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 Mar 30 Patrick
Meliah
Sweet little bird with stormy eyes
You are not mine
Flap away to find
One of your kind
One that loves the mountains
One that loves the darkness at night
One that loves the calmness
Of the black and white knights

Funny little bird with eyes of the sea
You are not mine to keep
Fly away you will see
That I have set you free
I may have bruised your heart
But sweetie,
I didn’t tear it apart

Strong little bird your eyes are green
They are like the grass of spring
Dry your tears
And don’t you fear
When I locked you out
It was not to make you shout
My window was not your home
You will find your own

Kind little bird your eyes are like the bark
Of the tree you found and made your mark
I must point out
You’re happy now
Can’t you see?
You are better off without me
Pretty eyed guy, may you fly ❤️
 Mar 27 Patrick
Meliah
You say my name like venom, as if you are not the snake coiled around your own throat.
You blame him, as if it wasn’t your hands that traced across my skin.
You blame me, but I played the role you gave me—perfectly.

Oh, to be gold, you say.
Perhaps you thought digging was the way to become worth something,
My mistake—I should have known the grave you dug for me would swallow you instead.

In the wind of your mistakes, I am the ashes of a burnt down home
Carrying the embers of what you made me,
Wishing to set you ablaze
May you find value in your next life because you certainly haven't in this one.
 Mar 26 Patrick
Meliah
Dad:
Knock Knock

Me:
Who's there?

Dad:
Hike

Me:
Hike who?

Dad:
Unsuspecting child
Dad waiting with bated breath
Sets the perfect trap

Me:
My dearest father,
Alas, your trap was not sprung
I saw it coming.

Dad:
My sweetest daughter,
I was just  bragging on you,
And you turned on me.

Me:
You made this menace
They say you reap what you sow
-From your pride and joy

Dad:
Alas, you wound me,
I'm but partially at fault,
You are your mom's clone.

Me:
Mom does not haiku
This mischief is all from you
I got lots from you

Dad:
Only half from me,
Haiku from me is recent,
But it made you smile.

Me:
I value both halves
I am proud to be of you
I love you daddy
A playful haiku exchange between my dad and me, inspired by a classic dad joke gone poetic.
 Mar 25 Patrick
Meliah
I go back to the darkness
To exist with the pieces of her that remain there.
Fragments of laughter, echoes of childhood
Flicker between the shadows

I would walk back into hell
If it meant all of her could escape
If I could gather her shards
I'd use my own blood as the glue

If the pain I failed to protect her from Could be my own
I'd sink into the pool gladly
And let the poison drown me

Would I lose myself? Yes
But she would be free.
If only I could heal your wounds and take them as my own. I love you. I hope you're doing okay.
 Mar 21 Patrick
Meliah
She poetically talks about how we are two asymptotes
As we got infinitely closer
We got infinitely farther away

Or maybe we are parallel—
Maybe we never really met
But forever are bound going the same way

“If only I could make you forget.”
As if forgetting would do anything
But have me make the same mistake again

Maybe we are a tangent line
Only meeting once
Then disappearing forever

Or maybe I am i,
Imaginary, irrational, impossible—
A unicorn in the margins of your notes,
A number that doesn’t exist,
Except when the equation demands it.

You called me that once,
A unicorn,
Something too rare to be real,
Too strange to hold onto.

But even imaginary numbers have value,
So tell me, if I was never real—
Why does the math still haunt you?
"The universe and math are intertwined
From one, meaning of the other derived
Things add up in the end they always do
So what’s to say of me and you?

Of life and love I profess little knowledge
And disaster, most certainly, at any involvement
I am grown at heart, yet adolescent at mind
Forever fearful of and adept at wasting time

Be reminded I bear you no resentment
I just have a hard time finding contentment
My motives are senseless, my motion so tense I dispense with my friends just to find time to rest
So it seems that we’re diametrically opposed
I’m distant, while you wouldn’t let your friends go

I am meant to fly, always airborne in my dreams
I am whimsy and caprice, you are steady nurturing
I am the rain turned to hail by a cold winter breeze
I am (un)sentimental, with bipolar tendencies
I am inconsistent, with infinite possibilities

I am, I am, I’m a narcissist at best
I am interesting, but do not deserve your interest
“We accept the love we think we deserve”
The best movie quote I think I’ve ever heard
It’s not science, or math, or empirical
It’s honest observation of the human soul

My love is tender yet impatient, both elegant and graceless
I know little of your love, but just enough to not embrace it
When it’s mind over matter I fall back on the heart
And truth is, I knew I would hurt you from the start

I’ve no shortage of words to offer you
Everything and anything will I do
Not for your forgiveness but for you to forget
I’ll say anything to get myself out of your head
And I know my words added up to a different path
But you should never trust a poet, cause they can’t do the math"
 Mar 13 Patrick
Meliah
Coliseum
 Mar 13 Patrick
Meliah
I am a Coliseum—
Broken, but still standing,
A relic of past glory,
Hinting at a time when I stood tall, whole, and victorious.
When the battles fought within me were always won by the hero.

But slowly, the battles grew harder.
The hero began to falter,
Until she lost everyone.
Until her determination shattered like glass,
Almost as sharp as the razor blade against my walls.
Until crimson blood leaked from her chest,
Staining my jeans as it spilled from our bodies in unison.

She died, and I was left in a gray, hollow way of living.
Trying to make sacrifices of my own flesh
To revive the fearless woman she once was.
But I failed—again and again—
Fighting my own battles,
Facing my own shadowed lions,
Until I, too, was dead.

I've decided to stay that way.
Tablets for writing may record it,
And tablets for pain may propel it.
I drink some water to make it easier to swallow
I wrote this 8 years ago (I did edit it). I wrote it in highschool when I was depressed and suicidal. OBVIOUSLY I am much better now. If you feel like this- it's not everlasting.
 Apr 2019 Patrick
No Nahme
How is it that
I feel this connection
With such
Intensity and rarity
Penetrating
My bones
Consuming
My soul
As if
Our souls are tangled
Together repeatedly
without knowing
One lifetime
After another
A magnetic force
That pulls me to you
I want to give in
And
Snap into place
 Oct 2018 Patrick
Emi
Hunger
 Oct 2018 Patrick
Emi
Shovel it down
Spit it out
Want to keep it in
Feels like poison
Hunger rumbles
My body awake
Ignore it
Not important
Not just for food
For love
For happiness
For contempt days
Not wasted away
Curled over familiar porcelain
Going through motions again
Long nights
Hating life
Who have I become
Can’t be the only one
Hurting
Hurting
Hurting
Hunger
Pains
Get over it
It’s all stupid
very messy because my brain was messy
 Sep 2018 Patrick
Emi
Midnight sky
Look me in the eye
Monster in my head
Won’t let me go to bed
Heart thumping
Brain jumping
To conclusions
Which are just illusions
Nothing’s real
What is it I feel?

Monster in my head
Won’t you let me go to bed?
Work all night and day
Never time to play
Dizzy dizzy brain
Feeling so much pain
Oxygen restriction
Hyperventilating submission

Rocking in place
Send my mind to space
Anger in my veins
Causes so much pain
Confusion
Delusion
Is this even real
How is one supposed to feel?
Monster in my head
Let me ******* go to bed.
9/23/18

— The End —