When I say I miss you
I mean that
I miss everything about you
I miss you altogether
I miss your contagious smile
I miss the feeling I get when your beautiful hazel eyes skim over my figure
I miss the feeling of your skin against mine
I miss the melodic tune of your voice weaving through my ears
I miss the comfort and safety of being close to you
I miss the way you hold me tight
I miss how you tell me you love me without hesitation
I miss it when you kiss me gently and when you kiss me harder than you ever thought you could
I miss when you hug me and the world fades away and it’s just us standing there holding one another for as long as our heart’s content
I miss you, **** it
*I miss you

*******,
and you inability to love me.
*******,
and how you've never supported me.
*******,
and your words that cut me.
*******,
and your dead heart that beats me.
*******,
and your traps that trap me.
*******,
and the love you denied me.

But **** me,
For believing you,
For loving you,
For letting you in,
and giving you chances.
Yes, **** me, and my
Stupidity

for 3 years,
you infected my thoughts, my body and my soul.
Now you run like you've run from everything else;
avoiding your feelings and the consequences
of your own stupidity.

Maybe one day,
even 25 years from now,
you will finally clue in
the amount of sorrow you brought to someone's life.

She's standing, and I smell
the fear she's emitting
it seeps from her every pore
and the baby is screaming
as he curses, his voice rising
like a volcano erupting
all it's dark ashes.

She rocks the baby
a pacifier for the tears falling
I hear a familiar lullaby
and I know she's afraid
and the lullaby is her way
of communicating her terror
as he curses again
                          again
                              again.

The singing is a bright red scream
and I catch the baby's eyes
a bottom lip turned over,
a head on a shoulder
the father shouts,
"You're my wife and I'm not leaving without you!"

Neither mother nor child
are safe, I know this
and I know this for all the reasons
I maybe shouldn't
but I know what fear smells of
I know the scent
I know the cues to surrender.

Mother and child
their eyes in misery
are screaming silently
to us all,
"Help us!"

© Sia Jane