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I can feel it — faint, confined.
It's still there, but undefined.
Just suppressed,
and drugged to rest,
by a pill I couldn’t mind.

My brain won’t think, it slips, it stalls.
Like echoing in padded halls.
It’s wrong, it’s still,
it bends my will —
the silent weight that gently falls.

Traces of fear, of thought, of grace,
drift like mist through a flooded place.
I sense, not live,
no flame to give —
just shadows I can’t face.

Like perfume trails that softly cling —
of fear, of love, of everything.
They haunt, they stay,
but fade away —
as if beneath a wing.

They’re trapped inside, they do not spill.
All smothered
by that morning pill.
It crushed the tide,
the storm, the chill —
the scream I couldn’t will.
I haven't thoughts,
I haven't eyes,
I haven't rumor.
What's my price?

i'm deathless
I'm eating minds,
And it's amazing.
What's my price?

Close your eyes,
You'll see my world —
My darkness, shocking, lying world.
a dip in it,
Start feeling it —
My darkness, shocking mess.

I feel nothing,
As if death visited me.
She’s laughing at me,
She’s scaring me,
She despises me and my life.
'Cause I'm the devil's wife.
This union is indestructible,
And it's eternal.
Tears are pouring from my eyes —
Bad surprise, so bad surprise.

Close your eyes,
You'll see my world —
My darkness, shocking, lying world.
Take a dip in it,
Start feeling it —
My darkness, shocking mess
Hey girls,
What's up, boys?
on, little cup of tea —
Maybe forty, maybe eighty.
on.
n stay at home alone
With tea, or maybe something... no.
real life with love —
No God, no rules, no thoughts.
not good,
But we have a choice, a voice.

A million boys, a million girls,
We have a choice, we have a voice.
A choice to be clean, a choice to be free —
My voice is heard, my voice is heard.

We're not over people —
We're just people
Who want love,
Who want part.
over people.

I can't look backstage at the performance,
My eyes close from Sin City.
want to be more pretty,
But I can't.
ult in me —
In my heart it's cold.
e of opinion
In this laid-back world?

My spirit is more clean,
But you just can't be clear.
n be honest with Mom,
We can be honest with Dad —
They maybe won’t understand,
And it makes me upset

A million boys a million girls
we have a choice we have a voice
One more night is all we have — just you and me,
One more mad and moonlit evening, wild and free.
Your eyes meet mine — and suddenly, I breathe.
I whisper, “Darling, let’s just lie beneath.”

And may this night stretch on a thousand more,
I’ll keep your gentle gaze in memory’s store.
But soon the moon will rise again, and though we try —
We’ll never meet again, no last goodbye.
***
We love the ones who never look our way,
Exalting them in dreams they’ll never know.
We long to fall asleep in their embrace,
And drown in tender feelings as they grow.

But pain grows deeper, sharper every day,
When reason cuts illusions into dust:
We’ll never live within the hearts that stray,
Whose only thoughts are those of love and lust.

I ask myself — since I drew my first breath —
Why has our God so hated us, so cold,
To shape such perfect moments in our heads,
Yet let us die before they can unfold?

He gave us dreams of warmth, of love’s delight,
Then told us: Tempt yourself, believe it’s true.
He made us yearn, and whisper in the night:
“She loves me, yes — and I love her too.”

We tell ourselves we're loved by beauty’s face,
That we belong to some imagined flame.
ntom touch, a kiss we can't replace —
And yet, we whisper love without a name.

We drift back to the life we tried to flee,
Return into the quiet, shapeless dark.
We try to **** the dream, to just let be —
But dreams remain, though torn and deeply scarred.

And till all breathing things draw final sighs,
Till silence claims the last of what we’ve known,
We’ll love the ones who never meet our eyes —
And crush the hearts that call us theirs alone
He wants my skin,
He wants the flame,
He draws me in —
I feel the shame.

He needs my heat,
My full surrender,
He calls it sweet —
I can’t feel it.

He needs my soul,
My heart, my crying,
He wants it all —
But I am dying.

The mirror’s dim,
My chest is hollow.
He beckons me —
And I still follow.

He wants my breath,
My broken frame —
I want the sniff,
He want's my pain.
You want a boy from a neat little clan,
With a house, a dog, and a five-year plan.
A dog named Gatsby — a film kind of name,
While I stay the ghost in your heart’s hidden frame.

The softest, the calmest, the freshest by far,
The girl who won’t moan in my bed like a star,
Who won’t cry out “Faster!” beneath midnight sheets —
Just a memory fading through half-broken beats.

To flip this whole game? That would sure be divine,
But you are a caliph — you don’t cross the line.
“You must find your peace,” you said with no fuss,
While I threw up alone on a tile full of dust.

You came like Malvina — a porcelain flame.
I said, “I love you,” you answered, “Not same.”
“Not same,” was your word, your full quiet end,
I drowned in that “no” you refused to amend.

In my ***** I sank, like a ship full of rot,
It smelled like the people that heaven forgot,
It smelled like the fires that bogs never lose —
I died in that bathtub, no chance to refuse.

You put me to sleep like a dog gone too sick.
Too bad I’m not Gatsby, not pretty, not quick.
My owner? Not someone from sweet family ties —
He'd hold my paw softly, not hand me goodbyes.

You held my hand just to whisper: “Now die.”
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