Oh say, can you see?
As they carve up your rights
Ideals once proudly held,
Now lay gasping and bleeding.
Future pride and bright hopes
Face a perilous might;
Those who rampage through life,
Destroying and feeding.
Through the raucous and flare
Declaring justice “unfair”,
Lacking proof that they’re right,
But they don’t seem to care.
Oh say, do you still think yourselves free and brave?
Or is it the land of the fee
And the home of the depraved?

Absolve me of my temperament.
Absolve me of my tears.
Dissolve my personality,
My vast, expanding fears.

Absolve misguided sentiments.
Forgive each frustrated flow.
Leave me unnoticed and unfettered.
Unchained. At peace. Alone.

Resolve my intuition,
And forgive hypocrisy.
Absolve me of my unseen sins,
And free me of belief.

Absolve my broken promises.
Absolve my broken mind.
Forgive me for my cruelties,
And for all imagined crimes.

Absolve me of my selfish wounds.
Ignore those that are not.
Absolve me of my slumber,
And of all that I’ve forgot.

Absolve me of vexation.
Forgive me, part of whole.
Absolve me of the darkness
That now lurks within my soul.

I’m lost in sweet memory. In spirit I’m there.
I ache with such strong longing that I have no other care.
I feel sprightly. I feel spry. At once my whole body swoons.
This morning, be high. Let’s **** after noon.

I feel all the flutters, long gone, ever there.
I bathe in your essence. I breathe in your air.
I see the horizon. I devour the moon.
My temperature’s rising. Let’s **** after noon.

Make me arch. Make me twist. Make me tremble and moan.
I still feel you inside me, even when I’m alone.
Oh sensations! You send me the greatest of boons.
Your liquids you’ll lend me. Let’s **** after noon.

I draw on the past. Happy heat fills my head.
Such strength cannot last. Let’s spend it instead.
Lend me some minutes, and let’s find a room.
Body cries, “nothing in it!” So let’s **** after noon.

Often focused on spirit, now I hunger for form.
And when at last I am near it, supple muscle, flesh, and sweet warmth.
I spread ever eager.
Feed my fervour and fever.
Naught else do I know,
But needs must be met soon.
Force my falsetto,
When we **** after noon.

A prickly and inflamed small creature slinks out of the sludge to see the world.
A broken body and broken mind spread out at rest, dark tendrils unfurled.

The shimmering lifts and causes light to leak into the soul.
A music box sounds off- filling space and time, achieving its goal.

Surrounded, still and silent.
At once tested, rested, then gone.
Impulses dark and violent.
Later scattered, tattered and drawn.

Brought to tears by nothing when everything is wrong.
Creaky, creaky, creature creeps.
I see it,
Then it’s gone.

A being so yielding,
Yet so easy to break.
Soul’s component so rare
It must be a mistake.

Here on the outside,
The inside seems gangrene.
And there’s no one
I’ve known
That knows
What I mean.

Quench your rage with cooking oil,
With powder, or with ***.
Whatever way you quench your rage,
Our world will soon be done.

Calm your nerves with nicotine.
Use narcissism, or use noise.
It will not matter what you’ve used,
When all the world’s destroyed.

How can it be that a single caress
Is enough to flood my banks?
Before your glorious being
I get down on my knees,
Open wide,
And offer thanks.

And when you become
Overwhelmed by my gratitude,
And when a thirst begins to bother.
I’ll lead you to where
You might find a drink,
And nourish you on my water.

And from your warmth and suckle
A burning, squeezing hunger
Between my thighs.
I grip your hair,
And try to hold your stare,
And I beg for your flesh inside.

I exhale as though air
Were ripped from my lungs.
I inhale in much the same way.
I feed on your strength,
I breathe in your love.
I can face another day.

I feel your moaning purr,
And your lapping tongue,
And the way you **** and caress.
I beg again for what
I know I must have,

For what mercy I know will come next…

Do I wish to live among them?
Sometimes “yes”, most often “no”.
In that mix of grazers grazing,
Until they’re told it’s time to go.
Would I let them sheer me?
Feed me? Breed me?
In some other life,
Perhaps, who knows?
But terms like “trending topics”
Tend to wound my very soul.
And only rarely have I found another
Who can understand my goal.

But halt!

I fear that I can take no more,
My cup has already overflowed.

Should not art be aspirational?
Why then, this sketch of our most putrid places?

Should not art be sensational?
Why then, these small feelings and forlorn faces?

Should not art be an escapade?
Why then, tread only on familiar ground?

Should not art make you feel afraid,
Elated, enraged, or at least something more than flat and drowned?

Should not art be sincere expression?
Why then, is there nothing found here to call relevant?

And when art is thoughtful impression,
Should it not reveal a truth not immediately evident?

There need not be beauty,
Perhaps not even soul.

But if mere pale entertainment,
Should we call it “art” at all?

How differently we wear our hate,
But how similar the fabric.
Through ages,
Across seas.

Voices call out different names,
But drip an equal venom,
This one purple,
That one green.

How much must be coated in filth
Before the state be declared entire?

Must no innocent inch remain?

A massive abundance on a gentle breeze.
Oh, how the clouds seem to move with ease.
Smooth and certain across the sky.
A visual feast for a hungry eye.

Thick grey centres, with edges soft and unkempt.
Oh, to be in that world of which I’ve only dreamt.
To feel the cool wetness I imagine I’d feel
If I could break gravity, and be in the clouds for real.

I swim endless in despair
So that I do not drown in it.
I breathe only to breathe.

I am suspended in sunlight with no warmth.
I am surrounded by notes that make no melody.
I fumble, falter, fail.

Heavy as a raindrop whose cold
Penetrates deeply into loneliness
Is the air, the light, the lingering.

I forget too much.
I remember too much.
I am too much, and not enough.

A shallow pool is that in which we swim
A void wants only to be filled.
Misery takes us all.

There are those who shout loudly for human rights,
But they’ve misplaced the bullseye for that fight.
Falsely believing that their sight is long,
But misaligned convictions can still be strong.

I hear the patter and clatter of clapping horse feet.
Tips of glue, carrying pounds of meat.
Transportation, labour, food, or tool.
An atrocity to fight for a hopeful fool.

To stop and think.
To feed and free.
Steps to take, though measuredly.

An occasional hit.
First one then another.
A way to cope,
With ourselves,
With each other.

An open dialogue on common ground.
A way to bring the temperature down.

But there’s no need to fuss,
And who ever wanted to be rude?

We all feel that we know what’s right,
But when we reflect we just might

Find that our actions
Aren’t always
In accord with our attitudes.

A painted window, the light shines through,
Connecting all the comfort anyone can gain from you.
A broken promise, a heavy veil.
I see no way to get us through this when everything’s for sale.

Don’t sell me solace.
Don’t sell me sympathy.
Don’t show me all the things you think that I might wanna see.
Don’t sell me fire.
Don’t sell me gold.
Don’t preach to me your sick morality.
I think it’s gaunt and old.
Don’t sell me solace.

They sell their silence. They’d sell their soul.
They sell out all of our salvation just to seek some selfish goal.
They won’t heed history. Can’t sacrifice.
Evaluate the mystery, and your blood might turn to ice.

Don’t sell me solace.
Don’t sell me sympathy.
Don’t tell me I’m the things you think that I might wanna be.
Don’t sell me fire.
Don’t sell me gold.
Don’t share with me your sick sensations
With eyes so dead and cold.
Don’t sell me solace.

The approach is fast,
The trickle slow.
Softly seeping down below.

A violent end.
A peace not past.
You, bending steel. Me, breaking glass.

What was dampened
Once, abruptly clears.
May fortune favour golden years.

A block of ice
Cannot endure.
At last, find footing firm and sure.

Now brilliant, shines
An endless sky.
Inspires distinction of truth from lie.

Elated! Joyful! Then dropped
A darkly veiled mask.
Ground is near, approaching fast.

I know well enough,
How to play the game,
That I can blend in with the crowd.

I know what things
Should bring me shame
And which ought to make me proud.

I would be alert
-If not all the time,
For in the fog there’s much to miss.

And it’s only when
His eyes meet mine
That I fear the reaper’s kiss.

I can wear the face
I’m expected to,
And you’d never know it didn’t fit.

When I take it off,
As I’m apt to do,
I never quite know what to do with it.

It’s a social game,
As it’s always been.
It’s not the kind that you win or lose.

But the kind you play,
As light-hearted children,
Before you perceive any mountains to move.

I hear the talk,
“World’s getting meaner”.
And over decades, said over again.

But the grass has never
Really been any greener,
I think the shade was just different back then.

I am the freak of nature
That nurture has shaped oblong.
I am the sum of high ideals
That turned out to all be wrong.

The sole of a shoe never worn,
But cast onto the midden heap.
Covered in filth it never trod upon
Receiving yields it did not reap.

And I have learned to be patient with death,
With its anticipation,
And with its effects.

The rain pounds through everything.
The earth fills up.
Who would complain, refrain!
Reevaluate your luck.

Flesh melts and burns, it isn’t real,
But a future not so far off.
I see coiled springs, and reactive things,
And sick speculations rule my thoughts.

Gods help us all.

A devil drawls. A siren shrieks.
The masses spit and shout.
A dried up tear for who cannot speak.
No light can lead us out.

The story will not change,
And the ruler won’t relent.
Mere reluctance makes revolution not,
And all my thoughts are spent.

Gods help us all.

Fingers into fontanelles.
Wordsmith weaves a weary spell.
A thought provoked to pluck and explore.
But have you ever thought before?

Ideas reflected time & again,
To philosophize or merely pretend.
Walking over & over through that same door.
And have you ever thought before?

It’s hazy. It’s yellow.
It spins and confuses.
It finds all the elements
Intellect uses.

It’s a smell.
It’s a memory.
It’s a comforting chill.
It’s a clever confusion
To wrap up our will.

It’s stagnant,
Yet vibrant.
It’s scathing,
Yet kind.
It’s the resources I’ve spent
To leave pain behind.

I’ll ask the gods to take my ears,
When they’re drowned in mournful cries.
And when they’ve seen too much suffering,
And too much pain, I’ll ask that they take my eyes.

Then to the gods, I’ll give my voice,
For it squeaks impotent here on earth.
Next cruel gods, I give my soul,
Though it’s found badly damaged,
And of little worth.

So I call to the gods, and I call out to Man.
For virtue! For justice! For calm.
To the wind I attend, and with the wind I wait,
But I’ve found that the gods have all long gone…

I fear ego.
Do I fear it too much to see it?

I fear conceit.
Do I abuse myself too much in effort to avoid it?

What is it that I crave?
What eye do I desire?

What rhythm moves me so?
And does the feeling hold me, thrill me?

Though the night is dark and cold,
It’s not the wind that chills me.

Would I choose my judge?
Would he be too kind?

I justify the search for satisfaction.
I fret; I do not satisfy.

Is it right to judge the world?
Is it our responsibility?

As my skin grows dry, and bones grow old,
It’s not the wind that chills me.

It’s not alright to be yourself.
You have only what no one wants.

I won’t get very far.
I’ll move neither swiftly, nor surely.

Be annoying quietly.
You can’t know what that tells me.

I looked back. How far did I see?
It was not the wind that chilled me.

Should I fear the chaos I love to feed?
What denial is enough to stave off greed?

I recoil in terror equally
From ego or mediocrity.

He likes the sound of other women.
I’m electric with insecurity.

As I take the thought and let it in,
It’s not the wind that chills me.

Tais-toi, petite souris!
Le chat veut prendre ton vie.
Il a bu tous le lait,
Et il va rester,
Et attendra ton mari.


English alternative (non-literal):

Be quiet, little mouse!
A cat has entered the house.
He drank the bowl dry,
And will sleep nearby,
While he waits to chase your spouse.

I discover myself, tiny, bean-shaped on the tiled floor.
Raised to my knees the edge of the counter feels deadly.

Thank the gods, not this.

The mirror stares back at my shame with only wet redness.

I look at the offending object.
Well, that could have been worse.

I look to the ground.
Well, that could have been worse.

The effort required to hold back against the floor worries me.

I kept it cool. There is no mark.

I discover all of us.

We are as leaves floating in a puddle.
We rot.
We may become adhered to a shoe,
Or squished into the ground,
But we know we are rotting.

Let the rain fall down.
Let the sky turn black.
Let the world know
I’ll
Not be
Coming back.

Let the rain fall down.
Let the world turn to ash.
Let the sky split open. I’m
Never
Coming
Back.

Let the rain fall down.
Let the sky turn black.
Let the world know
That I’ll
Not be
Coming back.

Let the rain fall down.
Let the world turn to ash.
Let the sky rip open. I’m
Never
Coming
Back.

Let the rain
Fall
Forever

Let the sky
Tear
In two.

Let the earths crust crumble, I
Won’t come back to you…

Forward.
Reveal the sweat.
Tingling throughout,
Until the wind meets the wet.

Sipping.
Put down the weight.
Comforting taste,
While the whole sky waits.

Thinking.
Losing the train.
Cut the skull open
And examine the brain.

Into the wild woods I’ll wander
To find the whimsy I seek.
I’ll jump right out at you!
Unless around you, I sneak.

Through the brambles and tangles
I’ll make my advances,
And try to decipher
Some flat, subtle glances.

When the smell of the season
Seeks to haunt my poor head,
And I know of no reason
To part from my bed.

When the images are stitched,
But somehow grow as a seed,
I’ll embrace the journey,
And get lost in the ****.

The reflections we saw,
Were they yours, ours, or mine?
Were I to unlock your eyes
Would they open up mine?

If I stayed awake forever
Could I feast on the moon?
Were I to aide your endeavour
Would you think it a boon?

When the truth lies beneath sludge
Under a murky, dark pond,
I’ll temper my grudge.
And try to move right along.

When life lights up too little
There’s a treatment I need,
With the ice and the water,
I’ll get lost in the ****.

Measure your worth by your wealth.
Measure success in deaths.
He who is great
Will be he who subjugates
The poor, the pitiable, the powerless.

Carve your name in their flesh.
Carry your flag on your breast.
With each passing day
Force more others to say
That your way alone is the best.

Measure the truth by its traction.
Measure the weight on tipped scales.
Those who disagree
Will be those who will see
That in opposition, they fail.  

Measure your life by your lies.
Contrast and compare them throughout.
But whatever you do,
When your life is through,
Remember this was your only way out.

Fumble, falter, fail to fight.
The dusk is here, relieved by night.

Doubting, dreading, doubling down.
A shadow takes the hardened ground.

Careful, costly, a cloud at night.
Just can’t seem to get my head right.

Open, owning, and owing to
A pillar of strength forged by two.

Critters crawling, comfort found.
Perhaps this thing just turned around.

Honest, honoured, hailed the fight.
Cannot seem to get my head right.

Ejected, dejected, deflated flat.
Whoever heard of a hero like that?

Awkward, agile, always aware.
Too many thoughts, but not one to spare.

Pointed, pictured, pursued the light.
But I can’t seem to get my head right.

You can drown in your perversions.
You can stew in your thick hate.
You can find your enemies surround you,
And them, annihilate.

You can bathe in your own prejudice.
You can reach for your release.
You can tar and feather trinkets,
If you don’t destroy my peace.

You can open every wound you’ve had.
You can blame it on the rain.
You can coat yourself in fervour
Until you finally go insane.

You can hope for their destruction.
You can poison their recipes,
But in your own cake’s construction
Don’t you dare destroy my piece.

But peace is an illusion.
And which piece will finally fit?
In the pain of their collusion
What chance that peace will finally stick?

You can wonder what they’re thinking.
You can judge and reprimand.
But in the cloud of sweat and stinking
Hate is all that makes you stand.

You can hope and pray for silence.
You can hope and pray for fire.
When you shovel coals of violence
Hate seems all that you desire.

Behind your gas masks and your rhetoric
You can make faces at their fleas.
You can step on every snail you want,
But don’t destroy my peace.

You can lock their thoughts in cages.
You can manifest disease.
You can curse the fallen ages,
If you don’t destroy my peace.

But peace is an illusion.
And which piece will finally fit?
In the pain of their collusion
What chance that peace will finally stick?

And that peace was only ever an illusion.

No tear will fall to earth where we lay our final grave.
No history will tell the tale of a people just and brave.
And we will not resolve compassion with our casual consumption.
And we will have no time to reflect upon our anger and presumptions.

For when the end is in our sight we’ll do naught but close our eyes.
And when we hear of what they’ve done we’ll act as though surprised.
As they hold us to the barrel they will point and say, “look there”.
Before tired eyes and with weary minds are treats and tortures everywhere.

We concern ourselves with “p”s and “q”s. We worry loudly over words.
When true evil comes we’ll name it not. If we can’t speak it, it can’t be heard.
Shout destitution! Shout oppression! Shout ******! Shout ****!
Carpet others over. If none breathe, none will escape.

Our conscience we will cover in catchy slogans and perfumes.
We’ll be sheltered by our comforts, hiding in well-decorated rooms.
Making light of it casts light on things we seem to at once see and yet not see.
But each and every time the light is cast anew we cry, “this cannot be!”

We’ll spend ourselves on triviality. We’ll spend ourselves on skin.
We will not see the deadly spider thanks to the tangled web it spins.
Humanity’s death comes quickly, at the behest of it’s own bloodthirsty applause.
Through distraction we will ***** us out, without justice, and without cause.

First she told me to wait,
Then she said it’s a game.
And as I heard the voices
Call out for souls, well,
Every call was my name.

So I stepped through the fog
Into that murky mire.
And the next thing I know
From my head to toe
I was covered in fire.

But she told me to wait.
And she said it’s a game,
And if you give it ten minutes more, man,
You’re gonna feel the same.

First I felt a cold chill.
I beheld a serpent’s stare.
I was losing my will,
Frightened but still
I trusted the wind like a leaf in the air

So I stood like a stone,
And I felt all alone.
And the moment that I
Felt the shadow inside
I knew I would never see home.

Cause she told me to wait.
And she said it’s a game,
And if you give it five minutes more, man,
You’re gonna feel the same.

She said she had what I need,
And knew my depths of desire.
I felt the pit of me stir
When I knew I’d prefer
To blindly believe that she wasn’t a liar.

She picked my pieces apart,
Then she poisoned my heart.
And that’s when I knew
That nothing was true
I cried out inside and I begged for the start.

I was a puddle and pile
That’s when she turned to smile.
With the sweet on her maw
She saw what I saw.
I thought she wouldn’t be back for a while.

But she told me to wait.
And she said life’s a game.
And if you give it one minute more, man,
You can get up
And follow
The tracks of my train.

You know, she told me to wait.
Then she said it’s a game.
And if you give it ten seconds more, man,
You’re gonna feel
You’re gonna feel
You’re gonna feel…
The same.

We set the example,
And accept the results.
At least until we can make it
Our enemies’ faults.

What’s bad for the goose
Is surely bad for the gander.
And Mother Earth cannot take
All the trash that we hand her.

Mother Nature, nervously,
Clears a dry throat.
Though many torments seem trivial
When held up to the boats.

Would anyone notice if my world stopped it’s rotation?
Would I change in some way? Would I need more or less consultation?
And haven’t I changed? Is there something further to fix?
And sometimes I don’t even like music.

If I raise my head high enough will it stay above water?
If I focus enough will I see clearer and farther.
And if I’m smart enough will I see all of their tricks?
What if sometimes I don’t even like music?

I have cared far too much, but don’t I now care too little?
Have I ever been firm, or always flimsy and brittle?
Now what hat can I wear? What role truly fits?
Will it matter if I don’t even like music?

Have my passions changed, or have they just disappeared?
Will I be forgiven if I’m forevermore sullen and weird?
What’s already faded and fallen can neither brighten nor stick.
And these days I don’t even like music.

But I have seen the clouds part on the darkest of days.
I have greeted the ALL with hurrahs and hurrays!
And I’ve even begun to see the beauty in it.
Still, sometimes I don’t even like music.

Let the vultures pick our bones.
Let them grow too fat to fly away.
Let a quiet calm fill the air.
Let fade those things our distain might say.

Let me drown my sorrows so that I do not drown in them.

Leave each transmission unreceived.
Leave the roots to reclaim the soil.
Leave opinion and presumption
Where they have no soul to spoil.

Leave me to drown my sorrows so that I do not drown in them.

Allow some understanding for
Those you do not understand.
Show compassion to your enemies,
And make requests of your demands.

Allow me to drown my sorrows so that I do not drown in them.

I feel the prickles on my skin, and the tingling in my spine.
I know that there’s a voice he hears, and I know it isn’t mine.
I temper my self-torture, for I know there are no stakes.
But I fear he likes the sounds that other women make.

I warm and bathe in worry. I feed my envy and it grows.
I boil and seethe over, and hope my anguish never shows.
I temper my reactions, for I fear imminent  mistakes.
When I see he likes the sounds that other women make.

I feel some sort of sadness, and feel compelled to make it hate.
I know these thoughts of mine are madness, but imagined wounds can’t be erased.
I clench, and my fists clutch, and I hope that my bones break,
So I’ll forget he likes the sounds that other women make.

I lose sight of my sanity, letting my fragile ego break.
I lament it might provoke in me my gravest faults to date.
I dwell and I obsess, and wonder how much I can take
When I face the fact he likes the sounds that other women make.

This strange soul calls to mine,
Alluring, fascinating, vexing.
This strange pull, as a rapid wind,
Somehow pushing, still pulling, and taxing.

Strange spirit speaks a foreign tongue.
I speak with no tongue at all.
I would give my soul, my heart, a lung
To stop its decay. Here leaves in fall.

Strange spirit presses soft, then firm.
My spirit falters often.
Strange spirit ever lives and learns,
Cradle, sky, to coffin.

Voices saying nothing.
Never stopping.
Maybe we’ll crash.
Maybe I’ll fly.

Music from nowhere
“I feel bad for her fiancée or whatever he is”
I know your face.
I’ve seen your insides.
Maybe I’ll fly.

Empty eyes.
Empty smile.
“Like no offence to her but she’s too shy”
Maybe we’ll crash.
Maybe I’ll fly.

Pounds to tons.
Routine to chaos.
Maybe we’ll die,
But maybe I’ll fly.

With sunlight sparse, and the world dark
You shine golden and gorgeous. My spirit ascends.
The glittering glow of your brilliance touches me gently, and the long darkness ends.

When bitterness overwhelms me
I lose hope, reference, reverence, and appetite.
You are the sweetness in my mouth that dances on the tongue and makes it all right.

While there is no nourishment for body or soul,
You are the honey that fills my hive.
You see me through the long cold winter.
You sustain my vitality.
You keep me alive.

Take out everything.
Tear it all out of me.
Take out everything.
Rip it all out of me.

Take what you need.
Tear it all out of me.
Take what you need.
Rip it all out of me.

But you only feel it on the outside.
You wanna leave it where it stands.
You feel the squish and kick it aside.
And hope that no one understands.

You hear the yell.
You ring the bell.
You fight the battle.
But no one knows just what you want.

You scream the scream.
You rip seam.
You grip the paddle.
And no one knows what house you haunt.

But you only feel it on the outside.
It never gets under your skin.
You take your hate and put it in your pride,
‘Cause that’s the only way you’ll win.

Let out an impotent scream,
When nothing’s quite what it seemed.
You cry out, “victim of circumstance”.

You’re caught up on your hate.
Ignore mistakes that you’ve made.
All your misfortunes were merely chance.

But you only feel it on the outside.
You turn your head. You look away.
You favour peace for only one side.
I guess there’s nothing more to say…

Every interaction,
Whether fleeting or with traction,
Leads to some unforeseen action
That can cause a gaping wound.

Everyone you meet,
At your desk or in the street,
Could result in some great feat
You feel is over much too soon.

And it’s easy to lay blame,
At the ones who knew your name,
But who aren’t acting quite the same
As you’ve come to expect them too.

It’s far too easy to be the one
Whom the world has made undone,
Through the thoughtless actions of someone
That you really thought you knew.

But whether weathered by wicked words,
That were thrown at you, or overheard,
It’s really very quite absurd
To expect anything different in this game.

You know, it isn’t really about you,
Those pointed things they say and do,
That can only lead you to,
Anger, hate, and shame.

So when you feel you’re shrinking small,
And that you can’t handle it at all,
Walk through that illusory wall!
Be and do what you want to!

Remember they’re out of your control.
Don’t take it seriously. It’s drôle.
For only you can make you whole,
Or hold any power over you.

There is no purple in my berry.
The winter’s cold. It is not merry.
There is no song left still to sing.
The summer’s gone. There is no spring.

There is no colour in the sky.
There is no answer to the “why”.
A songbird sings. There are no notes.
The words we say don’t leave our throats.

And when we yearn, there’s no relief.
There may be faith. There’s no belief.
There is anger stirred up without cause,
For there is not what once there was.

Try to think of things
You might not have thought
Deserved consideration.

Maintain your poise.
Tune out the noise.
Tune into your own station.

Challenge what you think and feel.
Try your best to live up to your own ideals.

Do not
Become the rot
In your own foundation.

You may want to be the same
In thought and function,
Form and name,
But let me be diverse.

You may choose a path and hold it true,
And that may be what’s best for you,
But let me choose my course.

And when you feel the urge to fight,
Or prove your point
To prove you’re right
Pause to gaze upon the starry night,
And feel your true place in the universe.

I am weak, petty, small.
I am the torturer of all.
My tendrils close around your neck.
I kick your feet out,
And you fall.

I strike you through as you descend.
I twist your mind.
Your spirit bends.
Actions inflict pain.
Words lack respect.
I pull back to strike you through again.

I exhaust your mind, tear your soul, leaving not a nerve to rend.
Absently abusive, and stretched.
Twisted in violence, bent.

I create pain implicitly, just as I expect.
And I inflict the torture that I never, ever meant.

Let Me inflict the torture that I never, ever meant.

I am the smog that suffocates you.
The weight around your neck that pulls you down.  
I am the words to humiliate you.
To push your face and soul into the ground.

I know that I will always love you,
Even as the knife comes down.
Never meant to put my needs above you.
The spear I ****** in won’t come out.

Please forgive me.
Please forgive me.
Please forgive me now.

I am the tool that tortures you.
That finds your soft spots and makes them bruise.
I am the score that marks against you.
That takes you down, that makes you lose.

Please forgive me.
Please forgive me
Please forgive me now.

I walk a level wire, and I take each step with care.
To the right a sea of rage, and left an ocean of despair.
If I fail to keep my balance I may never step again.
If I stumble, if I falter, then the fall may never end.

I keep a level head by pretending nothing’s there.
I focus on the moment, never guessing how I’ll fare.
If I’m fractured, torn and broken I may have no strength to mend.
So I walk the wire slowly. When I can’t smile I’ll pretend.

Though each step sinks deeply into flesh I cannot stop advancing.
Though some resolve may harden fast, every single time it’s glancing.
And when I watch the distance it seems the journey has no end.
So I walk the wire carefully. I hold my breath, then step again.

A deafening bang. A blinding flash.
A tortured scream, then malicious laugh.

We are magic.
Are we are monsters?

Come here; compassion barely holds.
And without passion care is cold.
All love leads to sacrifice.
We have the virtue to chose our vice.

Are we magic?
Are we monsters?

There is conviction in the heart of man.
There is beauty in his eye.
But the sums of soft concerns sound loudly
To drown out harder crimes.

We are magic; we are monsters.

We tell our “truths”.
They paint our world.
We’re practiced.
We’re patient.
We’re porous.

We are magic. We are monsters.

What destruction to my soul!

What life removed!

What right have I to sit here and feel nothing?
What chance?

The point of horrors past and future horrors dodged give no more comfort than does vindication.

I would be wrong to make it right.

What chance I’ll reach the end?

I am torrential.
I am still.
I am a haven, and a killing field.

What chance I’ll reach the end?

I am hot ash.
I’m far too cold.
I’m tarnished; I cannot be gold.

I could be a souvenir, but am a memory best lost.
A thorn in every side.
A coin once clutched, but best if tossed.
A condemned amusement ride.

What chance I’ll reach the end?

I’m shaken till I shatter.
I’m numb until I mend.
Shake and shatter.
Shake and shatter.
Shake and shatter; numb again.

What right have I to sit here and feel nothing?

What right?

What choice?

What chance?

I am a well, almost dry, from which no lasting life has sprung.
I am an object of no desire.
I am a short and miscalculated sum.

I give no comfort; joyless, for I am an empty ***.
The numbness never passes.
I am a fire that burns, but never gets hot.

And I will take the blame,
For it’s all that I see offered me.

No matter your perspective, or the strength of your connections,
In the dark,
In the silence,
We are all of us alone.

If you’re part of a collective, if you share strong predilections,
Whether hopeful,
Whether hateful,
We’re, in all our truth, alone.

And I will take the blame,
For it’s all that I see offered me.

I no longer bend.
I only break.
I see no further
Steps to take.
And every thought
Seems a mistake.

And I will take the blame,
For it’s all that I see offered me.

I never got to know me,
And now there’s little of me left.
But I cannot cry injustice,
Or brutality, or theft.

It was merely that I hid behind
Whatever I could find.
And how could I think to reach myself
When I’ve never really known my mind.

I know he loves me, though I know not why.
And the voice inside is cruel and cold.
I scrape it out. It builds again.
I create new wounds out of those that are old.

And I will take the blame,
For it’s all that I see offered me.

My words are wrong.
My thoughts are wrong.
My perspective is a mess of sand.

I can’t **** the parts selectively,
But I can **** it all,
Or else make it bland.

And I will take the blame,
For it’s all I ever could see offered me.