i’m tired of counting the days
until the rays of light beaming through my eyes
will cease to shine
when you finally tell me
that i am no longer yours
and you are no longer mine

she was slightly suicidal

partly crazy

but mostly alone



-k.l.

first instincts
will last
even when you know it shouldn't
when you know you shouldn't
pick up your phone for verbose conversations
shouldn't call them "love" or "darling"
or anything in between
you hover your thumb above the send button
just to end up deleting your whole message history

first instincts are tricky things
because for a moment
you act as if things are the way you want them to be
then you realise that they aren't

I have so many exes'
I could make a ***** jealous.
I have enough sin in me
to make the devil envy.
I have loved so much
exhausted heart doesn't want to be touched.
I've won experience
but I have loss too;
the abiltiy to feel
and trust you.

Would that it would end
And leave me in silence here,
Tranquil and alone.

Life is bitter sweet, though always there for the most delicate moments
Through the short bursts of truth that will leave you cold on the bathroom floor
covered in shaving foam and your own blood
The spinning record that tells you to cut your hair and to give up on her
It doesn't have that B-side you wanted  
Yes, life is Bitter sweet
Said the cab driver on the way to hospital
A close call was not enough
To hide that family secret
But bandages hid it well enough
Velvet linens and a torn Hallmark card must have made the day
After a promise to be polite
a swallow of another aspirin and a bus ride home
try another dose of razorblades until there are no more feelings left

Writing
Is the only way
For me to stay sane