3.

You are a
vast mystery
of depth

Layered with
endless definitions
written by the hand
of a child who never
had the touch of love
caress the blueprint
of his soul

No hand to show
him what tools
to use to build
safe walls

He constructed
concrete walls
from the foundation
of lies

So his hands
became rough
as he tore down
the crumbling
architecture
innocences had
built in order to
survive

Turning him
feral
And the houses
he fled too
in hopes
of calling
it home
became memories
of heart break

Haunted thoughts
replayed the
mistakes
made
in order to
stay alive

He became a
safe haven
escapist

I was a beautiful Heaven

And sometimes we
will fall in the search
of a lost love
But what is loved
will never be lost

1.5.

If only
you knew
how many laps
it would take
to make my
escape
Lost in my
minds maze
I was trapped
in dark days
Lost in
countless
ways

Time after
time
Do you know
how many
times
I have died
while alive?
   
It's not easy
having this
beautiful mind

To see nothing
but beauty
in deranged
miracles

They luminate
through my eyes

To outsmart
my own
Devil
I beat me
at my own
game
Now I wear
this ******
crown
Watching myself
I go down
on my
knees
Hear how I  
sing my own
praises
Loving myself
as I embrace
my wicked
ways

Backwards I lit
my morning
cigarette
Filter for my
silent mouth
Watch how it
ignites
Spewing toxic
blue flames
straight out of
Hell

Still I’ll inhale

Ill be the first
to admit
I've done some
pretty
****** up ****

All that time
wasted
Incarcerated
Intoxicated
Drugged out
Seduced
Body ******
Bruised and Broken
Over and over
Praying for the
day
it or I
would end
Still can’t recall
all the nights
turned to days
turned to weeks
no sleep on repeat
Stealing and Dealing
Forget to keep
dreaming

Yet here I am
Still standing
Still inhailing
my *******
cigarette

My only regret
Was falling in
love
with the right
man
After he was
gone

Only thing left
Date
Year
Numbers finalizing
Timing his final
breath

Now The Ashes
are everywhere
The only truth
in love

My cigarettes death

1.6.

Radio playing
Times
Timeless hit-list

If I could turn
back
my all-time
regret

Was in a moment
No sooner
or later
no matter
where
everything and
everyone
I asked
impossible questions

Why me?
What happened?
Or didn't
After we had
met

In a restricted
hall
We tried so
hard
To not be so
late
The clock kept
trying to tell
me
Yet I blamed it
For believing my
lies
I was blind from
not hearing
the warning
from time
In how we would
both become
prisoners
Forced to stare
back at
crumbling walls

Counting every
**** day
Watching every
**** tick
Fabrication
of possible
ways

My lists on
lists turned to
regret after
regret
The only truth
in love

My cigarettes death

How I would
wish for words
so I could
pray
I can't say
Make me forget
No I never
I won't
I don't even
smoke
Why did I
ask

“So what’s your name”

The look you
would give me
while giving
to you
In you I had
my first regret
That would lead
to you
lightning me up
that last cigarette

Now the last
thing
my only thing
left
I’m smoking all
alone
Won’t be hearing
you say my name
anymore

But I won’t ever
regret
how you had... that crave
and because of
me
You could get
a spark off
a dead lighter
Trick is
you gotta put
two dead ones
together

***
Death
Celebration
Stress

Always you'll see
me smoking

I need you
not these
stale ashes
So tell me
again
just how bad
you need
another
******* cigarette

1.7.

Beauty
is a dangerous
thing
to obtain
Even the darkest
stars
warned me
It doesn’t like
to play
fair

It can lie
It can deceive
It can cheat
It even steals
you out of
your death

Shooting star
or the unworthy
dead
With my
breath
I give life
to the lost
consultations

My divine
calculations
made the
equations
That’s why
in my sleep
all three
realities
I see

I am your
fate

Waiting for you
at the flowered
gate
With spring rain
still in
my hair
Never has there
been
A woman so
fair

Scarlet begonias
Cuts and bruises
this is a
war
I don’t plan
on losing

The Red Moon waits above
The Dead City lights
The Director of Elements
Queen of the Sky
The 4 Sacred Winds
were given new life
Listen to the breath
of howling Death
As a New Sun rises
coming up in the West

Chronicle catastrophes
Confrontation of concrete cities
Calling for the confessions of cruel
communities
A cunning currency became the ruler
Civilians were converted to complying consumers
Condemning the cultures causing them to crumble

Creating social confusion
Convincing the masses
That the Kingdom of Heaven
belonged to the high ranking classes
Compassion cries in its coffin
Credit cards turned graves
Raising the rates as corpses decay
But Death was always free
Never required a fee
So let it be written on the graves

“From debt to death prices were paid”

1.2.

When I was a
little girl
I use to steal
my Mothers
cigarettes

She use to smoke
in the bathroom
tobacco was always
a little wet

King size red
while she read
  books on love
  she really
   had a lust for

In the school yard
in a circle
  alone I sat
   smoking stolen
    cigarettes
watched how
they burnt
  so eloquent
   in my hand

Kissed by sulphur
my lips
Blowing toxic smoke
choking
  burning
Your hand on
my throat
  I need
   one more
    
    kiss

In my bed
laying in Ash

Cigarettes
and my
  men

Lord help me
I’m in love with
the devil again

4.

Living on loves
edge had
sharpened
you
Turning you into
a knife
that could
carve words
Translating them
into a language of
weapons

My voice once
sang your name
in a melody
written by God

Dull and out
of tune

As you become
a stranger on
my lips

I once was the
morning sun
light
passing through
white curtains

I once was the
kiss on bare
skin
lost between
satin sheets

I once saw in
your eyes
new horizons
rising from the
curves of my
smiles

I watched as
your
shining eyes
disappeared
as the Devils
eclipse
came to claim

Now I wait in
faith for
love to make its
way home

2.17.

I have not been listening
To anything
Ignoring the truths
I did hear
I could not accept
the reality I saw
So I fabricated one
like a child
Listening is Art
Being comfortable
in silence is discipline
I need to be still
I need to be water
Flowing with a force
that will mould
my true nature

X.

The Muse lights her cigarette
It’s 3:33 am
She was confused
Her confession flows
with the cold winter wind
In the silhouette of her
shadow
A dark history has
come to an end

Her body has become a
stranger
Replaying the fleeting
memories
of walking with him
Once upon a time
Once upon a dream

“I know you”
She tells the body of a ghost
where her faith was found

A perennial blessing
sleeps in her hands

5.

What a peculiar thing
Fate is
I said to Free will
As I traveled back up
all the layers
of Hell

I’m a Conquerer
of the ******
The *****
Sinners thanked
for making Hell
fresh again

Out on the
loose and
looking for new
prey
Behaving like a Tyrant
I broke away from
these chains

As I level up
I’m given
Angel status

But no man gave me these wings
And no man will take them away
My Man is a algorithm
Exceeding past limits
It’s the best I ever had

Born a primal poet in
the shadows of the
Grey alleyways
My mind is a
dangerous place

Even the Gods
go to war
over the crazy
stories I create

2.15.

Punk rock violence
is the sound of
silence
Amen to bleeding
lips that ask
for forgiveness
Tried to say a
prayer
but your voice is
filled with
dirt and gravel

Who am I?
Who are you?
Doesn’t really
matter

And I never really
cared if
Heaven were
to rain down
or if
Hell were to
freeze

As long as I got
my plastic Jesus
hanging from the
dashboard of my
car

I got a Saviour
to save me
from myself

Driving away
on half truths
highways
playing a
90’s mixtape
of
Amazing Grace
remakes

Sunset success
lays ahead
But I can’t look
back
in the mirror
there is a crack

On the streets
tempo beats
Replaying
sweet sounds

It was God’s
rhythmic melodies
and
Holy harmonies
that saved a
***** like
myself

2.11.

In Eastern allies
long forgotten
streets
21 diamonds
watched over me

I’m a ***** with a
switchblade for a
mouth
My words are sharp
Im cutting it up

On the run
On the run
Silhouette with
a gun
Golden coffins
Savage paths
leading
privilege ways
High class
cemeteries
Written on graves
“ From debt to death
   prices were paid”

Seven times I saw
the darkness take the
sky
Through heavens
eyes
Your eyes fit
together
with mine

On the rise
On the rise
Arrested again
in a fist fight
I’m a loose end
in time
Inhaling cigarette
after cigarette
in the ashtray
dusk to dawn
burning away
Ashes of
another day
turned
its last page

6.

Time is non existent
a man made
reality
Alone in the shadows
he will watch the
clock

When love is material
man will fall apart
On his knees he
will worship the
paper faced
false Gods

Who will see the
Miracles in the
littered streets?

Who will hear the
clothing-line
secrets?

The whispers of
God

And after one has
seen God
Where should they
go?
Is there a cure?

Or do they stay in
exile?
Hidden from the
world
Where they are free

1.8.

Sometimes
I get bored
I play dangerous
games

Used some matches
Turned to ashes
Burning my cash
was the only way
I ever made
the thunder crash

During confession
even the priest
is swearin
and sweatin
telling me
how pretty
******* crazy
I am

Well my daddy always said
“ if the boys
be prayin
sayin you
crazy
then baby girl
show these boys
what it means
to be insane “

So I’m
stealing
every dictionary
Page by page
Every definition
of insanity
is getting thrown
into the flame

Just try to
*******
define me
If you want
to see how
crazy I
can bee
watch how
I dance in
elements of
fire

Embers of loose
translations
watch them
disappear

turned to stars
forever crying
in the living
skies

Later on
with the
smoke
As I slit
my throat
Watch me
bleed
the *******
cosmos

Covered in moon
perfumes
sweet golden
dirt
I’ll bath in
the blood
of my ancestors
unknown

Surrounded by
the flame
I have now grown
comfortable
in my own chaos

That’s how dark
my minds become

I am the night
I make everyone
of you stars shine

So come with
me and play
my game
I’ll show you
how to be so
beautifully
*******
insane

2.10.

Freedom accepts
its prison and shows
no mercy

Write a story on
war
your body holds
one
Use my lips
to dip the
words
you long for

Late night scheming
Lipstick lyrics
Radio playing
Forehead kisses

The dialogue
in your singing
eyes
God shed a tear
for you

Three Angels were saved
Bar tabs were paid
Fate stumbles home
always finding its way

Don’t you remember?

I do

Like a flower
                      I bloom
                                    then I die

Tears drop at midnight
I live til the end of days
The stars watched amazed
Blood on my hands
Dirt on my face

I have seen heavens
barricades
In cheap love and
gunshots
Chain smoking expensive
cigarettes
Let me call you black magic
And only to thy Lord
I’ll admit
Maybe sometimes
I am the bad guy

Leave the ordinary behind
Leave the sterile good byes
That lay in my eyes
My eyes my eyes
That flutter shut
Lost in the big sky
Fulfillment of logistics
Made you a false witness
Sick with the fear
New perceptions
of reality
When I look in
a mirror

7.

What I am is a child
of God
The eldest of girls.
One day I’ll claim the
Kingdom.
Birthrights of elements.

Princess of white lilacs.
Call me the rebellious
daughter.

During Sunday school,
show and tell.
I strip down, start a fire,
ring the bell.

My dramatic attitude.
First class act with no shoes.

That’s what makes me Zeus’s
favourite good girl.

Hear him boast, how baby girl,
the **** he admires most,
burnt Hades lair down.

Love making my Daddy proud.

8.

What I have is a soul

so cold
so beautiful
so dark
so twisted

The Devil insisted

“ soar above. rise, keep
rising to the top keep
cutting your feet on
societies crumbling
rocks
watch as they bleed as
you crawl your way up”

My sister persisted

“ stop standing barefoot on
broken benches and church
pews singing your praises
to every god that decides
to listen to you
only you define the god in
your mind
only you have the power to
save you from you”

I guess I need to learn how to be consistent

9.
    
What I am are
the sounds I made
   when we made love.

With every whimper,
  every whisper,
   my every expression.

The way we had ***
created every language.

What happened after you left?

I set words free.
I let them have chance.
  See what they choose
   with opportunity,
    to think for themselves.


What I have become is the  
fault.

People have forgotten
why they speak words
  with reason they lost

10.


This is what happens
when Venus loses her divine
A shattered star
watch as she falls from the      
sky.

She can never shine.
Never be as bright.
She needs behind her
a flawed dark knight.

What happens when she lands in
a white trailer trash life?

Selling her soul at dirt road
crossroads.

What happens when she realizes
she’s the prodigal *****.

Crushing egos between her  
  thighs.

Same old Babylonian
stories

A thousand and one
new Arabian nights.

11.

What would you do if you
woke up
to different world views?

What would you feel
when Angels and Demons
played games of war
with your bankrupt soul?
  
What would you say,
to get them to play fair?

What would you think
when Angels bow down in respect
when Demons hide out of fear?
    
What would you do
when you realize your the  
universal mother of two?

12.

What I want is to go back
and resurrect us from that
graveyard
where we first met.

I need you so bad to come      
back from the dead.

I don’t want to be finished  
with you just yet.
    
My heart is rock hard.
You won’t shatter it, Love.
  
What I want to be when I
grow up,
is the moment we first kissed.

I want to be the hand that
grabs my neck.

I want to be the wall you
pushed me up against.

I want someone new to get
me that wet.
    
What I want is the moment I
realized I loved you.
To be my everyday with you.

What I wanted was the chance
to die beside you.

So we can be buried in above
ground tombs.

Graves marked with flowers,
shoe marks of children.

Hear their laughter as they
play on top of us.

Til they are caught,
hear their mothers scold      them.

What I want for us is
to be the reason.
Call it a first lesson.

In what you love most,
becomes your worst fear.