if only our souls can translate
you would have never left
for then you'll understand
that every rhythm was urs

so close, souls nearly collide
a stranger wearing the same face  
of the one I once knew
searching, searching, desperately searching through it's eyes
with a heavy heart, I walk away
with the ache of knowing
whatever I was searching for
was long gone ago

when i get overwhelmed with the noise of reality
you'll find me rushing to my sanctuary
to wonder where, ask who
I pledge every inch
of my existence to you

why am I upset
that you've forgotten
I'm not your responsibility
in the first place

I gain a little older today
there was no cake to be blown
nor a celebration to attend
it was a simple day of  calling family and friends
and showing gratitude for another year to live
I often wonder why adults would be so dull
but then now I act the way they do
perhaps it's the realization that
another year meant more responsibilities to come
but that's the beauty of living
to feel every single thing

Despite the harsh coldness of this world
it's the warmth of your existence
that keeps me going

I never understood why people cry over heartbreaks
perhaps because I cry over my family's financials
or that my parents never loved each other
or that my sister's attempting suicide
perhaps I understood that love is just a burden
from the endless divorce courts choosing sides
or the endless fights over our school's fees
that's why love was never a curiosity
it's a plauge that I tremendously avoided
I know it's meant to be that way,
to survive, I must be on my own
if love arrived,
prepare to bury me
for acknowledging things and feeling them
will destruct every piece of my existence