when I was little I was always bubbly and happy
over time things changed
the smiles became forced
wanting to dress up and stand out became wanting to seem small and fit in
wanting to love turned into doing anything for love
I hear all the time "just wait till you get to the real world"
but what if I've already seen it
what if that's what changed me
I once was a sweet happy innocent little girl
I'm now a shell of what I once was

here we are back again
in front of the medicine cabinet
with a brain full of yearning
and a heart full of sadness
my brain chemically ill making itself yearn for death
my heart full of sadness just wanting it all to stop
the only thing my mind and heart can agree on is that the sadness needs to end
this must be the only way right?
every other way I've tried never work long term
so if not this then what's the answer