I have a best friend, a sister really,

So I wrote her this poem, it's nothing silly,

If you knew her you'd know,

She's really pretty,

I mean really, abnormally,

But she doesn't believe it,

She asks why doesn't that size fit,

But I wish she could see,

that she is perfect the way she was made to be.

I should have known it wouldn't last,

And alas, our time has passed,

I was good and submissive,

But you were dismissive,

And I don't know what I can do.



You liked me, adored me,

You though I was sweet.

But today, you called me,

And said you could see,

We were not meant to be,

Because of what we believe.



I know I'm so young,

And sweet, and naive,

I know it's crazy,

But I believe,

That age doesn't matter,

not to me.



But I guess I should see,

Only friends we will be,

But these Tim Eyes will always remain.

He did it, He's gone,

He left and moved on.

I wish he could see,

I am still able to be,

The one that he loves,

I can still rise above,

I can be his always,

I would forever stay,

Gently in his arms,

Doing him no harm,

I'm his now and forever,

Forever and always.



But no.

He does not want that,

He does not want me,

I'm so very scared,

That I will always be,

The one with no love,

Because nothing I do,

Will ever change,

How I feel about you,

How can I move on,

If you've done me no wrong?



But wait.

He has done me wrong,

I know that he has,

One day he loved me,

Hated me the same,

I had no clue what to do,

I was going insane.

He caressed me,

Then left me,

He left me in pain.



That.

That is what he did wrong,

And so I will become strong,

Stronger than he,

Ever knew I could be.



And so.

So he will wish that he could've seen,

all the things that we could've been,

The beauty I would have shared,

Because I would have cared,

To forever be his,

And him forever be mine,

Together forever

with our spirits entwined.



But no.

He's lost out on that chance,

I really don't care to dance that dance,

The dance full of pain,

And regret, and sorrow,

As I ponder if there will be a tomorrow,



For us.

As I wonder how I could hold on,

As I hold us together,

Praying I'll be strong,

It never worked, I never was,

It just looked like it all because,

I became, nothing but a shell,

And my life, a living hell.



It was.

Can't you see?

All that you did,

It all hurt me?

If only I hadn't been so blind,

To think you were so kind,

To believe that your heart,

Had no bad part,

To it.



I was.

It's not all your fault,

I was naive,

I was naive to believe,

That it could last,

I needed a lesson from the past,

Nobody stays,

Not even one,

Even if love has truly begun,



To sprout.

To grow like a flower,

Beauty with power,

Enough to change a heart of stone.



But remember.

Rain will strengthen a flower,

But a storm will destroy it,

It will wilt,

Falling back down,

Into the filth,

Where it began,

Never to be seen again.



And though.

It may blossom once again,

Remember it is not the same,

It is not the same flower,

And its scent may be sweeter,

Sweeter than the one before.

I want the joy that would let me dance in the street,

The heart that would let me do so with no care,

The innocence that allows me undignified naivete,

The soul for worship without a second thought.

I long for the dance,

The beauty of worship before our Creator.

The hope that flows within,

it is growing weak,

I feel the pain within,

It is all I seek.



The love that flowers inside,

The petals fall and die,

Instead a thornbush grows,

And I am pierced from the lies.



The heart that once beat strong,

Is dying softly down,

Its beat is strange and wrong,

and tortured is its song.

If Love shows itself through golden rings,

and if I love you, my heart will sing,

but if it doesn't,

then I do not,

and if I don't,

does Death come for me?

I hear Death swoops in on deep black wings,

and if I wish for the peace death brings,

will there be peace, or will it sting?

Death and blinding pain,
I have nothing left to gain.
I don't know how I feel so sane,
when all that comes is death again.

Love and love is lost,
My heart feels like it's filled with frost,
how could I not see how much it cost,
and  now I am filled with exhaust.

To love you was the price,
I suppose it was my vice.
I tried to believe you could be nice,
but now your heart is hard as ice.

Hope for death to come for me,
I do not want you all to see,
the pain I'm in is the fee,
because no love can come for free.