Staring at an old picture of you,
before i made you lose your spark,
wondering how i let you drown in the name of love,

I have the same dream every night
walking around Ely lane holding hands
i kiss your lips that December night
in front of my friends and the crowd goes wild
but i wake up every day and remember
that's not how it happened
no, that's not how it went

i let your hand go and left you in the cold
didn't love you properly and made you think it was your fault
( so you hated yourself )
wondering about what ifs now knowing it won't change the ending
but that doesn't stop me from dreaming of a different ending

couldn't be a better man for you so now I watch
as they put you in a white dress and lower you to the ground
and I promise to hate myself forever in this moment
for all the things i did to you but mostly for the things i didn't.

COME KISS YOUR LITTLE  TRAGEDY ONE LAST TIME,
BURY ME IN A WHITE DRESS AND TELL THEM IT WAS LOVE,
THINK I'D LIKE THE SOUND OF MY BONES BREAKING WHILE THE SKIES WATCH,
YOUR NAME IN MY MOUTH  AS I HIT THE GROUND,
AND  I DRAW AIR FOR THE LAST TIME  ,

BECAUSE YOU DON'T DESERVE TO STAND THERE DRY
WHEN I DROWNED FOR YOU,
SO I'M MAKING YOU  SHOUT MY NAME ONE LAST TIME  
AS YOU WATCH MY LIFE FLY OUT ,

BUT NO, I WON'T OPEN MY EYES THIS TIME AROUND,
BLOOD ON THE CONCRETE,
YOUR HANDS SHAKING OVER ME,
AND MAYBE THEN YOU'D FINALLY CRY

Invented languages in crowded rooms,
through secret glances.
My flushed cheeks made your mouth curve up
secret meetings hidden from the world.

Now that I look back, it got me thinking:
you didn’t break the promise of forever.
Because sometimes, forever is only a moment.
Your touch —was my apricity in a Russian winter.

Glowing cheeks, bright eyes
you, who made me love the girl in the mirror,

yet cannot show up anywhere
blurry eyed with people in sight,
as we were each other’s greatest secret.

The ring  that you gave
made my finger blue
it was suffocated it was bruised
tried to rip it off most nights
but it didn't come off yeah it never budged
and one day it did and the next i missed it
     the bruise started to heal it went purple then yellow
but there stayed a line an indentation of what we went through  
in the finger with the vein to my heart  
some nights when the world gets to me
i look at it  - the mark that you left
then suddenly I'm craving you
like air underwater
and it makes me want to swim back to you
we both  know i won't survive the tides
yet the love vein's pulling me back to you .

You who loved me so dearly,
You who loved me so fiercely,
What happened? Tell me,
Was it something I did? Tell me,
you took away all the love that you gave ,
now I’m on the floor crying and begging ,
to a fading phantom of you cause you are already gone.

I beg you not to go,
I hold on to the memory of you a little more.
Stay, I beg, please stay, I pray,
But you don’t hear me pleading,
you have forsaken me

You told me you want to move
To a place where we'll never meet by chance ,
You already made me a distant memory in your heart ,
So I Scream to a  boy that swore me forever
scream into the void that was once ours .

You took all the warmth in this place when you left,
So now I shiver and cry, drowning  in pain and shame.