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 May 2016 BardOfTheNorth
J Valle
Nostalgia,
Would you keep me warm at night?
Not with tears,
But with embrace.
Nostalgia,
Would you make me feel again?
Not this sadness all over again
I want madness pure and loving.
Nostalgia,
Would you take me for a ride?
Not down Memory lane,
Take me someplace I can't name.
Nostalgia,
Could you bring him back to me?
 May 2016 BardOfTheNorth
J Valle
Today I missed you,
My mind wandered
And led me to memories,
Of you, of kisses
Of vows forgotten
And broken promises

I thought of your whereabouts,
If your heart is being taken care of
If your smile is still the brightest
I thought of your voice, echoing,
Through my veins and bones

Today I missed you,
I promise I won't call, neither text,
There is a reason you are now my ex,
A reason with a name and last name
Any other attempt, will keep me lame
So I'll just think,
And miss what you where
 May 2016 BardOfTheNorth
Rj
Preemie
 May 2016 BardOfTheNorth
Rj
I was born premature
I came out tiny, skinny,
A whopping 3 pounds and whatever ounces
My parents told me they didn't expect me to have full use of my lungs
But I did
Premature babies don't grow very quickly in early childhood
But I don't think I ever saw that
I mean I always knew I was small
But I never realized how small
Looking back at all the pictures of me,
I was always the smallest, skinniest, and shortest kid around
The boys would scoop me up and carry me down the halls,
But not in the cute princess way
It was more of tossing around a toy
And I'd sit there kicking the hell out of them screaming to put me down
But it never occurred to me there was a reason I was so small
It was fourth grade and I weighed a whopping 47 pounds, the boys still carried me off, and I still didn't take it
Turns out, puberty wouldn't hit me like it would hit all the other girls
In fact, there wasn't even a need for my mom to have "the talk" with me
In fact, at seventh grade I didn't know what the hell a period was
I didn't even where bras.
In fact the first day of high school I wasn't wearing a bra!
And I cried the first day when I realized that ******* everyone had bras on and I didn't even own one
And to my dismay I realized my mom had actually bought my little sister bras, but I didn't have any
And I was the point of interest at hushed family get togethers
Hearing hushed conversations like
Poor baby, it obviously won't happen any time soon
Im sure she will catch up
And I certainly didn't realize why my little sister was taller than me, bigger than me, and now curvier than me!
That was my job ******.
And my favorite was when my mom introduced us to friends and they would always ask my younger sister how high school was and I would have to interrupt and say "Hi I'm the oldest actually"
I never thought it to do with the timing of my birth
But now I'm discovering that it turns out preemies are at high risk for physical developmental problems, learning disabilities (especially with math), ADHD, depression, psychosis, and anxiety in the teenage years
And much more likely if the birth weight was under 4 pounds! (Me)
But just like when I was four and the boys carried me and took turns lifting me off my feet
I won't let it stop me
I won't let it get to me
Being a preemie is tough.
Especially when you were born as early as I was, and as small as I was
I'll always look younger, I'll never look my own age, and I'll never be very curvy,
But I guess that's just something to add to the list of things that are supposed to hold me back.
I won't let them
 May 2016 BardOfTheNorth
shåi
i made love to the beach
and i thought of you
its airy wind reminded me
of the time you came and went

i made love to the wind
for it sprinkled over me
like a thousand winters
harsh and cold

i made love to the sun
again and again
forever addicted
souls forever mended

i made love to the sky
for it loved me so effortlessly
it had been my morphine
just like how you used to be

(b.d.s.)
should i start to put song recommendations in here?
sotp: walk away // jmsn
In spring ...
Bright, strong and straight
Filled with moisture
Prominent veins on your skin
Strong winds blow, you flutter
Producing a dance show
At night you are quiet
No eyes to see

In summer ...
Color slightly faded
Wilted from the heat
Crying out for rain
Trying to hold on
Nights are warm
Stars pierce the night
Illuminate your shape

In autumn ...
Color transformed
To red and orange
Parched skin a translucent fabric
Death is near
Edges curling

In winter ...*
You are invisible
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