposed to do for them
I’m suppose to worry about others
And shove my problems away
I’m supposed to protect others
And never worry about my pain
I’m supposed to help win their wars
Because I’m already losing my own

I was talking to my best friend today
Out of the blue he quietly said something
The five words I never expected
The five words that now haunt me
The five words I once said to myself
The five words that worry me
The five words keeping me from sleep
The five words that scare me coming from him
The five words I pray won’t happen
The five words I’m afraid will happen
He said
“I want to **** myself”
My eyes started to water when he said it
He saw and said it was a joke
He said his bucket list was too long
But why would he say that
Why would he act so selfish
Why would he want to leave his family and friends
Why would he want to leave me
I need him
I don’t want him to take his life
I wish he knew that those five words
Caused me to cry as soon as I was alone
But I can’t tell him
Because he might want to take his life even more

The sky cannot get through
a day of blue
anymore
...and what happened
to those billows of white
took my mind to flight
in their pure puffy
“Imagine that!”
We had names for our dreams
back then
When nature was art....

We just went with it

You left because I made you feel vulnerable.
I made you feel things you've never felt before,
and you were so scared of what you were feeling
that you made me think I was broken for feeling it too.

i wish i knew before i decided to fall for you.
i wish i knew you weren't going to catch me.
sometimes i'm so stupid,
caring for people who don't care for me.
who won't care for me.
and as i watch you laugh with her,
i feel worse.
i feel *****,
disgusting.
i begin to break myself down
because i know that i will never be
as pretty as her,
or be the reason for your laugh.

it's been said they call it a crush
because it's always the person you
fall for who crushes your heart.

little did i know,
they'd been right all along.

you crushed me.