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  Feb 2019 Sunflower Girl
Joliver
If there was one word
One word, isolated by itself
That I cannot stand above all others
It would have to be "Okay"
I despise "Okay"
"Okay"
Is how your millionth day at work went
"Okay"
Is off-brand raisin bran
"Okay"
Is how you say life is going
When you don't want to admit you spend
Every second of it
Wanting to die

"Okay"
Is packed to the brim with
Hidden implications
Like a treasure chest
Filled with bottles
With little subliminal hatreds
Written on tiny slips of paper
Passively aggressively pushed inside
To discover later
As I pull out a treasure map
And try to decipher
Where I went wrong

"Okay"
Is a one word dismissal
That feels like an essay a thousand pages long
"Okay"
Is a poison dripping with disinterest
When I dared to share with you
Something I thought might make you smile
"Okay"
Is like trying to talk to a wall
While watching the paint on it dry
"Okay"
Takes two seconds to write
Yet I waited days
For that dreaded word
To grace my notifications
"Okay"
Should be used sparingly
As if each time you send it
You **** the receiver just a little bit
"Okay"
Should not be said so often that
I know what you're about to say
Like I saw it in a crystal ball
"Okay"
Is not looking up from your phone
When I tell you about my day
"Okay"
Is not the proper response
To "I love you"

They say that the opposite of love isn't hatred
It's indifference
And I can't think of a response
More indifferent to pouring out
My heart into your hands
Than "Okay"
At least the last thing you said to me
Before we parted ways
Showed that you cared
At least a little bit
"I hate you"
Stung less
Than the thousands of times
Over our countless conversations
You responded
"Okay"
Okay?
Sunflower Girl Feb 2019
i
   write
            because
                        my
                             thoughts
                                           won’t
                                                   stop
                                                         talking
Sunflower Girl Feb 2019
i sat up late thinking
of all the people i have ever known

their spirits dancing in my brain
their ghosts tearing through my heart

no one will ever know
how little alone time i get
Sunflower Girl Feb 2019
icy ink close around
my dim eyes tired
from staring at the ground of
glistening starlight
breath billows pulled from my lungs like a ****
floating in the void
Sunflower Girl Jan 2019
i cannot seem to discern where sea becomes sky in a serene slippery oneness of grey and pink the black fishing boats dart across the surface like birds and i feel if i could touch it i would turn into one of them and
                      fly
                               away.
Sunflower Girl Jun 2017
hey
hey world
im still here
dont you forget
doing what
i always have

dissolving into sunsets
and sinking into streets
and seeping into sky
every breath
a disappearing act

quietly i exist
in every whisper
of wind
when the world
wanders
wonders
where is that woman

hey world
im still here
dont you dare
forget me
Sunflower Girl Jun 2017
red
window
window flowers
flowers on her dress
dress in shop window
in this brown city
in this green country
there is no escape from its rarity
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