she's someone new
but she isn't

a lifelong friend
making me feel
the fluttery wings
of little pink butterflies inside
small and soft
billowing silk
holding me up

sort of like the curtains
in my old bedroom
pink and flying
in the ocean wind

i don't think i love her
but i really could

Castles are only walls
made to look pretty.
Kingdoms can only fall
because they aren't that pretty.
You treasure decorations
over things that
do their job.
Because
they are disposable
and beauty
is not.

i hung up my mirror this morning
and i realized
it wasn't my face i saw

not a "pretty girl" anymore
but a woman
the same woman that my mother was
the woman my sisters would be
the woman that i regrettably am.

i saw a person that would no doubt
run from every one of her problems
abandon her life
over and over
until she had nothing left

i saw a face that i had seen in my dreams
in my nightmares
and in life all the same

i took the mirror back down
and broke it

everything
just
everything

deep breaths
calming down
get a fist around your emotions
think about them
discuss with them
get rid of the unnecessary ones
no more panicking
no more breaking down
lets get this together
and rise up

One thing's for sure
Within is a soul
That's pure
It's meant for love
It's meant for more

My fingers used to
always smell of her,
her scent would linger
on my clothes for days

Now that she has left,
my fingers reek of cigarettes,
and my clothes remain unwashed

All I want is for my skin to
absorb her scent once again

But this is not a poem,
and she has changed her perfume

i know that you "like" me
and maybe one day i can really like you too
but right now
even if i did
i wouldn't know
because i can't tell my emotions apart anymore
and you, as a person, deserve more than
my broken aching self
i'm sorry