You may not have taught me to ride a bike
You may not have watched my whole life
You may have missed several years but so did everyone else when they were there
You are my peace
You are my home
You're the father I've never known
You catch me when I fall
You tell me it's alright
You're what my dad could have been if he tried
It's so easy for the conversation to glide
It's not uncomfortable to feel your embrace
I feel the love of a father when you look at my face
I feel the care of dad who can't stand to see his daughter cry
You are nothing but great in my eyes
You're the father I've been needing
The safe place I've been seeking
I lay my head on your chest
I feel nothing but comfort
The look in your eyes tell me everything's alright
You look proud yet I've done nothing
You tell me that I'm something
You call me a blessing when I feel I have burdened
You can always tell when I'm hurting
I knew from the moment you asked if I'm alright that you were what was missing from my life
A part of the puzzle was completed when you hugged me for the first time
When you told me you loved me it healed a piece of my soul
Now I can't let go
You hold on tight but I hold on tighter
Because I can't lose the man that is truly my father

I've compared my life to so many things
I've been waiting for a prince to rescue me
I've been waiting for a perfect life like the ones on TV
I've been waiting for some action like in the books I read
I've been waiting and waiting but it'll never come
for awhile it made me so numb
I got lost and TV and books
I wished I was there
I wished I looked like that perfect TV actress
I wished I had that perfect guy
I wished I had friends that were there for me when I cried
I wished for the perfect sitcom family
I wished that I'd wake up to find that my life was a lie
that'd wake up and that would be my life
my family would be perfect
I'd have so many friends
I'd get the guy who looks like him
someone would want me
I wouldn't be alone
but I always woke up in the same home
day after day lost in a trance
lost in these fantasies I wished were my life
I wished that a dog would save my life
I cried and I cried but they couldn't tell me it was alright
I needed a comforting voice
I needed something to live for
I needed a dad who was parenting me
one who gave me emotional security
yes you were there but it never felt like for me
I called you my mom's husband for so long it made me feel guilty
but I was not wrong because while you love me you weren't the father I need
so I spent my days lost in these fantasies
hoping someone would save me
I often thought about death
I have no fear of dying
these books and TV clear my mind
I become numb and lose myself to a trance just to keep myself alive
I always go back to these fantasies of mine
I wish for perfect that will never be found
I wish what will never be real
so sold on fiction I'm not living
I'm glued to this happiness that they find
and I wish their life was mine
these fantasies are nice but they are not real
I live in these fantasies to forget that I'm here
forget I'm alive
forget I'm depressed
forget all these thoughts in my head
I latch on to these fantasies
they I tell myself can save me
stuck comparing myself to the standards I can never uphold
I will never look like her
I will never be sitcom happy
I will never meet a prince that will make me a princess
I compared myself to these fantasies
I live in these fantasies
I want these fantasies
I will never get those fantasies

I cling to your every word
I watch how your eyes watch me
I see how your face looks when you see me
I look to see if your whispering
I see if you aren't looking
I listen to hear if you say anything
I keep my head down to stay in denial
I wish I could read minds to know what you think
I wish I knew how you felt
I want to know what you won't say out loud
What do you think about me?
Do you think about me?
Who cares?
I care
I'll always care
I'll always wonder
I'll always look
I'll always listen
I'll always keep my head down
Caring is not easy
Caring *****
Caring hurts
Especially when you care too much
Like me
I can't turn it off
I can't help it
I'll always look over my shoulder
But down at the floor at the same time
I'll watch my shoes while I walk
I'll pay attention to myself
And only myself
I'll try my best to let loose and be comfortable
I'll only care about myself
But I'll always care about if anyone else is watching
What are they thinking?
Are they laughing at me?
Did they see me?
Hear me?
Are they talking about me?
Should I have worn this?
Should I cut my hair?
Is it brushed nicely?
Do I look good in this outfit?
Are they just being nice when they compliment me?
Do they mean it?
Do they think I'm weird?
Mental?
Insane?
Nice?
Mean?
Pretty?
Ugly?
Smart?
Dumb?
What do they think!?
Why do I care?
I'll always care

Fighting for my life
Fighting to survive
Fighting for what's right
Fighting for my future
Fighting for the present
Forgetting the past
Moving forward
Fighting to be better
Fighting to make it through
Take on the world
I have to fight the world
I have to fight to survive
I have to fight for everything I have
Nothing comes easy
I must fight
Fighting everything
Fighting for everything
Carrying the world on my shoulders
Putting others ahead of me
Wrap myself with guilt
Sink myself in guilt
Drown myself in stress
But I'm still fighting
I'm always fighting
I'll always fight
I must fight
If I fight I'll have a better chance at life
Fighting to survive
I just want to survive
What do I want to be in the future?
Alive

Reminiscing back to when we were kids
Laughing and playing you know how it is
How it's supposed to be
Smiles and laughter
With no worries
But that wasn't the case
Cause the smiles and laughter were a front for a pain
A way to hide away
A way to say we're fine but we weren't
We were just kids
All wishing life was different
We were just kids who couldn't talk about our pain
All we could do is hide it away
Playing hide and seek but you weren't not searching
We were all hiding
And you didn't come look for us
Playing tag and as we ran away you just stayed in place
You didn't come after us
Didn't bother to try
And we were just kids who didn't know why
We wanted different but you never knew
You were too focused on more important things to do
You had to cook dinner
You had to have a job
You had to put clothes on our backs
Shoes on our feet
While we were laughing and playing
You were slaving away
Trying to give us the best life
Little did you know when we cried
She was being hurt
And you knew
You blamed her for a decision she didn't make
Yes it was a mistake
Not one she liked but yes one she made
I wanted to say something
But what could I say
I was just a kid at the end of the day
Adults turned their heads
We lowered ours
Why did it feel like the world was falling apart
While you sleep at night
I'll stay awake and cry
Cause you spent the day slaving away
While I lived a lie
We were just kids in this messed up world
We were just kids knowing too much
We were just kids with no guts
We were just kids hoping to wake up
Hoping the sun would come out
It was all just a dream
But instead we woke up to your screams
All the arguing that never ended
But we were just kids who didn't know any different
We hid in our room until it was all done
We acted as if we knew nothing
But we did know
We were just kids living our lives
Who knew the day we would wake up and our childhood would be gone
Wasted on tears and sobs
Wasted on laughing and smiling as a front to our pain
Wasting on wishing it was all just a dream
Wasted on never being able to say what you wanted
Wasted on hoping you would see her tomorrow
Wasted on hoping the star you saw was shooting
And the dream you made would soon come true
But you wake up one day and it's all gone
Oh where has our childhood gone
I looked everywhere for it and it's not there
It must have escaped with all my deep sadness somewhere
Now that I'm older I wear my smile with pride
I wish that little girl never cried
I wish she got a chance to wipe those tears from her eyes
I wish better for what once was
But we were just kids and that was our life
We were just kids who managed to survive
Time has gone we are all older
All trying to heal from once was
But we were just kids at the end of the day
All grown up now
I look back and think
How much I miss those kids from yesterday
The kids who laughed and played
The kids who were just kids at the end of the day