I’ve been wrong, haven’t I?
A painful realisation
To admit to myself
That the path I chose
Wasn’t the one

I’ve been pushing the world away
Thinking it was the problem
I’ve been using a flashlight
When what I really needed
Was the darkness
To truly feel the pain
To sit it with
And slowly
Become peace with self

and tell me exactly
how
am i
supposed to look
at
a
man
that is calling me beautiful
and tell him
that i don't like it
because
his voice
isn't
yours?

You know, I’ve never seen such a smile,
Sincere, kind, knowingly sly.
I would keep quiet and stand for a while,
And with anxiety, delight, I would cry.

That slight curve of your plump lips
Is the reason to live, even to breathe.
I promise, love, I’m happier than kids,
My heart rate would always increase.

Your lips on my cheek, your hand on my waist,
I blush when I look in your eyes,
All the time, all the efforts are not waste,
Every time all the sadness dies.

With anxiety my heart breaks, I will cry,
I’ll keep quiet and stand for a while.
Cold, devoid of warmth, dry..
You know, honey, I’ve never seen such a smile.

The pursuits or goals you ascertain, one day to find they’re all in vain
You try and keep trying, crack a smile when you feel like crying
For all the riches you attempt to attain

You make a few mistakes and for judgement that’s all it takes
You try and keep trying, crack a smile when you feel like crying
For peoples opinions make you pump the brakes

But still you take the chance, to view life at more than a glance
You try and keep trying, crack a smile when you feel like crying
To escape this matrix induced trance

Now you’re on the other side, filled with joy and love where once was pride
You try and keep trying, crack a smile when you feel like crying
And enjoy the remainder of the ride

Razorblades grating the graphite
Sharpened to a point,
Infinite are the worlds pouring in torrid thought
Scribble them and refine
Render until the faces define
God of two-dimensional clay
Golems of creation,
My darling, characters.

I’m all out of color -
the dim light fills my room,
casting shadows of a waning heart
across my cloud gray walls.
I can’t remember what it feels like
to eat from my heart
and drink from my soul -
what it feels like
to hold the weight of the world
in my palms.
My memories are painted
in colors I can’t quite recall,
my words sung in a melody
I can’t quite capture.
What’s left of me lies
inside these four walls,
complacent in my capture.

she told me it’s just your brain
protecting itself

because it’s only good when you look back on it
but I can feel the way your fingers felt playing with my hair before tracing freckles in the sunshine

but tucked around the corner
like a child snickering about stealing the last chocolate bar

I can hear the whispers of arguments
of resentment and frustration

I know it’s protection

but it’s hard when perfection was replicated when there weren’t words or clothes to get in the way.

wrapped in sunshine and caressed by fantasies we both wanted to come true