Not all guys are horrible. Not all guys are sweet and lovable. Some lie. Some are fake. Some are honest. Loyal. True. I just wanna know which one are you?

Lock it, lock it,
Turn the key and click it,
Back and forth, the clock reverse,
Don’t turn your head just leave it,
Don’t open up your heart,
Don’t open up your scars,
Don’t go and open any parts that makes you wanna regret it
Regret what-the sorrows, the pain that left me hollow,
The darkest part of where I was left,
The last place you don’t wanna follow,
The worse part of my head,
The parts you don’t wanna tread,
Tread lightly and just maybe once,
I’ll listen to your demands.

Judge me here,
And judge me there,
Judge me anywhere,
I probably wouldn’t care,
You only know specs, and pieces of my own,
You don’t know all, so judge me as you go.

Judge me intellectually,
Judge me emotionally,
Judge me mentally,
Judge me spiritually,
Judge me anyway you want to judge me,
But make sure you do it confidently.

I’m judged a lot,
By people that gossip,
By people that barely knew me in private,
By people that pretends to think they know me,
By a text or some words said out in context,
I probably wouldn’t care cause y’all barely hit the surface.

The sky is so beautiful as I look up with my dark brown eyes,
Every aspect of colors filling me up twice the size,
And yet, I still don’t feel nothing inside.
I get up from the patches of grass underneath me,  to see in front of me, a few pine trees, rustling,
A nice breeze, that brushes my face, softly,
To abruptly see that I’m not alone, well I’ll be.
I’ve never seen this person before, ever,
And yet he comes near me, slouching down slowly, with his light brown eyes
And tries to speak to me but nothing he said towards me was coming out correctly,
And so he smiled, lightly and got back up on his feet and walked off,
Disappearing from my sights as he faded in between the trees,
And a gust of wind, closing my eyes shut heavily,
I start to hear voices calling my name,
And as the wind stopped blowing, I opened my eyes once again to see that what was in front of me was pitch black
Nothing in sight, as if I felt lost,
Left inside my own thoughts,
I didn’t want to make a slight move but,
The noise abruptly started again, gradually getting louder...
and louder...
When suddenly a door...
A door so bleak that it  was rusted, old but oddly not bullet proof,
Like there were little holes here and there but I couldn’t see through...what could be inside that is true...
To be continued

Why can’t I speak,
Why can’t I word,
Why can’t I mouth all these things, wont come thru,
Why can’t I start,
Why can’t I go,
Have a conversation like back in the boons,
Why am I mute,
What did you do,
Why would my hands freeze up and refuse,
What did you do, what did you do,
Because for some reason I’m scared of you😔

Heartache,
Heartbreak,
Headstrong,
Love-ache,
Making my heart break two folds,
The back of my neck stands too cold,
What am I doing wrong, I don’t know,
Letting my intuition sink so low,
That all of my open boxes stays closed,
I’m done with it all,
I’d rather fall.

Every passing day you fade,
With less memories to keep me at bay,
With the less stars that twinkle in your eyes,
Another piece breaks with each passing day,
And yet I keep smiling hoping one day,
That I’ll finally find it, my home, where I’ll stay,
And you’ll be there by my side,
Not leaving me out like a stray,
And to keep me close and warm inside,
That no matter what, I won’t fade away.