Too tired to cry,
Too busy to die.
I’ll just say ‘see you later’
Because I don’t do goodbyes.
What a ****** liberty,
What a disease.
No shoes on
Inside the house please.

I could pretend I’ve got it together,
Feign ignorance,
Fake confidence.
I could lie and say im fine with it,
Choke on trickery,
Cheat each bit of me.
But the truth of it is simple,
I fell in love and you fell backwards.
I’m moving slowly and you are
Moving on.
I went off the rails and you just
Went home.

I saw a picture of my dad today,
It shocked me that his hair is grey.
I didn’t recognise his face,
New lines that the years had placed.
It hit me hard inside my chest,
It knocked me back and took my breath.
I do not know that man I saw,
Hardly remember him anymore.
And I wonder if he would know me,
If a picture of me he were to see.

He said my standards were too high,
But my stepdad would drain a river dry
If I needed a drink.
He said the love I want isn’t real,
But my girls would give me their last meal, If I was hungry for it.
He told me I was too much for men,
But no'one treats me better than my best guy friend.
He said he couldn’t marry a girl like me,
But if that’s how I need to be,
For a man to really love me,
Then I would take never again.

And so, here we are.
I assume that this is the point,
That precipice I’ve heard about.
The one where I’ll either jump,
Or turn back to look for you
Only to see you push me off the edge.
I suppose this is that point,
Where I’m left with no choice but to
Hate you
Because now you hate me.
I’d rather we weren’t but here we seem to be.

He might be right,
When he says that loves gone now.
That it cannot be done right,
For doing it wrong now.
I hope that he’s wrong when
He speaks on my deep fear,
Says I’m used up and damaged
And will not be loved here.
I feel it inside now,
That sinking dread feeling
That sits in my stomach
And leaves my mind reeling.
I know it deep down now,
The soul crushing truth love,
That people don’t love like
They used to love love, love.

Always the back up girl
Never the girlfriend
Always the second choice
Never the happy end
Always the background noise
Never the chart hit
Always his favourite secret
Never his ‘this is it’
I’m always the girl they want
But never the girl they need
Always wishing for more
They never hear my pleas