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Spent silverfish, massed on black
whippets at        the end of the track
cracked nut shells, lying
inflated balloons, dying.

Steel mosquitos that    tattoo poppies
shot up cartridges by    the school gate
in new mown grass    that stinks      the street.

All my life
I had strived to be normal

Once I finally move to this new school
I will be normal
...I wasn't

Once I style my hair differently
I will be normal
...I wasn't

Once I join this club
I will be normal
...I wasn't

I never was
No matter the rules I made
The clothes I wore
The school I went to

No matter how many how many YouTube videos on how to make friends I watched
The techniques I tried
And the books I read

Now
Only now
Do I finally accept
And take pride in
The fact that I am weird


Now
I try to find
Other weirdos like me
And make them my friends
Instead of the copy pasted people

I am weird
But I am weird
In a good way

I still remember you, the fragment of you in my mind. Still laughing, still loving me. Our hearts still beating at the same pace. I have done wrong upon you. But please, remember my promise, my unconditional love. Still, boundless. My love.

How long
Can one wait
For life to begin?
For miracles to occur,
for love to unwrap
and for strength come.

How long
Have you
Already waited?
with your heart in your palm,
open to the world.
with the twinkle in your eye,
staring down at the earth.
with your voice quieted to a whisper,
with your anomalies hidden in a shameful corner.
For the world
to be kinder, for its touch
to be softer.

I used to believe that in order to let love in,
you let in, in your heart, the people who carry it.
But today,
as I waved you goodbye,
and I let you go, let you go,
I realised.

Love also comes from people leaving.
Love also comes from letting go.

I used to believe that in order to let love in,
you share as much of it as you can,
with people you hold close
But today,
as I waved you goodbye,
and I let you go, let you go,
I realised.

Love also comes from not holding on
Love also comes when some people are gone