I pick up the pen
and my mind runs free from life’s chaos.
I forget about the worries that haunted me so,
and a stillness envelops my presence.
If only it could stay like that forever.

I’ve seen Death twice,
stood in his presence as he took those I loved away.
I watched as one took their last breath,
not knowing it’d be goodbye.
I saw another life gone,
door opened,
and an image frozen forever in my mind.
If I could take it all back,
Heaven knows I would.
So as I sit here with each breath,
I remember those two we lost,
and others gone before and after.
A part of me was changed by tragedy,
and with each day life becomes a little more precious.

You don’t care,
and shade is the only thing you give.
I’ve been through hell.
Fought demons that loved it when I fell and failed.
If I was being truthful I never really liked myself half of the time,
and maybe that’s because you threw me away
like I was something you got of bored of.
I’m sorry I don’t fit the mold.
But despite how you made feel,
I’m not going to let it destroy the very essence of me.
I gotten this far,
and I’m still breathing.
Thank God I never stopped.

The smell of a candle
reminds me that I’m still here,
and I’m perfectly okay with that.

I was lost in a world I didn't want to be in anymore.
You were there,
and then suddenly you weren't anymore.
Gone before I could say goodbye.
I was screaming,  
begging for it not to be real.
Because I became one,
and that didn't feel right.
Yes, it hurt every bone in my body,
and I wanted nothing more then to be there with you.
But I couldn't,
and I questioned why,
my heart beating out of my chest.
Then like a flash,
I suddenly woke up.
And I realized it had only been a nightmare.
Even so,
reality set in.  
You aren't really gone,
but you aren't here either.
For that reason,
I live another nightmare I can't escape.
No, this one I can't wake up from.

Across the ocean blue
I look out into the horizon.
My back to the world.

No one would recognize me with my head turned.
At least I hope.
And to be honest I wouldn't mind.

A quiet moment all to myself,
with nothing but my thoughts to keep me company.

For I am just a Nobody
trying to do some good with the years of my life,
and not loose what's inside in the process.

When nothing seems right
and everything is wrong.
When you feel like mistakes overshadows your achievements
and no one cares.
When hope is lost in the darkness
and every color fades to gray,
your last resort is to end it all.
The thoughts inside your head not helping.

But don't let those thoughts consume you.
Don't believe you aren't good enough.
The lies will try to break you
and steal the light inside of your heart.
You are so much more than you think.
You are beautiful and worth every breath.
Life is beating within you
and until God says it's time,
please don't end your story too soon.