I heard you moved away
to somewhere warmer
where memories won’t
scar a wounded heart
I heard you’re writing
more often in a
positive light
I heard you found
faith in the solitude
of the desert
I heard you are still
drinking our favourite
red wine
I heard your father
took his own life
I’m sorry for hurting you
I was stained with the
selfishness of youth …
Clay.M

We could sometimes see the Sun
Just before it rise
We would simply have to possess
The right kind of eyes
The ones that see round corners
Or over great bends
And capture past and future
As the universe expands
To the point
When it won't matter
The acuity of our sight
As everything moves so far apart
We'll never see the light
So to us
Creation will seem over
Long before
Darkness replete
When even
Venus is beyond our scope
Our loneliness complete
But of course that will not happen
The earth won't last that long
As our Sun Expands and swallows us
Muting our last song.

I like Irish pubs
Though I am not a drinker
I go there for the music
Come out ye black and tans!

In my solitude
I miss her very much
I know it's an illusion
I don't have any plans

                  Charlotte!

I remember taking us out to dinner
Back Summer time.
You thought it was the last dinner
We would have together.

You thought it was the last time
You would be seeing me.
I remember you digging your nails
Into your skin at the dinner table.

You dug your nails so you could keep yourself
From crying.
I gently guided my fingers under your hand
And stopped what you were doing to yourself.

You didn't resist.
Just prayed the tears wouldn't spill.
I coaxed your nails away.
Such impressions left in your thigh.

I did my best to assure you everything would be okay.
The pain in your eyes, I'll never forget.....
A guilt I still carry.
Try as you might, tears still ran down your cheeks.



Fast forward to Winter...
I was digging a blade
Into my skin.

I dug a serrated edge into my arm
Sitting in my driver seat.
Just prayed the tears wouldn't spill.

The panic attack was the worst one
I found myself gasping hysterically through
The past seven weeks.

As my skin broke, and bled
I could finally **** in
A deep burning pull of breath.

My world hasn't been the same
Since you cut me out of your life.
Since you detached.

I could finally see the road as I drove to safety.
Tears stinging down my sullen face.
...It's been a long time since Teeth and Talons have left their mark.

You were small once.
With wide eyes.

You saw the world.
In an array of colours.

In another life.
You'd be a great inventor.

Instead you grew.
Too fast.
Too soon.

You were born.
To make mistakes.

If only you knew.
If only you flew.

To the world.
You became a flaw.

Your  life was jinxed.
From the beginning.

You weren't born a fighter.
Yet became one in chaos.

You lost everything.
You lost everyone.

Will they ever understand?
All you ever was trying to do?
Was help?

They'll never understand.
The reason you became,
Something else.

Through alcohol my words I stutter
So what if I've turned to another
Vice, don't look twice
On our mistakes, we were meant to break.

And I wish I could still please you
But now I look through
Our veils of betrayal and disappointments
Do you think we can still make amends?

Wish I'd been enough
Wish I didn't catch you laugh
On my pain
Can you handle the blame?

somebody
pour  me a drink
pour me a life
pour me a lie
somebody
tell me
it’s okay to cry.

Why is it
That after every social gathering
My thumbs return home
Bleeding?

I miss you
I love you
I’m drunk
and I can’t think straight

My world is falling apart
Because I can’t stay sober without you