This is the last time I write your name
with anything other than silence.
The last time I let memory
dress up as love
and climb back into my chest.

I gave you my teens
fifteen to Twenty—
years I can’t get back,
but years I no longer want.

You taught me how to ache,
how to beg without speaking,
how to love someone
who never chose me fully.
And in return,
I taught myself how to survive.

I held the door open
through every lie,
every “it didn’t mean anything,”
every look you gave
that wasn’t mine.

But now I see
you were a lesson,
not a lifetime.

You're a name with dust on it now,
a voice I don't chase in dreams.
You're not her anymore,
and I'm not him.

You chose your path.
You built your life.
And I'm finally walking out of the past
without waiting for you to follow.

So this is goodbye
not loud, not cruel,
just final.

No more poems.
No more “what ifs.”
Just peace
where your name used to live.

She moved like summer chasing light,
With golden hair and streaks of night
Blue slashed bold across her crown,
A storm disguised in a party town.

Her eyes were oceans—deep, untrue,
They pulled me in, then split in two.
I swore I saw forever there,
But she was never really where.

We crashed and kissed in cycles spun,
From 2014 to ‘19 done.
I called it love, she called it “try,”
But kept her truths beneath the lie.

While I held on, she held their hands,
Two others, promises like sand.
I stayed through storms, I played the fool
She broke the rules, rewrote the rule.

Still I believed, still I forgave,
Still I mistook the wound for brave.
Each time she left, I took her back,
Blind to the knife still in my back.

Now she wears a wedding ring
Not mine, but his… the other thing.
They’ve built a life, a child too,
While I sit ghosting in the blue.

Was I just training for her fate?
A stepping stone she learned to hate?
Or maybe love was never real
Just something broken she could feel.

I ask myself if I was weak,
Or just too human, far too meek.
Because part of me still aches, still tries
To forget her name
and her summer eyes.

I swore I'd walk away this time,
left your ghost outside my door,
But love’s a drug I can't outrun,
and I’m crawling back for more.

Your voice still lives inside my head,
like a song I can't erase,
Every echo cuts me deeper
still I long to feel your face.

We break, we bend, we fall apart,
then stitch the hurt with hope,
And just when I start breathing clear,
you pull me back to choke.

It’s not love, it’s not survival,
it's a cycle dressed in flame,
You burn me just enough to stay
and I keep playing the game.

I hate the way I need this,
how pain feels close to real,
But emptiness is louder
when I forget how not to feel.

So here I am again tonight,
repeating all I swore was through,
Over and over, I lose myself
just trying to get back to you.

The quiet hits louder when you’re gone,
Like your name etched in every song.
The bed’s still cold on just one side,
And I fake sleep so I don’t cry.

I held your hand in borrowed time,
While you looked ahead and left me behind.
You moved on like it was breath,
While I’m still choking on what’s left.

They said time heals, but they don’t know
That some hearts beat just to feel low.
And every smile I try to fake
Cracks beneath the love you take.

You said I’d be okay someday,
But I was never built that way.
You were my peace, my steady light
Now I’m just shadows in the night.

You laugh in rooms I’ll never see,
With someone else where I should be.
And I’m still here, dressed in regret,
Trying to relive the night we met.

So I whisper to the empty air,
Tell myself you still might care.
But truth is sharp, it doesn’t bend
You were my always,
I was your end.

I walked through years like broken glass,
Left pieces of myself in every path.
Smiled for crowds while dying inside,
Made my pain a mask I wore with pride.

Told myself I was strong, unshaken
But every choice felt like self-betrayin’.
I chased the high, escaped the lows,
Buried guilt where no one knows.

I apologized, not for who I am,
But for what I became when the fire began.
For friends I lost to silence and strain,
For words I said carved deep like pain.

The bottles, the pills, the late-night screams,
The fading light in once-bright dreams.
I never meant to fade away
But the mirror showed me every day.

I stood on stages, played the part,
But left behind a hollow heart.
They cheered the sound, ignored the plea
I was breaking, but who’d see me?

So this is for the nights I can’t forget,
For sins unpaid and deep regret.
For the ones I hurt along the way
I carry that weight every day.

I apologize—not for surviving,
But for the wreckage I left while driving.
For every soul I let down blind,
And for the peace I’ve yet to find.