I liked the color red
So, I cut myself open
I hated myself
So, I relied on others devotion
There comes a point in life
When you think you need the knife
Cause you really thought you were broken
I stay in a state
Stuck where my minds set to survive
Where I just need to stay awake
Stay healthy and stay alive
Because when you're broken beyond repair
And your mind has no manual
And that fit of depression
No longer becomes annual
You say “what the hell”
And throw it all away
Your relationships die out
Your texts are just “Oks”
I liked the color blue
So, I forced myself to drown
I hated disappointing others
So, I hid my famous frown
With my head in the clouds
And my mind bleeding out
I turned to silence
Not a cry or a shout
Green's a peaceful color
But it can get pretty annoying
I thought I was being productive,
But it’s myself I was exploiting
They thought I was pretty
People preoccupied by my purity
A praetor of perfection
But now I’ve lost my security
I liked the color orange
So, I kept myself occupied
Submerged myself in lights and loud noises
My mind colonized
I find something peaceful in panic attacks
Feeling the air leave my lungs
Eyes wild
Feeling shaky cries abandon my tongue
Colors spin in my brain
Painting my thoughts
A mess of swirling shades
That contribute to my memory loss
Red,
Blue,
Orange,
A terrifying view
A terrifying truth
Something that can’t be spoken
I hate the color red
Yet I still cut myself open