I pretend to laugh
Even when I want to cry
I pretend to live
Even when I want to die

I pretend that I'm in control
Even when I'm not
I pretend to move forward
Even when I know I've stopped

I pretend to believe there's hope
Even when I'm not so sure
I pretend that the medicine is helping
Even when I know there is no cure

I pretend that I'm getting better
Even when I know its not true
I pretend that isn't real
Even when I know that I do

We never saw you cry
The pain you hid for so long
You thought no one cared about you
You could have never been so wrong

You always had a smile
In truth it hid the tears
You inner demons called to you
Those demons that caused you fear

It was us that let you down
You are not to blame
We should have seen the signs
My head I lower in shame

You are no longer here
And part of me has died
This guilt I'll have forever
The guilt of your suicide

When I close my eyes at night
I want to think of you
I want us to be happy
I want to dream of you
I want you in my arms
I want your kiss
I want to know you're there
I want to feel you near me
I want you to feel this way too