once a month
when you feel like ****
just become a potato
today i was a russet

- long and large,
with a thick, rough skin
not ashamed to say i had
a high starch amount within

i can be eaten mashed, boiled, or baked
the latter is easier from my tolerance break

today i did nothing

and that's ok

this is not a poem.
this is an idea next to a blank canvas
it is up to you to make it your own

think about it -
maybe you could write about
the relation between the faded white hues of chef boyardee's hat and the color of the used car?
or maybe about Mr. Boyardee negotiating with the Jeep salesman, bribing him with Chef Boyardee © branded ravioli?

think about the different scenarios
make this idea happen

freeverse, limerick, haiku
whatever you wish to do

YOU are the chosen one

good luck.

how foolish of me to think it could last
feels so slow yet somehow so fast
and as i wondered when the time had past
all the red flags returned to full mast
without a trace you were gone in a flash
the flags turned white and i surrendered at last

this year for halloween
im going as a slice of cheese
so i can scare people
with puns

now how do i begin?
o-que, so

i walk down the halloumi and see
my friends colby and jack

colby's dressed as a camembear
scary enough to make you go emmental

jack's dressed as the Cheshire cat
who listens to baroquefort

we all sit down paneer the window

"so teleme," i ask, "what's gouda?"

"i'll tell you what's gouda," jack replies eagerly,
"see that girl over there, fonTina?"

how could i swiss her, i thought, with her looks and her cheddar, she could make it gruyere down there out of even the LEAST manchego of men

"go talk to her, jack, it'll be a brieze"

"no whey man!"

"yes whey"

"man i'm too anxious, i'd rather talk on the mascarphone"

"what do you mean, you're the goat!"

"we can'tal be buff-alo like you, why don't you talk to her?"

"already dating monterey"

"i didn't know you swung both wheys"

"sometimes i feel like my sexuality was madE backwards"

"alright that's enough!" jack stammered. "i'm fetup with these puns! it was fun at first but it's gotten annoying. some of this **** doesn't even make any sense! just go man, nobody wants you here."

colby and i exchanged a solemn glance
i turned to jack
"..................ricotta be kidding me!"

"LEAVE!" jack screamed, and i turned and walked away


now it's time i asiago home
feeling blue, heading back to my cottage
sad and provolone

james has got **** in his mind
he's discovered people of his kind
two in the pink
one in the stink
and "Oh, what's that from behind?"

Earth, Sep 30, 2021 /AlienNewswire/ -- Subject: A6P9E

one hand on the keyboard, the other in a doritos bag
fiercely staring at his screens, cursing any signs of lag

unrelenting focus lights his eyes, oblivious to any world outside
engaged in only lines and rectangles, rectangles and lines

every human minute, a new rectangle appears
the green ones are good, but the reds bring him fear

clenching all orifices
a mouse-click
a new rectangle
more lines
it's green
another mouse-click
pure elation

with a sigh of relief, the subject waddles over to his 69th monitor, just delivered by an Amazon drone
he powers it up and immediately starts watching ****
because one addiction isn't enough apparently

- reported by Jack Ma the Alien, sent to papa Elon via Neuralink